Student suspended over cell call from mom in Iraq

[Ghoulish Delight]

So a kid gets a call from his mom, serving in a Iraq, at school during school hours. The school's policy is that students are allowed to carry cell phones, but not allowed to use them during school hours. When a teacher told him to hang up he refused, and apparantly used profanity, and possibly more. They were considering arresting him for disorderly conduct, but suspended him for 10 days instead.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7762540/

My thoughts? Shame on the mother. You don't do something that will force your child to break school rules. I don't care where you are or what you're doing, and I don't care if it was the only chance she had to call. Unless it's an emergency, that's a horrible message to send a kid in school. "You can break the rules as long as you have a good selfish reason to." She never should have called during school hours.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

My guess is that maybe, had the kid calmly and politely explained the situation, there might have been a different outcome. He was suspended for swearing at the teacher, not for using the cell phone. Perhaps, he tried the polite route and became irate when it didn't work, I don't know, but it sounds like he didn't handle the situation well and now the teacher is being made out to be the villian.

As far as the mother making the call during school, the possibility does exist that the times she can make personal phone calls are few and far between.

[Ghoulish Delight]

My guess is that maybe, had the kid calmly and politely explained the situation, there might have been a different outcome. He was suspended for swearing at the teacher, not for using the cell phone. Perhaps, he tried the polite route and became irate when it didn't work, I don't know, but it sounds like he didn't handle the situation well and now the teacher is being made out to be the villian. Agreed, the kid clearly did not handle himself properly either.


As far as the mother making the call during school, the possibility does exist that the times she can make personal phone calls are few and far between.Undoubtedly. But that doesn't excuse it. Just as she has rules as to when she can make calls, her son has rules as to when he can receive them. I think it's a horrible lesson to say that it's okay to break rules because they are inconvenient. I see way too many parents do this, encourage their children to ignore rules for very selfish reasons. Is it any wonder the kid had no respect for the teacher if his mom is showing him that the rules don't apply to him?

[BarTopDancer]

I think there are exceptions to every rule, and a phone call from a parent who is deployed into a war zone should certainly qualify. And to say that the mother was teaching a poor lesson that it was OK to break school rules as long as it is convienent... Maybe she didn't realize that her son was in school. There is a massive time/day change between there and here.

Should the kid be suspended for swearing or the disorderly conduct? Sure, if that breaks school rules. But these school rules that are so black and white... Life isn't black and white, it is shades of gray and that needs to be brought back into the school system or we're going to raise a generation of kids who only see things as black and white. Same thing with zero tolerance. Bringing Tylenol to school receives the same [school] punishment as bringing a weapon to school.

[Prudence]

Clearly some people have never learned the utility of the "mommy note." For example, in jr. high we were only allowed to eat during lunch -- no food or drink at any other time of day. I'm slightly hypoglycemic and have to eat small snacks more regularly throughout the day or I get dizzy spells and pass out. A note from mom was all it took for me to be allowed to nibble some crackers and cheese at my locker between classes. In high school, we weren't permitted to use the bathroom at all between classes. I wasn't a big fan of using those bathrooms at ALL anyhow, and I was in honors classes where the teachers assumed that we were responsible and if we said we needed to go then we actually needed to go and weren't fooling around. But I carried a note from mom anyhow. Oh, and a note that I was allowed to have Advil whenever I wanted.

You'd think that a note from mom in this case, planned in advance, could handle things. If it were me, I would have talked to the principal in advance, let him know I was being deployed and that I knew of the school policy, but that I would have to take phone call opportunities whenever they arose.

Or maybe my school administrators were just afraid of my mom. That's entirely possible.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

If his mother is in Iraq right now, chances are the kid is having a rough emotional go of it. If children act out because they can't get enough attention from a parent in the room, imagine how they'd act out of they weren't getting enough attention from a parent who is risking her life halfway across the globe?

I agree that there are better ways that this could be handled by all, especially the mother (but I agree that the time difference might be confusing or the mother might have very limited opportunity.)

But I'd imagine that if I were sixteen and talking to my mother-- whose safety is not assured-- on the phone for the first time in weeks, I'd be emotional enough that I'd have trouble controling myself if someone tried to separate me from her again. And I'm fairly well-balanced.

[Ghoulish Delight]

But where do you draw the line? Unless it's a case of a student's health, as in Prudence's case, making an exception for this student opens a loophole that's too big to deal with. "My parents are divorced and my dad lives on the oppisite coast so I never get to see him and he works odd hours so he can't call often," for instance. That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are plenty of enterprising students who could come up with other excuses.

Exceptions should be made for vital situations. Receiving a "how are you doing" phone call is not a vital situation. Yes, we're all used to being connected to everyone all the time, but believe it or not, people once survived in this world without being able to instantly contact everyone they know at all times.

At the very least, she should have called the school and asked permission, not simply called the kid directly, assuming they are somehow a special case that can just ignore the rules for their own convenience. It's disruptive.

And going on pure conjecture, based on the kid's reaction, I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's learned the lesson that the rules don't apply to him. If he had simply appologized and dealt calmly with the teacher, it wouldn't have been an issue. But that kind of over reaction is symptomatic of someone who has not been taught to respect authority.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I have to disagree with my husband on this.

I can't imagine the amount of stress a child with a mother deployed feels. Deployments are for LONG periods of time. Do you know how long 6 months is to a 17 year old? Can you imagine having your mother taken away to a war zone?

I think I'd do exactly what the kid did - swear at the teacher for actually trying to tell me I can't talk to my mom that was torn away from me.

BTD is right about timezone stuff too. If you get one chance to call your kid, you take it.

Comparing a divorced parent's calls to this is just silly, IMHO.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I'm not saying the rules aren't justified. I am saying that I feel bad for the kid, who's surely having a hard time if he's that upset about a call from his mother.

[BarTopDancer]

But where do you draw the line? Unless it's a case of a student's health, as in Prudence's case, making an exception for this student opens a loophole that's too big to deal with. "My parents are divorced and my dad lives on the opposite coast so I never get to see him and he works odd hours so he can't call often," for instance. That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are plenty of enterprising students who could come up with other excuses.

Yes, I agree. However "my parent is half way around the world in a war zone" is quite different then your argument.

Exceptions should be made for vital situations. Receiving a "how are you doing" phone call is not a vital situation. Yes, we're all used to being connected to everyone all the time, but believe it or not, people once survived in this world without being able to instantly contact everyone they know at all times.

This may be one of those unless you've been there situations you won't fully understand. Receiving a "how are you doing phone call" from a loved one in a war zone is totally different then receiving the same call from someone in another state. I agree that people survived in this world without being able to instantly connect with everyone they know at all times. This isn't that situation.

At the very least, she should have called the school and asked permission, not simply called the kid directly, assuming they are somehow a special case that can just ignore the rules for their own convenience. It's disruptive.

I agree that she should have called the admin office, or had the child's father or guardian call, but it's not like she had unlimited phone usage. Like I said, shades of gray...

And going on pure conjecture, based on the kid's reaction, I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's learned the lesson that the rules don't apply to him. If he had simply appologized and dealt calmly with the teacher, it wouldn't have been an issue. But that kind of over reaction is symptomatic of someone who has not been taught to respect authority.

Or it may have been. LSPE said it best... Children act out when they aren't receiving the attention of their parent in the room, let alone across the country. His mom isn't on some exotic vacation calling to say hi. She is out there risking her life and her phone times are most likely few and far between. This may have been her only phone call for her entire deployment.

Oh, and you can be sure that I'd be swearing up a storm at the person trying to tell me to get off the phone with my deployed parent or loved one.

[Not Afraid]

I think it's a horrible lesson to say that it's okay to break rules because they are inconvenient. I see way too many parents do this, encourage their children to ignore rules for very selfish reasons. Is it any wonder the kid had no respect for the teacher if his mom is showing him that the rules don't apply to him?

No, I think the lesson here is that sometimes, for good, intelligent reasons, exceptions have to be made to certain rules. This case is extreme and, sometimes in those situations, the hard and fast rules of everyday life need to be altered. I think that is an excellent message to send to kids - you need to make intelligent decisions in extreme situations.

Personally, if I was that kid, I would say rules be damned. Talking to my parent is far more important that a blanket rules that shouldn't apply here. Suspension is an easy price to pay for talking to my deployed Mother who probably has a hard time making a call in the first place.

[Name]

yeah, I'd have to go with the "this is the last time I may be able to talk to my mother again" road on this one.....sure it could be the same for any one of us at any time, however, the odds are stacked strongly in this families favor for that to be more a reality. War sucks, and they don't give to many chances to make a phone call often when in a forward position. So I feel for this kid, and his mother, its a messed up situation.

[Morrigoon]

School administrators have one aim: to maintain order.

Making exceptions, or allowing personal phone calls upsets and threatens that order. I understand where they're coming from, but in that kids position, I'd have walked out. Fvck their administrative posteriors, I'd be talking to Mom. Some things are more important than a school administrator getting their panties in a knot over me breaking a rule, and worth the punishment. In this case, that's what he did, he was punished, and it was probably worth every bit of the punishment. But it's still stupid that he had to be punished.

Well, I take that back. Getting punished for the cussing is reasonable. But I'd have cussed too ;)

[sleepyjeff]

Yet the schools are the ones always telling the parents they should be more involved :rolleyes:

[DisneyFan25863]

I read somewhere that

a) the kid was at lunch, and the teacher tried to forcibly pry it from his hands, and
b) the kids Dad died 5 years ago, and he's in foster care


If I was at lunch and my mom called me from Iraq, I would have taken it as well. Its not like he was in class or anything.

[wendybeth]

Sorry, GD- not with you on this one. These are unusual times, and no one knows what that kid is going through. His mom is in a combat zone, and he didn't want to hang up on her. Kudos to him- most kids his age don't want to talk to their parents. If he reacted inappropriately, then he can take his punishment, but he likely had reason to react the way he did. (Not saying the school gave him a reason, just that life in general, etc, is probably getting to him). I know the school has to maintain order, but what harm would there have been in letting him finish his conversation?

[MickeyD]

Clearly some people have never learned the utility of the "mommy note." For example, in jr. high we were only allowed to eat during lunch -- no food or drink at any other time of day. I'm slightly hypoglycemic and have to eat small snacks more regularly throughout the day or I get dizzy spells and pass out. A note from mom was all it took for me to be allowed to nibble some crackers and cheese at my locker between classes. In high school, we weren't permitted to use the bathroom at all between classes. I wasn't a big fan of using those bathrooms at ALL anyhow, and I was in honors classes where the teachers assumed that we were responsible and if we said we needed to go then we actually needed to go and weren't fooling around. But I carried a note from mom anyhow. Oh, and a note that I was allowed to have Advil whenever I wanted.



Wow, your schools had some strict rules!



Personally, I'm happy for the kid that he had a chance to talk to his mom.

[wendybeth]

The newspaper today said the school is re-thinking the suspension. The kid admits he swore at the teacher, but only after she grabbed the phone and hung up on his mom. (The teacher says he didn't tell her his mom was on the phone). His mom called back and left a voice-mail scolding him for hanging up on her......

[€uroMeinke]

I think Mother and son should learn how to text message