Funny stuff, enjoy

[Name]

Some of the funniest stuff I read in awhile......... http://bash.org/?top

One of my favorites......

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

[CoasterMatt]

I think my favorite is this one

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

[Name]

I'm starting to tear up reading some of those..... too funny

[CoasterMatt]

Oh man... thank you so much for that link - these are hilarious :D

[SacTown Chronic]

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

[wendybeth]

Lol!!! This is great stuff!


******************
'<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?'
******************

The guy who replaced 'wand' with 'wang' in the Harry Potter excerpt was hilarious- puts a whole new spin on that story......

[Name]

love this one too......

Mike: give me a good hosting company tag line
Bleys: "We won't go down on you... unless you pay us extra."
Mike: thanks for your help :P
Bleys: no problem ;)

[wendybeth]

Lol!!! The BrittinySpears14 and BloodNinja exchange. To dirty to put up here, but funnier than hell!

[Name]

mmmmmmmmmm, my favourite RPG.....

<Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs
<kessel> RL is good
<Pizza|> whats rl ?
<kessel> Real Life
<Pizza|> link ?

[wendybeth]

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

[CoasterMatt]

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

[MerryPrankster]

Hey, wait a second, I think I remember this....

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

[Prudence]

Okay, this is probably only funny to me, but I'm studying for my contracts exam right now, including such fascinating concepts as counter-offers and offer-and-acceptance, and this just slays me at the moment:

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

[Ghoulish Delight]

<Tantalus|RO> No one can resist hot monkey sex
<Tovart> Except hot monkey females with a headache.

[wendybeth]

Okay, this is probably only funny to me, but I'm studying for my contracts exam right now, including such fascinating concepts as counter-offers and offer-and-acceptance, and this just slays me at the moment:

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

Are you kidding? That was the first one to make me laugh out loud! :snap:

[Motorboat Cruiser]

I unfortunately can't post any of the ones that have made me laugh the hardest. :)

These are great!

[wendybeth]

I unfortunately can't post any of the ones that have made me laugh the hardest. :)

These are great!

What he said.:D

[Motorboat Cruiser]

I wish I could though because the one about the penguin and the midget is killing me right now. :)

[SusieP.]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

I like this one! Duh!

[MickeyD]

I personally have no preference on PC vs. Mac, but this one cracks me up anyway.

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

[wendybeth]

Lol! I know- saw that and thought of KB.:D

[wendybeth]

For Lashbear:

#262417 (http://bash.org/?262417) + (http://bash.org/?le=168ec259e8e09110e2c77b0240889439&rox=262417)(4124)- (http://bash.org/?le=168ec259e8e09110e2c77b0240889439&sox=262417) [X] (http://bash.org/?le=168ec259e8e09110e2c77b0240889439&sux=262417)

<_kr4m3r> so many f***ing criminals, its bull****
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

[MickeyD]

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha


If I didn't live alone, I'd probably be yelling the same thing for someone to write my christian morality paper right about now. :evil: :blush:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

So funny, and such a clever idea - it's vaudeville in the 21st century.

I guess it's too borderline to post, but taking Harry Potter and replacing "wand" with "wang"...genius. :D

[SacTown Chronic]

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

:D

[Cadaverous Pallor]

<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> ****ING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the ****ing MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of ****ing 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the ****ing kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.

[Prudence]

I think this is my second favorite:

SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I’m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r

[SacTown Chronic]

<Moot> masturbatin time
<Moot> I'm livin dangerously
<Moot> I'm not gonan check to see if my mom is asleep yet

[SacTown Chronic]

<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds



LMAO!!!

[LSPoorEeyorick]

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a ****en impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I also loved the one with britneyspears and the spell-casting wizard cybering. There was something so oddly amusing about it.

[Morrigoon]

You know you're a geek when:

#5273 +(18941)- [X]

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

[Morrigoon]

Okay, I am totally DYING over the Harry Potter stuff!

[Morrigoon]

#349567 +(6026)- [X]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh ****!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...