Deep Thoughts

[MickeyLumbo]

This is where your deep thoughts can be released... you know the ones you have in the shower or stuck in traffic on the 405.




One good thing about Hell at least, is that you can probably pee wherever you want to.

[MickeyLumbo]

I got a dog and named him "Stay".
Now, I go "Come here, Stay!".
After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

[MickeyLumbo]

There are three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.

[scaeagles]

Life is a geometric postulate. You cannot prove it, but it is understood to be true.

[Kevy Baby]

There are actually 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can speak binary and those who can't.

[Kevy Baby]

Or there are two kinds of people in this world: those who break everybody into two lists and those who don't.

[Kevy Baby]

And a couple of gems from Steven Wright;

Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Everything is going to be okay.

[Tref]

Woman ... give 'em inch and they'll mock you and call you, Little man!

[Not Afraid]

Everybody has a little dick compared to John Holmes.

[CoasterMatt]

My pants are in the other room, and I'm not sure who's wearing them

[Kevy Baby]

Linda Lovelace


Oh... deep THOUGHTS.

Never mind

[Betty]

Do you see color the way I see color? What if what I see as red, you see as yellow. And is that why some people can't seem to wear clothes that match?

Oh - and what shall we do with a drunken sailor?

[SacTown Chronic]

I love the smell of tomatos growing on the vine.

[Prudence]

Everybody has a little dick compared to John Holmes.

Mine's huge. It's in a box in the night stand.

[€uroMeinke]

All I want is a corn dog

[Not Afraid]

It's all about the Boob.

[Ghoulish Delight]

The only person I know exists is me. And even then, I'm not entirely convinced.

[MickeyLumbo]

Friends are like condoms: they protect you when things get hard.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

The toilet is like, the greatest invention ever.

Think about it! Every single day we create these vile wastes. They stink and are unhealthy. What are we to do with this stuff?

Well, just put it in the magic bowl, press the lever, and BAM, it's gone. Gone! You don't have to smell it or look at it or store it, it's just gone.

Yeah, I know, processing plants, dumps into the rivers, etc. Someone has to deal with it. But even so, when I flush that toilet, I get a big stupid grin on my face because technology is the savior of the human race.

Especially after Mexican night.

[blueerica]

We're all really just props in each others' lives.

Or are we?

And I like the smell of tomatoes ripening on the vine, too. And that of fresh earth. Mmmm, it's rather intoxicating.

And yes, everything's going to be okay. It's all the way it's supposed to be. (Even if I don't like it. And I don't! hehehe :p )

[Ghoulish Delight]

If when you're sick, you're an invalid, when you get better have you been validated?

Can one be gruntled?

Why is the Jack Daniels distillery in a dry county?

A tortise challenges the great Achilles to a race. Achilles, knowing he can go exactly 10 times as fast as the tortise, generously gives the tortise a 1000 meter head start. The race begins. By the time Achilles has covered the first 1000 meters, the tortise, of course, remains in the lead, having moved 100 meters. By the time Achilles covers those 100 meters, the tortise has sprinted with all his tortisely might another 10 meters to retain the lead. Ten meters later for Achilles, and the tortise is still 1 meter ahead. 1 meter for Mr. Indestructable, 1/10 of a meter behind our hero the tortise. Will Achilles ever catch up?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Will Achilles ever catch up?Catch up in time to win an x meter race or catch up ever? If the latter, yes.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Catch up in time to win an x meter race or catch up ever? If the latter, yes.But how, asks Zeno? For every distance X Achilles covers, the tortise moves ahead by X/10 meters.

Consider this similar conundrum:

Consider a lamp, with a switch. Hit the switch once, it turns it on. Hit it again, it turns it off. Let us imagine there is a being with supernatural powers who likes to play with this lamp as follows. First, he turns it on. At the end of one minute, he turns it off. At the end of half a minute, he turns it on again. At the end of a quarter of a minute, he turns it off. In one eighth of a minute, he turns it on again. And so on, hitting the switch each time after waiting exactly one-half the time he waited before hitting it the last time. A simple series evaluation shows that if you add up all of the intervals on into infinity, this will actually continue for precisely two seconds.

So, at the end of 2 seconds, is the lamp on or off?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Deep thought for the moment:

I've got to alter my view of the world.

[Kevy Baby]

Will Achilles ever catch up?Yes he will. At a hare* over 1,111.111 meters. I had to brush up on my algebra to do this. Okay, I cheated and found a web site to help me solve. But I DID come up with the formula on my own. Formula wasn't perfect, but it did help me find the correct answer (cuz I knew that Achilles would catch the tortoise).

My thinking was that x would equal the point where Achilles would catch the tortoise (the break-even point if you will). so I came up with the formula:

10x = x + 1000

And then I took this formula to an Algebra web site (http://www.algebrahelp.com/calculators/equation/) and plugged my formula in. It gave me this:

Simplifying
10x = x + 1000

Reorder the terms:
10x = 1000 + x

Solving
10x = 1000 + x

Solving for variable 'x'.

Move all terms containing x to the left, all other terms to the right.

Add '-1x' to each side of the equation.
10x + -1x = 1000 + x + -1x

Combine like terms: 10x + -1x = 9x
9x = 1000 + x + -1x

Combine like terms: x + -1x = 0
9x = 1000 + 0
9x = 1000

Divide each side by '9'.
x = 111.1111111

Simplifying
x = 111.1111111I knew that the answer was not 111.1111+ meters. (presumably the "1"s after the decimal point repeat ad infinitum, but I don't know how to put the bar over it like I could when I was handwriting, so just imagine it is there.) But logic dictated that it would be 1,111.1111 meters (or 111.1111 meters past the effective start point for the tortoise when Achilles started). Granted, I would still get a failing grade in algebra, but I knew the answer was correct.

Basic logic also dictates that Achilles would of course catch the tortoise. The relationship in their speeds is not exponential, it is linear. Both speeds are (presumably) constant, so of course Achilles would catch the tortoise.
_____________________

Well, there's a half hour of my life I'll never get back. :geek:

[MickeyLumbo]

I was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they came closer... then it hit me:rolleyes:

[Not Afraid]

You don't always HAVE to respond.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

One hippopotami cannot get on a bus, because one hippopotami is too hippopotamus.

A paranoia is a bunch of mental blocks.

Has it ever occurred to you that the plural of "half" is "whole"?

What is half a pair of scissors... a single sciz?


Allan Sherman was too damn funny!

[Name]

Consider a lamp, with a switch. Hit the switch once, it turns it on. Hit it again, it turns it off. Let us imagine there is a being with supernatural powers who likes to play with this lamp as follows. First, he turns it on. At the end of one minute, he turns it off. At the end of half a minute, he turns it on again. At the end of a quarter of a minute, he turns it off. In one eighth of a minute, he turns it on again. And so on, hitting the switch each time after waiting exactly one-half the time he waited before hitting it the last time. A simple series evaluation shows that if you add up all of the intervals on into infinity, this will actually continue for precisely two seconds.

So, at the end of 2 seconds, is the lamp on or off?
Yes

[MickeyLumbo]

Sex between 2 men can be wonderful—
provided you get between the right 2 men:evil:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Sex between 2 men can be wonderful—
provided you get between the right 2 men:evil: Bwahaha! I'm with you on that one :evil:

[AllyOops!]

Oh - and what shall we do with a drunken sailor?

Shave his belly with a rusty razor! :D

Please don't ask why I know that sea shanty by heart. :( ;) :p

[DisneyDaniel]

Many Uses for Corn

Corn was an important part of the diet of many Indian groups. They also used all parts of the corn plant. The husks could be braided and woven to make masks, moccasins, sleeping mats, baskets or cornhusk dolls. Corncobs could be used for fuel, for game darts or for ceremonial use.

There are many uses for corn today as well. Just as Indians depended on corn as a major part of their diet it would be difficult for any American today to live without corn. Fabrics used to make your clothing are strengthened by cornstarch. The chickens that laid the eggs you had for breakfast were fed corn. Many of the soft drinks you enjoy are sweetened with corn syrup.

The textbooks you study from and the books you check out of the library are bound with cornstarch. The ink used to print them contains corn oil. Ethanol is made from corn. The car that carries you to and from school may be powered by fuel containing ethanol. Corn is also used in such products as glue, shoe polish, aspirin, ink, marshmallows, ice cream and cosmetics. New ways of using corn are being developed every day. Our only limitation is our own imagination.

This was written by Karl Backus, a very talented and funny actor I know.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

MASECA!

[DisneyDaniel]

MASECA!
Hahahaha!!! LOL! Thanks for the good laugh! That response deserves a helping to at least a dozen tortillas at the Mission Tortilla Factory in Disney's California Adventure. :D

[Morrigoon]

But how, asks Zeno? For every distance X Achilles covers, the tortise moves ahead by X/10 meters.

Consider this similar conundrum:

Consider a lamp, with a switch. Hit the switch once, it turns it on. Hit it again, it turns it off. Let us imagine there is a being with supernatural powers who likes to play with this lamp as follows. First, he turns it on. At the end of one minute, he turns it off. At the end of half a minute, he turns it on again. At the end of a quarter of a minute, he turns it off. In one eighth of a minute, he turns it on again. And so on, hitting the switch each time after waiting exactly one-half the time he waited before hitting it the last time. A simple series evaluation shows that if you add up all of the intervals on into infinity, this will actually continue for precisely two seconds.

So, at the end of 2 seconds, is the lamp on or off?

Yes.

[Morrigoon]

Aww crap, I just realized Name beat me to it :(

[MickeyLumbo]

Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

[MickeyLumbo]

When you are in deep trouble,
say nothing and try to look inconspicuous.



http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y97/MickeyLumbo/Blending.jpg (http://photobucket.com/albums/y97/MickeyLumbo/?)

[Motorboat Cruiser]

"You must spread some Mojo around before giving it to MickeyLumbo again."

[Cadaverous Pallor]

"You must spread some Mojo around before giving it to MickeyLumbo again."That's deep, MBC. ;)

My deep thought of the day:

Someone has to be the caretaker, the adult, the boss. In some relationships it's always one person doing that job, but eventually that person gets burned out. In the best relationships, each person takes turns being the party pooper.

Why can't both be the adult all of the time? Because then no one would have ANY spontaneous, out-of-the-ordinary, risky, or just plain lazy fun.

And of course you can't both play the kid all the time either.

[Angie]

No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.

-Michael J. Trent

[CoasterMatt]

My glasses hate me... now instead of getting a bitchin' tattoo on Friday, I'm getting new glasses today :mad:

[Kevy Baby]

Bob

[mistyisjafo]

No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.

-Michael J. Trent


HILARIOUS!!!

[DisneyDaniel]

Bob
What about Bob? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103241/)

[DisneyDaniel]

I saw this posted at the cash register/counter of a local retail store:

I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.