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View Full Version : Now, this is a bad sentence (from a bad novel)


flippyshark
05-16-2005, 08:09 PM
Okay, so I am reading the third in a series of terrible novels known as the MEG series. (Giant megalodon sharks terrorize people. The publicity blurb sums it up nicely: Jurassic Shark)


Anyhow, author Steve Alten is not exactly Melville. (He's not even Peter Benchley, which is really saying something.) He cranks out wildly improbable storylines with great enthusiasm. I don't think he does much proofreading. I submit the following sentence, which I swear I am not making up. I think I can safely say that this is the worst sentence I have ever encountered in a novel published by a major house. (Actually, it's a sentence fragment! I include the sentence immediately preceding it for context.) Here goes:

"A woman in a scarlet skintight bodysuit approaches. Shoulder length brown hair, late twenties, dripping with attitude and nipples."

Now, THAT'S quality writing!

Kevy Baby
05-16-2005, 08:15 PM
Do the sharks eat corndogs?

And sorry - that line was just too classic not to steal.

wendybeth
05-16-2005, 08:16 PM
Lol! Drippy nipples....ewwwww.

Ghoulish Delight
05-16-2005, 08:20 PM
Great. Now I have Dali-esque visions of dripping nipples.

Kevy Baby
05-16-2005, 08:23 PM
Drippy nipples
In the wine
Make me happy
Make me feel fine

Drippy nipples
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

flippyshark
05-16-2005, 08:23 PM
Do the sharks eat corndogs?


Alas, no corn dogs thus far. The shark has eaten some sea lions, a whale shark and an already dead sea turtle, and narrowly missed a couple of people, but I'm only on page 75. (One character has died of a heart attack after seeing the 75 foot shark. :rolleyes: )

Not Afraid
05-16-2005, 08:33 PM
Maybe she should see her hairdresser to get those nipples out of her hair.


Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)

flippyshark
05-16-2005, 08:46 PM
Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)

(Hangs his head in shame) It's the sharks.

Not Afraid
05-16-2005, 08:53 PM
D'oh!

Matterhorn Fan
05-16-2005, 09:04 PM
At least he waited until it came out in paperback. Which is better than he did for The Trench. :rolleyes:

Cadaverous Pallor
05-17-2005, 09:58 AM
Bwahaha! Really makes me think that I should go for a writing career, even though I'm really afraid of it. Even I can write better than that. :D

scaeagles
05-17-2005, 10:07 AM
Sactown told me he read the same thing in Penthouse Letters.......

Stan4dSteph
05-17-2005, 01:59 PM
"Pardon me madam, I do believe your nipples are dripping."

Gn2Dlnd
05-17-2005, 02:47 PM
Nipples ahoy! :TOOT!: