Sad news about my mom

[RStar]

Hello everyone. I'm posting this here because I think it may be awkward to try to post it on FB where my mom can read it.

This is hard for me to put into words.

My mom was married at 14 and had me at 15. Because of her young age, I grew up feeling like we were from the same generation. We like a lot of the same stuff including music, TV & movies, and sci fi. As an adult we have become close friends.

She watched Walt build Disneyland on TV and her dad bought their first TV so his daughter wouldn't leave to go to a friends house every Sunday to watch it. Then in 1956, the second summer the park was open, her family drove down from San Fransisco to visit it. My first visit was when my mom and aunt took me in 1960 when I was one. Then we went once or twice a year growing up. She had moved to the Atlanta area for about 15 years but moved back about about 12 years ago. Since then we have been going to the park fairly often, doing Mouse adventure for a few years (where some of you may have met her), the 50th anniversary of the Mickey Mouse club gold mouse ears thing in front of the castle, and Mickey's Halloween Treat, and more. We always go on our birthdays.

She fell and broke her leg in November, then we found out in January that she has terminal cancer in all of her organs including the brain, lungs, and bones (which is how her femur broke so easily). She has just a few months at the most. She has been pretty week, but in fairly good spirits. She wants to try to go to the movies and to Disneyland a couple of times before she passes. I'm a little nervous trying to get her out of the house, but I'm well trained with my wife's health issues. I'm trying to do what I can to make the best of the time she has left.

This is going to be quite hard for me to handle, but I won't be alone. Thank you for a place to put it out there.

[alphabassettgrrl]

**hugs** I'm sorry. I'm glad you have a place here that you can talk about it.

[Morrigoon]

So sorry to hear it, rstar.

[scaeagles]

That is rough. So sorry. Certain things no one should have to endure.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I'm so sorry Rob.

[€uroMeinke]

So sorry Rob, but hopefully you can make these last days as joyous as possible. Love and mojo to both of you.

[katiesue]

So sorry to hear this.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

I'm really sorry to hear that.
<virtual hugs>, fully exchangeable for <actual hugs> upon request

[RStar]

Thank you everyone. It's very much appreciated.

My mom wants to get out, but she continues to have different health issues. She doesn't want to live her last days in her little bedroom, but I'm not sure we are just kidding ourselves that she will ever be able to get out again. Even if we can make one quick trip to Disneyland with my daughter so that my mom can be there with her great granddaughter's first trip to Disneyland. I'm talking rolling her onto Main Street in a wheel chair, take some pictures, then leave. That's all she wants. Ever since she found out that my daughter was pregnant, she would say she had to be there for her first trip. I hope we can swing it.

[blueerica]

You can swing it. It's not going to be easy, but you can swing it. By the sounds of it, it will be worth every second of it to your mom, so let her help you dictate what she can and can't handle. Any way you can get some extra help to make this happen?

I wish I was still in SoCal because I'd be there to assist, if the help was wanted. I think these sorts of moments and memories are so important.

Love and mojo to you, your mom, and your family.

[RStar]

You can swing it. It's not going to be easy, but you can swing it. By the sounds of it, it will be worth every second of it to your mom, so let her help you dictate what she can and can't handle. Any way you can get some extra help to make this happen?

I wish I was still in SoCal because I'd be there to assist, if the help was wanted. I think these sorts of moments and memories are so important.

Love and mojo to you, your mom, and your family.

Thank you for the encouragement! You are so sweet!

Right now she is fighting a chest cold, which is pretty dangerous when you have COPD and lung cancer. So I don't think I dare try, but my daughter got here tonight for a visit and I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow. So we will see what we can do tomorrow. I would have loved to do the quick DL trip, but I don't think it will happen. However I will keep a close eye out for any opportunity to get it done. Only her sister (my aunt, who also use to take me to DL as a kid, and took me to my first indoor movie- Mary Poppins) has an annual pass, so I'm not sure how much help I can get. But my daughter can help me get her to the gate, and I can get her and the baby in the park.

[cirquelover]

I am sorry Rob. I wish I was closer.
Enjoy the time you have with her and hopefully you can make a little trip to the park for a little magic. Take care of yourself.

[DreadPirateRoberts]

:(

[RStar]

Thanks again everyone. She is doing better. The doctor says her lung issues at this time is just bronchitis due to pollen irritation and not an infection. We had a good time visiting, but couldn't go anywhere today. Hopefully soon, though.

[3894]

I'm so sorry this is happening to your family, RStar. It is such a roller coaster.

My dad was dying from leukemia when he made a little day trip that was very important to him. He was going to see his developmentally-disabled son one last time.

We rented an RV so he could lie down during the drive, had a wheelchair, all the ways we could make it easier on him. We took it as easy as possible.

Dad made the trip and was happy. A couple, three days later, he was in the hospital for the last time. He passed away about 10 days after he made the trip.

No one ever dies from cancer, at least according to death certificates and cancer insurers. The primary cause of death was pneumonia.

Did he die sooner because of his day trip? Most probably.

Was it worth it? Yes. As you say, it's not the best to stay in a little room until you expire.

Peace be with you and your family. No matter what you decide to do about this, peace be with you.

[RStar]

Thank you, Helen. She has been getting better from the bronchitis that she has experienced lately, so hopefully she can try soon.

[Snowflake]

Oh Holy Hell, Rstar. I'm so sorry to read this. Been off LoT for a while, so sorry to not have read this sooner. Virtual hugs and shoulders here to cry on.

[Snowflake]

Thank you, Helen. She has been getting better from the bronchitis that she has experienced lately, so hopefully she can try soon.

Yes, because a positive thing to look forward to is also a great healer. Keep the positive mojo going!

[RStar]

Thank you, Snowflake.

We are hoping to try this weekend to make it to a movie. She has been quite the movie buff, and has passed that along to me. There was a while that we went to the movies every weekend. It's one of her most favorite things to do.

[RStar]

Well, her breathing was still to labored, so we didn't make it out to the movies. We had Easter dinner (she gets everything she wants, of course). We had Honeybaked Ham, baked beans, pasta salad, deviled eggs, and lemon meringue pie. All of her favorites. After dinner we watched a movie that she quickly fell asleep in the middle of watching.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I'm glad you're able to spend time with her. I hope she's able to go out to a movie soon.

[RStar]

Well, she wasn't able to make it out this weekend. I told her if she has a good day during the week, we should take advantage while we can.

She said it's weird because she sits up in bed thinking she would go to the kitchen for something but then remembers she can't do that anymore. Something so simple that we all take for granted.....

[RStar]

Well, she wasn't able to make it to a movie this past weekend. I think she is a little concerned about trying. But she said she just needs to "get out of bed and do it". And that goes for a trip to Disneyland as well.

We have always gone on our Birthdays, as I mentioned earlier. Mine is May 4th, my daughter's is May 7th, and my mom's is May 8th. My daughter will be staying with us the 7th or 8th through the weekend. All she want's to do is get her birthday button and take pictures with her new granddaughter's first visit. So we will be trying very hard to make that happen!

[katiesue]

I hope it works out, that would be wonderful.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I hope it works out, too!

[RStar]

Thank you, she seems like she really wants to try. And she is sounding a little better in her lungs as of late. So my daughter's birthday, May 7th, or my mom's birthday May 8th are the next possible dates for Disneyland.

[cirquelover]

Sending positive vibes that a visit to your Happy place will happen. Thinking of you friend.

[RStar]

Yes! Happy days, indeed!

On Friday, her birthday, she was able to make it to Disneyland! She was so happy!

So Thursday was my daughter's birthday and her, her husband, and my 7 month old granddaughter came down to stay with us, so we celebrated her birthday on Thursday with my mom. Then we went to Disneyland to celebrate mom's birthday (and mine from Monday and my daughter's as we have all three gone there to do in the past). Then Saturday we had the big birthday bash for the three of us. Today we will get together for mother's day, and if my mom feels up to it, we will go to a movie. I think that she feels more comfortable going out now.

I feel so much better now that we got her out! :snap:

[€uroMeinke]

Great news! Loved seeing the pics on FB - looks like everyone had a great time.

[alphabassettgrrl]

That's fabulous! I'm sure it is much better for her to be able to get out, at least once in a while. And she got to spend time at Disneyland! Awesome. :)

[katiesue]

Yay I'm so glad she made it!

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Awesome news! :)

[Snowflake]

Excellent! So happy for you and your Mom!!!!

[RStar]

Well, we had a short visit on Mother's day, but she was too worn out to be able to go to a movie that afternoon. So we were planning to go out Friday or last weekend. But on Friday afternoon she had some sort of a spell were she collapsed and then was in and out of it until Sunday afternoon. She was hallucinating and needed us by her bedside 24/7. The nurse said she is now in rapid decline. I'm so thankful that we were able to get out last weekend, because she will not be going out again now.

She is a big movie buff, and at least when we went to DL we saw the 20 minute Tomorrowland extended preview. So she got to be in a theater for a short while one last time. During the pre-show, when Walt was on, she told me that the same thing is taking her out that also took out Walt.

I'm afraid we are in the home stretch now.....

:(

[alphabassettgrrl]

**hugs**

[RStar]

Thanks ABG. She has very little awareness of what's going on around her any more. She doesn't even look like the same person as she did a couple of weeks ago.

I'm afraid it will be soon. And she was such a big part of my daily life, I'm not sure what my life will be like with out her.

[cirquelover]

I am so thankful you were all able to be together at the park. The memories will last a lifetime.

[RStar]

My mom had some sort of episode on the 15th, and hasn't been the same since. At times she seems lucid, but has forgotten how to do things like dial her cell phone. Other times she sees and says things that just aren't there or true. She tried to get out of bed and fell to the floor on Friday night (didn't hurt herself). She had a fight with her sister and socked her in her face. I'm not sure how we are going to swing it, but I'm afraid she needs to be put in a nursing home....

:(

[alphabassettgrrl]

**hugs** I've worked in a couple of nursing homes, and if that's what she needs, I'm sure they will take good care of her. The advantage is that she will have someone there 24 hours a day, who is well rested and ready to help. You will also be in better condition to help her when you go see her, since you will be able to sleep as well.

[katiesue]

I'm so sorry, a very tough decision to have to make.

[RStar]

So, mom had made a pretty good rebound. She has been able to take care of herself fairly well. It was one last shot of some independence, and we didn't put her in a home. But just this past couple of days she has started a rather rapid decline, and so it could be days, or she could rebound a little, in and out for a bit. But I doubt that she will make it past weeks at the most. And it was a week ago today that my son passed. It's almost more than I can bear....

[alphabassettgrrl]

**hugs** I'm glad she had a good rally.

[RStar]

Thank you, I am glad too. I think it helped us all, it took the stress off of everyone and we were more able to enjoy each others company more. Until of course, when my son passed away. It's been a rough week for sure...

[RStar]

My mom passed about 30 minutes ago. She had been in more pain the past few days, and basically went peacefully in her sleep.

Again, some of you may have met her at Mouseadventure dressed like Indiana Jones, along with my aunt and I.

[€uroMeinke]

My sympathies to you and your family, you've had quite a rough go these last few months - sending much love and mojo.

[3894]

Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your heart.

[katiesue]

Oh Gosh. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

My deepest sympathies to your loved ones and you.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I'm sorry. I'm glad she went peacefully in her sleep. **hugs** I hope you find peace.

[Strangler Lewis]

I'm so sorry.

[Morrigoon]

**Hugs**

[RStar]

So first my son died on June 10th, then my mom on June 17th, and now this morning my mother-in-law passed away. Ok, this just sucks.......

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Oh my gawd RStar, that's awful.
I wish I had words that could offer you comfort.
I'm so sorry this has been such a sh¡tty time in your life.

[RStar]

Thank you, it's tough getting old when the people around you start passing. But 3 in a month is so much for a person to take!

[alphabassettgrrl]

Oy. That sure is a lot! I'm sorry.