13 Books "No One" Has Read

[3894]

Did you see the list of novels people claim they've read but no one actually has? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/03/lying-about-books_n_703762.html#s133791) I thought it might be fun to run it down here.


The list:

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville

Ulysses by James Joyce

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

Don Quixote by Cervantes

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

[JWBear]

I actually have read four of those.

[scaeagles]

I am only at three.

[3894]

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Yes and somewhere in my basement I have an old lp of highlights read in the correct pronunciation. You're so attracted to that, aren't you.

Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville

Blech, no.

Ulysses by James Joyce

I should.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Yes but only once because it was assigned. Since I am practically contemporaneous with Bob Cratchitt, this was a really long time ago.

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

No and probably never will.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Life is too short to read this book.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

Barely even heard of it.

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

No and I heart physicists but ... no.

Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust

YES! and en français as Dieu intended. All the volumes. I used to have a poster of a diagrammed Proust sentence in my office. That and the Chaucer record make you want me, don't they.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

Yes. Loved it, loved the movie.

Don Quixote by Cervantes

Most unread classic there is. If it were from France, I would have read it. Since it is from Spain, I have not.

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Not from France, either. Plus, three times I have tried to read Crime and Punishment and three times I have given up in boredom. No Russian novels.

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

No but I loved "The Sound and the Fury". I should read this one.

[flippyshark]

A lot of Canterbury Tales, about a third of Don Quixote, all of Christmas Carol, Moby Dick, The Name of the Rose and A Brief History of Time (which is short and painless, so there's no reason not to read it). Haven't read War and Peace yet, but I kind of want to. Same with Satanic Verses. Not on this list, but I've been through the unabridged Les Miserables twice.

[Chernabog]

I've always been a big reader and never read most of the above (though of course I am familiar with most of them from movie versions or via discussions elsewhere).

I've been through the not-on-this-list unabridged Les Miserables (back in junior high school!). I'm interested in reading the Satanic Verses (mostly because of the controversy, and because I just heard about it again on Christopher Hutchins' "God is not great:How religion poisons everything."

I've started Moby Dick but never finished. And you couldn't pay me to read A Christmas Carol or anything else by Charles Dickens. So boring. (Well, I take that back, you COULD pay me, lol).

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Hawking's History of Time does not belong on that list. It is completely accessible, IMHO. If you're even partially interested, go for it.

I read Satanic Verses in high school. I was a library TA and someone donated the book to the library. The librarian didn't add it to the collection, mostly because we had very little room to add anything. My interest was peaked due to the controversy, so I borrowed it and sped through it without understanding one lick of it.

Christmas Carol was ok. Tried multiple times to read Quixote, couldn't get far. Read about half of Moby Dick but eventually realized I had no interest at all in continuing. The rest I never even felt like trying.

[DreadPirateRoberts]

Call me Ishmael

[wendybeth]

I've read six, and parts of three others. (Satanic Verses, Remembrance and Ulysses). A Christmas Carol is one of my favorite stories, although it's not a not a novel technically.


Don Quixote, much like Candide, has a special place in my mind. Hardly a week goes by when someone or something happens that reminds me of either book. A lot of the books listed were required reading in HS and college, but Hawking and Tolstoy are both authors I very much enjoy reading, even if quite a bit of Hawking's material is difficult for me to truly comprehend. I also loved Carl Sagan, and have nearly all of his published works. I wish they'd been my science instructors- I would have liked science a good deal more in school.

[Not Afraid]

Oh how I love Candide.

[frodo potter]

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
I read about half the stories but almost none of the connective text.

Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville
I was a history minor in college and while studying abroad I read it in a British history of the united state class

Ulysses by James Joyce
I tried I really did. I love mythology & I love the Odyssey but I got about half way through and just gave up.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Yes I went through a Dickens' faze where I read basically everything I could unabridged.

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
Yes my parents had a copy and I wanted to see what the contraversy was about. Frankly I didn't like it much. Magical realism is oddly not my thing.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Yes it was long but I was thinking about the Navy as a career. It was good but could have been 100 pages shorter but was not a hard read.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
no, barely even heard of it

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
No but I want to. I know its not a hard read but I just haven gotten around to it.

Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust
I have started a couple of times but not finished

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
Yes loved the movie loved the book, one of the few that the movie was as good as the book.

Don Quixote by Cervantes
Yes I loved the idea and the time period so it was one of my favorite reads.

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
Yes read it, Crime and Punishment, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, and The Gulag Archipelago all in one year. It was a very odd year.

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Again I started it but only got about 5 pages in. I really don't get Stream of Consciousness writing. I read all of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man but it took all I had to finish and that book is both shorter and easier or so I understand.

So total
7 read
3 started
3 nos

[flippyshark]

Oh how I love Candide.

Me too. Short, satirical and worth frequent revisits. (and the Bernstein musical has some of the most glorious melodies ever devised)

[Chernabog]

Me too. Short, satirical and worth frequent revisits. (and the Bernstein musical has some of the most glorious melodies ever devised)

I love Kristen Chenoweth's take on "Glitter and be Gay."

[Ghoulish Delight]

I've read small portions of the Canterbury Tales, and I've read Ulysses, though I don't remember a lick of it.

I HAVE read both the Odyssey (twice) AND the Illiad.

[€uroMeinke]

3 - Satanic Verses, Moby Dick, and Name of the Rose - I enjoyed 2 of the 3

[3894]

So total
7 read
3 started
3 nos

http://images.memegenerator.net/Hipster-Kitty/ImageMacro/2448414/13-Books-No-One-Has-Read-CliffNotes-Version.jpg

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Hmm, I wasn't assigned these, so here are some that I was assigned that I couldn't get through.

Pride and Prejudice
Crime and Punishment
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
There are tons more that I can't remember.

On the other hand, I loved Shakespeare (Macbeth, Hamlet, Julius Caesar, Much Ado About Nothing), Lord of the Flies, and, my mind just went blank....there are more on this list too.

[BarTopDancer]

Cliff Notes got me through British Lit in high school.

I love to read but I hated nearly every book we had to read.

[wendybeth]

I love 'Pride and Prejudice'- have it on my nightstand now. :)

I love Russian history and lit as well. 'The Death of Ivan Ilyich' is one of the best novellas ever written, IMHO. Dostoevsky can be a hard slog- I think Tolstoy is much easier to read, although Dostoevsky is pretty good at depicting madness and desperation in his characters, and he offers a strong glimpse into the customs, mores and daily lives of the pre-Revolution citizenry.

[ToriBear]

I love 'Pride and Prejudice'- have it on my nightstand now. :)



I have 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' on MY nightstand. ( I have read the real version, and I love it.)

And I want to read 'War and Peace'.

[Alex]

Of course, since this is supposedly a list of books people most often lie about having read, this entire thread is immediately suspect.

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer - No,and no interest in doing so.
Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville - Yes, and I've read Volume 1 twice.
Ulysses by James Joyce - No.
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens - I find Dickens to be essentially unreadable. The very embodiment of the horror that is Victorian novels. And I've given him many chances since my favorite prof in college was a Dickens scholar and I wanted to be able to kiss his ass. But it wasn't worth the pain. However, A Christmas Carol is so short I was able to get through it.
The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie - No.
Moby Dick by Herman Melville - Significant parts but I've never made it to the end.
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace - No, no interest based on other stuff of his I've read.
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking - Yes.
Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust - No.
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco - No.
Don Quixote by Cervantes - I've read the first third about a dozen times and never make it farther. And since everything that popular culture knows about Don Quixote happens in that first third, I assume nobody else ever gets any farther either. But that part is pretty good.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy - Yes. Crime and Punishment is perhaps the best novel of all time so I disagree with the comment above, but I did make it through War and Peace.
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner - No. Does anybody actually read any Faulkner any more?

[Alex]

Oh, while my skills are self-taught (having written many well graded papers through college on book and texts I'd never even opened) others may find this book helpful:

How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1596914696/) by Pierre Bayard

[Kevy Baby]

Call me IshmaelHi Ishmael

[Chernabog]

However, having a passing knowledge of the classics DOES make A Series of Unfortunate Events more enjoyable/funny. :)

[flippyshark]

However, having a passing knowledge of the classics DOES make A Series of Unfortunate Events more enjoyable/funny. :)

I was awfully pleased with myself when I spotted a reference to Nabokov in one of those books.

[alphabassettgrrl]

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Yes and somewhere in my basement I have an old lp of highlights read in the correct pronunciation. You're so attracted to that, aren't you.

Actually, I do like it! My boyfriend of the time and I were fascinated by the Old English pronunciations. I've read Canterbury Tales once in high school, and I'm partway through it again. I want a medieval, illuminated copy but so far I've only been able to find a few pages reproduced.

Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville

Never read it but I would be interested.

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

Interested. I think we have a copy around here somewhere. As I remember it, from paging through, it was kind of boring. From all the controversy, I expected more.

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Definitely read this one! He's great! I have a few books of this theme on my shelves.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

Yep, read this one.

The one book I was assigned as a kid that I just couldn't finish was "Treasure Island" by Stevenson. Just could not stand it. Might be more palatable now, but then? Ugh. I'd read a lot of books, and it was a point of pride that I'd finished all of them, but this one killed me.

[Chernabog]

The one book I was assigned as a kid that I just couldn't finish was "Treasure Island" by Stevenson. Just could not stand it. Might be more palatable now, but then? Ugh. I'd read a lot of books, and it was a point of pride that I'd finished all of them, but this one killed me.

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.This is my exact experience as well.

It's a bummer when classic adventure stories disappoint. Robinson Crusoe is another one. H.G. Wells never worked well for me either, though I did get through them. Whenever books, movies, etc refer to reading along with your favorite characters (the beginning of Neverending Story comes to mind, with the old man mentioning Treasure Island etal) I always think "but those stories are sooo boring!"

Perhaps in 100 years Harry Potter will seem boring too.

[flippyshark]

Perhaps in 100 years Harry Potter will seem boring too.

Heck, as much as I liked the series, there were stretches that taxed my patience already - the "Bickersons Go Camping" saga from Deathly Hallows jumps to mind.

I can picture some hapless student some decades from now. "I'm supposed to read how many pages?!?

[alphabassettgrrl]

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.

Oh, good, it's not just me. I had the same reaction (though I haven't tried to get through it lately), but I thought maybe a guy would appreciate it. I thought maybe I was too girly to "get" it.

[Kevy Baby]

I don't read anything that doesn't start with "Dear Penthouse Forum..."

[Alex]

Which, unexpectedly, means three things on the list remain possible for you.

[Stan4dSteph]

I think I read A Christmas Carol in high school.

[Prudence]

I've read The Cantebury Tales (in middle english, tyvm), A Christmas Carol (although another Dickens book is the only assigned text I never finished), The Name of the Rose, and A Brief History of Time (on my own, because my dad took me to see Hawking give a lecture and I wanted to be prepared.)

I have War and Peace on my to read list, but I also hated Crime and Punishment, so I've been wary of Russian novels. Although I like Chekov, so I should really give it a go.

[lindyhop]

I was a literature major but I only read two of these books for school.

Ulysses - I read this with another book that commented on everything chapter by chapter. That helped and I really enjoyed it.

A Christmas Carol - I've read this multiple times. It's the essence of Christmas for me.

The Satanic Verses - I read another Rushdie book and it was such a chore to get through that I don't think I can try another one.

Moby Dick - No, I had a choice between this and The Scarlet Letter in high school and picked The Scarlet Letter because it was shorter. (I didn't appreciate The Scarlet Letter until I read it again recently.)

A Brief History of Time - I love science books that I can almost understand.

Remembrance of Things Past - I've read the whole thing 1.9 times (just couldn't bring myself to finish it the second time). I've read the Combray intro to Swann's Way many, many times. It's beautiful music.

The Name of the Rose - Read it.

Don Quixote - I read an abridged version for a class and loved it. Always wanted to go back and read the whole thing, never did.

I refuse to read William Faulkner or Ernest Hemingway.

[Chernabog]

I actually picked up a copy of the Satanic Verses at the library thanks to this thread and have read the first 30 pages... it isn't unintelligible (yet) ;)

[lindyhop]

I actually picked up a copy of the Satanic Verses at the library thanks to this thread and have read the first 30 pages... it isn't unintelligible (yet) ;)

I didn't find Rushdie unintelligible but damn, there were a lot of words. ;)

[wendybeth]

I didn't find it unintelligible either- just uninteresting. Maybe now that things have gotten so much wackier in the Islamic world (or that I'm just that much more aware of said wackiness) I might change my mind......

[€uroMeinke]

I really enjoyed Satanic Verses, but I'm a fan of magical realism and contemporary Indian fiction.

[sleepyjeff]

I've read all of War and Peace, all of A Christmas Story(twice), and about a third of Moby Dick.

No intention of finishing Moby Dick....ever...no intention of reading any of those other books or re-reading War and Peace;

But I read at least one Dickens book every couple years and sooner or later I'll be back around to the story of Mr. Scrooge:)

[Cynthia]

Wow, I am so far gone I could not tell you if I had read any of them or not . . . I went on a several year long "dead female author" kick right out of college that turned off what memory I ever did have . . .