Notice to:

[Prudence]

Notice to the person waiting to get on the elevator on the first floor of the student services building:

If you are waiting on the very bottom floor of a building and the elevator door opens and there is someone inside, odds are they would like to get out. Where else are they going to go? Up again? They will get out of the elevator sooner if you could please move your bulk from occupying the entire doorway. Don't act so shocked. And close your mouth (unless you really are a codfish.)

[Prudence]

Notice to our next door neighbors:

Just because you have judged that we're not using one side of our driveway doesn't mean that your brood of adult children who have moved back in with you get to park there. I'm sorry you feel you don't have enough parking. If you cleaned out your garage you would have room for an additional two cars. You are not entitled to our guest parking so that you can continue to house umpteen adults and store all your crap in the garage.

[SusieP.]

Notice to my Evil Overlord Boss:

We are getting tired of your manipulative ways. Do you realize I will now be working with my 7th (count 'em, 7) supervisor this year? 7? And that's efficient because, why again? Why must you keep changing everything? Why did you pawn off YOUR job to my favorite supervisor, pretending it was just a brilliant idea that you suddenly had, when we all know you had it planned out the whole time? We can see right through you. You are so predictable.

Just so you know, I'm only here for the benefits at this point. 8 more weeks and the school year is over and I'm outta here. So there.

[MouseWife]

Oh, Prudence. I know yours are serious complaints but I am laughing at the way you described them. Basically, common sense common courtesy. Etiquette is that you allow the people on the bus/elevator/etc. disembark before you attempt to board. {why does that sound like a ride spiel?} Now I am not so great, I did not realize this was a 'rule' but rather common sense but I was chastised about trying to board a bus when the people getting off were slower than molasses. 'No, they have to get off first'. Well, then, Hurry up!!!

And, I have neighbors like that. :mad: Grrrrr.

SusieP.~your boss is just evil. Glad that you are looking forward to being able to get out.

[Not Afraid]

Notice to Birds: You must've chosen a mate by now. You probably already mated. You might even have eggs in your nest. So, why the racket? Do you have to chirp all day and all night as well? Don't you get tired? Isn't Spring almost over?

[BarTopDancer]

Notice to Birds: You must've chosen a mate by now. You probably already mated. You might even have eggs in your nest. So, why the racket? Do you have to chirp all day and all night as well? Don't you get tired? Isn't Spring almost over?

Yes, they do. And they have to start right at the literal crack of dawn and not stop until the the sun is totally down. :rolleyes:

[Ghoulish Delight]

Notice to crazy guy on SF street: You already scored yourself a cigarette off my coworker because you happened to have a lighter and all we had were matches (stupid new airline regulations). Your odds of getting a buck off of us are pretty low at that point. At least have the decency to just ask for the dollar, don't go off on some story about your car being in a parking garage and you don't want to pay with pennies.

[scaeagles]

Notice to the businesses who constantly put fliers on my door or throw ads in my driveway: Doing this by default means that you will not have my business. Period. I will not purchase anything from you if you find it necessary to hang your garbage on my doorknob or throw ads literally tied to a rock on my property.

(I did something once because I was so irritated. I got three fliers on my door from the same business in a month. So I bagged up a bunch of trash and took it and left it by the door of their business. Someone came out and asked me what I was doing, so I gave him one of his fliers back and said "If you find it necessary to leave your trash on my door, I will leave mine on yours.")

[Not Afraid]

Yes, they do. And they have to start right at the literal crack of dawn and not stop until the the sun is totally down. :rolleyes:

I think you misread my post. That do it all say and all night. They do not stop.

[blueerica]

Notice to our next door neighbors:

Just because you have judged that we're not using one side of our driveway doesn't mean that your brood of adult children who have moved back in with you get to park there.

:eek:

I wouldn't deal with that well for long. I hate it when people use the dental office parking lot for the restaurant next door when we're in the middle of a busy shift (and our patients are having to park a block away). I usually leave a kind note on the car. One time, I had to put a kind note on a Jeep that was parking in the lot during our busy shift, and through a little observation, I noticed that he lived in one of the condos nearby, or maybe it was a place he spent the night at frequently. I typed a note saying that at Del Rey Dental, we'd rather keep things on a friendly level with our neighbors. So please stop hogging the space. Or something to that effect...

He never parked there again.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

(I did something once because I was so irritated. I got three fliers on my door from the same business in a month. So I bagged up a bunch of trash and took it and left it by the door of their business. Someone came out and asked me what I was doing, so I gave him one of his fliers back and said "If you find it necessary to leave your trash on my door, I will leave mine on yours.")That is great! One time I got a flyer taped to my stairway handrail. When I pulled it off, the tape took some paint off the rail. :mad: I called the guy (local realtor) and said "look bub, this is NOT going to get you people's business."

Actually, strike that, I never say "bub". bubbubbub...

[jdramj]

If you get to the front of the line and you really can't stop talking on your cell phone to interact with the customer service person, please step aside and finish yourconversation or can you simply say to the person on the phone..."I'll call you right back" and hang up?

DO NOT tell that poor customer service person trying to work quickly to wait a minute when he or she asks you what they can help you with and kepp talking. I was extremely rude in my response to you since I was standing right behind you waiting with several small and tired children and I will do so again if needed.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Notice to the dude in the muscle car:

Goodness. You were in quite a rush as you sped up the ziggity-zaggity inclines at the Burbank City Center last week. I was getting out of my car and I heard you squeal up behind me, then squeal up the incline across from me, and up the inclines ad infinitum.

Were you urgently requiring a bathroom? Was your wife in labor? Did you discover that, instead of being Made you were about to get Whacked, requiring burned rubber to prevent your inclusion in a dead body montage to the tune of Derek and the Dominoes' "Layla"? If, in fact, it was the latter example, I'd suggest pulling into any of the myriad open spots and dashing into the mall where you might lay low in, say, Hot Topic. Bonus: you'd be able to dye your hair blue and purchase any number of shirts featuring a character from Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Lord of the Rings, thus defining yourself as neo-fuzzy-Punk (or, if you prefer, poseur.)

If not, then, well-- I think you should know that the kind of girl who's impressed with that kind of driving will also be the kind of girl who isn't impressed with your biological shortcomings.

[Kels]

Open letter to my co-workers:

In regards to the conference room refrigerator:

When you stack soda up to and against the freezer area, chances are that one or more of those soda's will burst and make a sticky gooey mess everywhere. (Just like it did last time, and the time before that). However, by placing the bottles of water on the top shelf and moving the soda to the lower shelves we can eliminate this situation all together. Imagine that!

It's not rocket science people! :mad:

[sleepyjeff]

If you get to the front of the line and you really can't stop talking on your cell phone to interact with the customer service person, please step aside and finish yourconversation or can you simply say to the person on the phone..."I'll call you right back" and hang up?

DO NOT tell that poor customer service person trying to work quickly to wait a minute when he or she asks you what they can help you with and kepp talking. I was extremely rude in my response to you since I was standing right behind you waiting with several small and tired children and I will do so again if needed.

Hear, Hear!!!

Who do these selfish buffons think they are?

[Prudence]

Notice to: The Shoreline Public Library reference desk

I was following YOUR instructions to call the day before the class I'm scheduled to teach and see if any students are signed up (because you're too busy to call me and tell me not to come if there aren't students.) YOU are the ones who solicited the volunteer teachers. I am plenty busy enough without you, thank you very much! Do NOT tell me when I call that you are too busy to look that up now, that I should call back some other time, and hang up on me. Either you want volunteer help or you don't. Don't solicit volunteers you don't really want just so you look good on paper.

[MerryPrankster]

Notice to: The Shoreline Public Library reference desk

I was following YOUR instructions to call the day before the class I'm scheduled to teach and see if any students are signed up (because you're too busy to call me and tell me not to come if there aren't students.) YOU are the ones who solicited the volunteer teachers. I am plenty busy enough without you, thank you very much! Do NOT tell me when I call that you are too busy to look that up now, that I should call back some other time, and hang up on me. Either you want volunteer help or you don't. Don't solicit volunteers you don't really want just so you look good on paper.


Wow!! Maybe I shouldn't read this thread. What jerks, geez! They really have some nerve. Uh oh, I'm channeling Beverly R. Sutphin again. :mad:

[Gemini Cricket]

Notice to Elevator Makers:
Why not make elevator buttons with a cancel feature? If someone presses a button it selects the floor, if you press it again it cancels the selection. That way if child in elevator with you presses all the buttons and then leaves, you can thwart his plans to have you visit all 20 floors.

[mousepod]

Notice to Elevator Makers:
Why not make elevator buttons with a cancel feature? If someone presses a button it selects the floor, if you press it again it cancels the selection. That way if child in elevator with you presses all the buttons and then leaves, you can thwart his plans to have you visit all 20 floors.

I've actually been on elevators that have this feature. It's wonderful!

[MerryPrankster]

Notice to: My neighbors

Either leash your dog or keep him off of my porch. I'm tired of searching for running shoes, socks and gardening clogs througout the neighborhood. I usually find them in your yard; front and back. What, you didn't notice the strange shoe that doesn't belong to anyone in your family???? Now, the last straw -- a package of Miracle-Gro with measuring spoon inside has gone missing from my porch. I can't find the damn thing anywhere. I hope S didn't eat it. I can't be worrying about this crap. You need to take some responsibility for your dog!

[Ponine]

(is this the same dog that doesnt get walked?)

[MerryPrankster]

(is this the same dog that doesnt get walked?)

Ummm..yes. I suppose the dog might be trying to "drop" a hint to his owner by stealing the running shoes. ;) He's desperate for a walk.

[Gemini Cricket]

Notice to Disneyland Executives:

For past annivesaries, you used to give guests cars...

[Tref]

Notice to: my feet

Please do not fail me now.

[€uroMeinke]

Notice to stockers of restroom paper towels - If your paper towels are so thin that they cannot be grasped and deployed with a wet hand, I will likely have to use more of them to dry my hands probably eliminating and probably surpassingthe savings you made by buying thinner towels to begin with.

[blueerica]

Notice to our kind and faithful leader:

€, you are about to hit 1,000 posts.

[Tref]

Notice to: my thermos

Please keep my hot liquids hot and my cold liquids cold. And if I drop you on the ground, please do not break and get shards of glass in my hot or cold liquid.

[Tref]

Notice to: my face

Stay pretty! Remember face, you are my numma two money-maker and I love you.

[Mousey Girl]

Notice to parents who take their kids to movies:

I know you love your precious little darlings. I know you think the wolrd of their happy chatter and commenting on every single thing. I just paid $18.50 for myslef, my friend and my son so that we could ENJOY the movie. The rest of the theater paid $ to enjoy the movie. No one enjoyed your children talking LOUDLY though the entire thing. You sat there and did nothing to stop them from talking. You even talked back to them. You also pissed off the entire theater when you talked into your NEXTEL! I know a lot of people were shushing you. Maybe you should refrain from attending movies until your freaking kids, and yourself GROW UP! Ok, I know it was a movie aimed at kids and some talking is to be expected, but you and your group were beyond rude. When I go to see Star Wars tomorrow I will probably have you kicked out of the theater if you pull this crap again.

[Prudence]

Notice to the apartment complex across the street:

You are incorrect in your assertion that your residents and their guests are allowed to make as much noise as they want. Title 10 of the Snohomish County Code does in fact prohibit a variety of noises, including car stereos -- even if parked, day and night, that can be heard 75 feet or farther away from the noise source.

And yes, this includes your low-life residents with their bar-b-q and the EIGHT FOOT FLAMES that one would think you'd be concerned about, but hey, it's your property. But the car as sound system for impromptu block party? That I can hear clearly, bass AND melody, across a busy 5 lane road, all windows closed and drapes pulled even though it's probably 90 degrees? That happens every weekend night from May through November for oh, six hours at a pop? THAT is going to stop. I don't want to be annoying law student bashing regular joes with her rudimentary knowledge, but when you tell me flat out, after I've courteously asked you to reduce the noise, that you're the manager and you say your residents can make whatever noise they want, whenever they want, I will prove you wrong. And I will *enjoy* doing it, because I'm evil like that.

Think Satan, but with bigger boobs.

I feel every lawyer stereotype coursing through my veins AND I LIKE IT!!! You think you're the lord of your little fiefdom, but you are really pig swill and it's sloppin' time.



(Actually, I enjoy searching municipal codes. If any LoT readers are ever having an issue and want to know if "there's a law," I'd be happy to give it a scan. I can't make anything happen, but I can provide you with the relevent set of impressive statute numbers that can either scare others into compliance or jump start your battle.)

[Monorail Man]

Where else are they going to go?

Notice to the common person:

Just because that person is on the first floor coming down, ask if you plan to leave the elevator. Commonly, I ride down, so I don't have to wait at long, staring at the call button. Don't assume that I will get out, or give funny looks. ;)

[SacTown Chronic]

Notice to those lame parents who have children that walk all over them:

You suck. Stop negotiating with your kids and start demanding respect. As it stands now your children have zero respect for you. How weak is that? Do you take this shiit from co-workers, bosses, friends and family? No? Then why the fvck do you take it from your kids? Build your parent/child relationship on a foundation of mutual respect and you'll find that parenting can be pretty damn fun.

[Mousey Girl]

Notice to Eduardo-regional Asset Protection Dude:

When you walk into our office DO NOT SMILE! We are not happy to see you. You make us even more paranoid than we already are. When you wisk someone into a side room make sure that we can see who it is so we don't spend the rest of the month guessing. Try to get everything done in 1 day, because when you return the following day we freak out even more. When you do escort people from the office make sure the door code is changed, that way we know they are gone and not just suspended. An even better thing is to announce who it is and what they did (unless it is me).

Last week we lost a manager...we know he was fired for Code of Conduct, we just don't know what part of the code he broke.
Yesterday we lost a rep, supposedly he was nailed for Customer Abuse (but the people who sat around him said there was no way he did what we have heard).
Today another rep was walked out, not a flipping clue why.
We have 2 more managers who are being looked at for various things.

All I can say is my paranoia recently has been justified by the happenings of the last 2 weeks.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Notice to my postman at work:

If you have a certified letter for someone, could you please walk the extra 3 steps to see if they are in the building, rather than just leaving the little card telling us that we now have to drive to the post office to pick it up.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Notice to: The Shoreline Public Library reference desk
Didn't see this before. Telling people you're too busy to help them is LAME.

Notice to those that called my circ desk while I was on desk and were put on hold for far too long:

I'm sorry. We get very busy up front. Perhaps if we were alotted more people at the desk it wouldn't be a problem. And I'm sorry if you hung up because I forgot to get back to you. I'm an idiot. :blush: I really meant to remember, I really really did.

Yes, I know it's lame to say I was busy to help you, but seriously, we WERE. At least I don't tell the person on the phone that I'm too busy.

[BarTopDancer]

Notice(s) to:

The lady in the parking lot who has almost hit me 3 times (as of today) as I was walking in the parking lot. HANG UP YOUR PHONE AND DRIVE! Thank you. We have 3 elevators in our building, why you ask me to hold the one I'm in for you as you walk in the door after you almost run me over is beyond me. If you're in that much of a rush leave 5 minutes earlier. And dudette. Lay off the perfume.

My co-worker. I realize you have 1 week left, but please do some work so we're not totally screwed when you leave. 2 weeks notice is standard for future reference. And lose the attitude. Too bad you had to go disappear on your cell phone for 20 minutes, we got to go home early. Nanny nanny boo boo. And ya, the boss did notice you were MIA. :P :P

OK, I feel better.

[wendybeth]

Notice to the SUV driving, Starbucks swilling soccer mom who tried to ram me yet again this morning: If you are turning in an unmarked intersection, you WAIT until the car going straight through is actually through the intersection before turning. Also, use your turn indicator. I realise you've grown accustomed to our morning duel of death, but I am getting bored with it, and may one day actually forego using my brakes. What the hell, I need a new car.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Notice to the mental giants orchestrating the roadwork on Jeffrey Road: I suggest you plan ahead next time so as not to require digging up the same stretch of road 3 times in a row. Perhaps try doing all the work you need to do while you have the street open the first time.

And while I'm at it, perhaps you should reconsider your policy of posting completion dates on the roadwork. When the electronic sign changes from "end of June" to "through July" to "through August" to "through September" to "through October", perhaps it's time to just give up and change it to, "Yes, we're incompitent and you have suffered through 4 extra months of being pelted by gravel due to our incompitance."

[Kevy Baby]

"Yes, we're incompitent and you have suffered through 4 extra months of being pelted by gravel due to our incompitance."OK, GD, I am REALLY sorry for picking on your spelling here, but of all words to spell wrong in this (very valid) rant: it incompetent.

[Kevy Baby]

Notice to Eduardo-regional Asset Protection Dude:

<snip for brevity>Where in the heck do you work?!?

[Mousey Girl]

I am a CSR for SBC.

[CoasterMatt]

I am a CSR for SBC.
You have my condolences... :p

[Mousey Girl]

TY! I love the service aspect of my job, I love the customers (even the crazies). I just don't like the sales part and the way we are pushed to sell sell sell.

[CoasterMatt]

The crazies MAKE customer service fun...

[Drince88]

I am a CSR for SBC.
CSR = Customer Service Rep
SBC = ???

(Asks the gal who lives in Southern Louisiana, not Southern California)

[Cadaverous Pallor]

CSR = Customer Service Rep
SBC = ???

(Asks the gal who lives in Southern Louisiana, not Southern California)http://www.sbc.com/gen/landing-pages?pid=3308

Telephone, wireless, etc. Used to be Pacific Bell, a division of Ma Bell herself.

[UvaGirl]

Notice to the thieving scum who stole my 2 heaters from the carpark of my new apartment: you suck.

[TheatreTech]

Notice to the kid who decided to launch a potato over his backyard fence while I was driving down the street yesterday: I know there are only so many things one can fathom to do with a potato while in your backyard, but I'm sure smashing it over your head would have been much more effective seeing as how it's obvious your brain already lacks the capability to see cause and effect.

Although you did manage to hit my car, you still fail because I practically own a tank and your projectile bounced right into the gutter.

All stupidity aside, I must thank you for using a rotten potato, therefore not wasting edible food.

[Prudence]

Notice to the "adult" student meeting with his advisor in the office next to mine:

No, don't mind me. I'd be so happy to watch your kids for you. In fact, don't even bother to say anything. Just go into the office, shut the door, and leave your 2 kids, both under the age of 3, to fend for themselves. I know you can hear them shrieking. People in Botswanna can hear them shrieking.

And don't mind me. I'm not working on anything important, like, say, a budget for a grant due to the funding agency by TUESDAY. No, nothing super important. I'd be happy to babysit your untamed brats. I'll just stay late tonight to finish my taxpayer-funded work then, shall I?

[Prudence]

Notice to my torts professor:

You clearly are confused about the meaning of "optional extra credit." By the very words used it implies that it is, well, optional. And extra. For everyone else in the world except you, this means that if one does the optional extra credit, one's final grade may be raised. And if one doesn't, one's grade stays the same.

Let's look at an example: If I get an A- without the extra credit, my final grade is an A-. If I do the extra credit and add enough points to make an A, I get an A.

When you are working with a mandatory curve, this does not work. If I get an A- without the extra credit, but there can only be, say 5 people who receive an A-, and if 5 people who otherwise had a B+ do the extra credit and earn enough points to get an A-, then not only do they get their A-, but my grade is *lowered* to make room for their increase. So I get a B+.

This is not extra credit. It's a take home exam question. Period.

And yes, I could elect not to do it. I could also elect not to do any of the exam questions with exactly the same results. I suppose technically that makes it optional, but not if I want to continue in this program.

And you're not posting it until Friday evening but it's due Monday morning?

Gee, here I thought I'd study for the "real' exam this weekend. Thanks for all the notice.

[Prudence]

Notice to the obnoxious woman from the other journal that shares this office space:

Yes, we are all quite thrill that Rent is coming to the big screen. However, the purpose of setting aside this office for student publications and installing little cubicals with outlets and etheret plug-ins was not so that you could visit lyrics.com and host a sing-along with your friends from the other journal. This is an *office.* It is a student publications office, but an office nonetheless. An office where *students* come to work on the *publications* which, as far as I know, do not yet have an audio component.

And furthermore, if you ask someone if you're bothering them and they say yes, do not get all huffy. YOU asked. No one came up to your face and told you to shut the hell up (although we may have been thinking it.) But since you asked, I'm not about to lie and say oh no, I *love* listening to this ever-changing soundscape as I try to write an actual article. You know, for a student publication. Like the sign above the office door.

Get off your high-and-mighty horse and shut up already. This is neither your shower nor your car.

ARG! whistling and snapping! That is just as bad as singing! Oh sweet Lord in Heaven....