God

[NirvanaMan]

Your God is dead.

[BarTopDancer]

God is in the T.V.

[Name]

TV is god

[wendybeth]

No, TiVo is.

[mamabot]

God Bless TiVo.

[dsnylndmom]

I want to Tivo! :(

[libraryvixen]

I want a SMART fella this time around.

[mamabot]

My fella is getting smarter.

[Name]

going back to the OP.....
And no one cares,
If there is a hell,
You'll see me there.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

This entire thread
Has delighted every
Inch of my thick thighs

[Tref]

When I was younger my parents ordered me a series of children's books from the Reader's Digest. The novelty of this series was that each book included my name within the pages of the text. The first book I received, was a children's illustrated version of the Bible -- it said things like, And Jesus died for your sins ... George of Barrett Elementary School! I took it all very much to heart. I felt so guilty. And why God picking on me personally? Why wasn't my sister mentioned? Where was her name? What did I do? As far as I knew, I was in all the versions of the Bible. When we would go to church on Sunday I was convinced I was some sort of minor Biblical celebrity (Psst, there's that kid what is mentioned in the Good Book! I hope he sits near us!)

As the song goes, Jesus loves me this I know, cause the Bible tells me so -- personally!

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

When I was younger my parents ordered me a series of children's books from the Reader's Digest. The novelty of this series was that each book included my name within the pages of the text. The first book I received, was a children's illustrated version of the Bible -- it said things like, And Jesus died for your sins ... George of Barrett Elementary School! I took it all very much to heart. I felt so guilty. And why God picking on me personally? Why wasn't my sister mentioned? Where was her name? What did I do? As far as I knew, I was in all the versions of the Bible. When we would go to church on Sunday I was convinced I was some sort of minor Biblical celebrity (Psst, there's that kid what is mentioned in the Good Book! I hope he sits near us!)

As the song goes, Jesus loves me this I know, cause the Bible tells me so -- personally!

Okay, this is one of the funniest things I have *ever* read.

You were singled OUT? Really? How cruel! How funny! It's almost too funny to believe.

Jesus was beaten and nailed to a cross. It was brutal and it was painful and it was ALL for YOU Tref. All for you.

Hopefully one of the religious books I would have read if *I'd* been given this bizarre gift would have read, "And one of the knights Templar, Audra Rosemary...." It'd be cool to be a Templar, assuming I were to never be run through with a sword, 'cause I hear that's painful.

[Gemini Cricket]

Everytime I read the title to this thread, I hear Napoleon Dynamite saying it for me.
"God!"
:D

[Tref]

It's almost too funny to believe.


Wise choice.

[FEJ]

Good Orderly Direction

[tigertail777]

I have a hang up with the whole religion thing.

I was force fed religion till I wanted to throw up. I went to a religious school and they wouldnt let me eat my lunch I myself brought from home until I had memorized the memory verses for that day. Well my memory has never been the greatest, so sometimes I didnt get to eat lunch until almost time to go home. I had a lot of crazy teachers and stuff too; one would open this huge cabinent in our class and listen to it creak and then exclaim "my! isnt that relaxing?"

Later I went to yet another christian school on the insistance of my mother who I am sure thought I was going to go to hell (and I am sure still thinks it in the back of her mind). We couldnt afford to pay for the full tuition, so I had to stay after school and do chores for the school. They made me do the strangest things: scraping tape labels off old tapes so they could reuse them over and over for the bible broadcasts they sold in the little biblical store they ran. There was a christian comic book I had to put price tags on... I accidentally put one over the face of Jesus on the cover and they wigged out.

All of that kinda stuff and more hasnt sat right with me since. I really get verbal when people try to force religion on me because of all this crap that happened when I was younger. I do beleive in God, but am unsure what kind of God he may be to allow his little fan clubs to run amok like this. For those that beleive in christianity I am not trying to be insulting, but please bear in mind when you preach the good word to tread softly dont stick it down peoples throats.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Ha ha, Eliza got hooked by Tref. :D