Nephythys
01-19-2005, 04:11 PM
Every once in a rare while, I find something that is so assinine that I have to share.
To wit: For those of you that have listened to me bitch around the christmas season, I have decided to pick up an iPod, as much as I hate apple products, these new little MP3 players are slick and pretty useful. That and I like new gadgets.
I was going to have to wait for a few months to save up for the model I wanted until they came out with this slick little bad boy:
Behold, the iPod Shuffle.
Until that came out, the cheapest iPod I could get was about $300. Well, now I can get this little toy for $100. Nifty.
So I read the specs, I know for a third of the price, I'm going to be getting a third of the product, but still, I want to hedge my bets, make sure I'm gonna get what I pay for.
It's pretty cool from what I read. Holds a touch less than 1000 minutes of music. (See disclaimer 1 at the bottom of the page.) Rechargeable batteries. Alright. Good times. About as big as a pack of gum. (Note the comparision picture, and disclaimer 2 ad the bottom of the page... wait a sec...)
"Do not eat iPod Shuffle."
You know, I honestly was expecting to see a little disclaimer about the gum sizes or something, but do not eat? Isn't that a bit silly?
Then I thought about it, and I wept.
Is it just me, or has darwinism faded so much in this world, that we must now warn people not to chow down on their electronics because it was shown next to a pack of gum?
Fortunately for my sanity, the online communities seem to think Apple put this down at the bottom to make their product more memorable to geeks who notice it, like myself. At the same time, I remember working as a volunteer for a friend's computer shop, and seeing the ambient intelligence of most people who came in with an beat-up iMac. (No offence to the few of you out there who might actually know how to effectively use OSX.) On top of that, we live in a society where coffee shops and fast food restaurants have to make absolutely sure we're aware that that drink that we ordered hot, is in fact hot. Or else some moron's going to make a mint off of you when they burn themselves on that drink which is in fact hot. Like they ordered it.
Take a second to process that before you go on.
So, just wondering how assinine we could get with this, I looked up more warning labels on google, I came up with:
A hairdryer that warned you not to try to dry your hair in your sleep.
An iron that makes sure you've taken off the clothes you plan to iron before you start to iron them.
A bag of peanuts that reiterates the point that the product DOES contain nuts.
The kicker, a child's Superman costume that just gives a friendly note that the kid won't be able to fly if he puts the costume on.
I understand it's kind of cruel for me to mention survival of the fittest in these situations, but we're rapidly approaching a point where my seed will be too good for this world, and no one wants that. (By the by, did I mention I'm a narcisistic prick?) Maybe it's just the fact that I'm at work. Maybe my tolerance is just whittled down to nothing due to people who can't find the "Any" key, as well as people who wonder why their "foot pedal" isn't working. (Thank you, Gooey.)
To conclude, don't do your hair in your sleep. Don't mourn for little Timmy's loss. Thanks to him, all the other little scamps that want to be Superman will know not to actually try to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
...and for the love of God. Don't eat your iPod. Especially since I still want one, and it's a waste.
(stolen from the CO Rogue boards- because TJ is too funny not to share)
To wit: For those of you that have listened to me bitch around the christmas season, I have decided to pick up an iPod, as much as I hate apple products, these new little MP3 players are slick and pretty useful. That and I like new gadgets.
I was going to have to wait for a few months to save up for the model I wanted until they came out with this slick little bad boy:
Behold, the iPod Shuffle.
Until that came out, the cheapest iPod I could get was about $300. Well, now I can get this little toy for $100. Nifty.
So I read the specs, I know for a third of the price, I'm going to be getting a third of the product, but still, I want to hedge my bets, make sure I'm gonna get what I pay for.
It's pretty cool from what I read. Holds a touch less than 1000 minutes of music. (See disclaimer 1 at the bottom of the page.) Rechargeable batteries. Alright. Good times. About as big as a pack of gum. (Note the comparision picture, and disclaimer 2 ad the bottom of the page... wait a sec...)
"Do not eat iPod Shuffle."
You know, I honestly was expecting to see a little disclaimer about the gum sizes or something, but do not eat? Isn't that a bit silly?
Then I thought about it, and I wept.
Is it just me, or has darwinism faded so much in this world, that we must now warn people not to chow down on their electronics because it was shown next to a pack of gum?
Fortunately for my sanity, the online communities seem to think Apple put this down at the bottom to make their product more memorable to geeks who notice it, like myself. At the same time, I remember working as a volunteer for a friend's computer shop, and seeing the ambient intelligence of most people who came in with an beat-up iMac. (No offence to the few of you out there who might actually know how to effectively use OSX.) On top of that, we live in a society where coffee shops and fast food restaurants have to make absolutely sure we're aware that that drink that we ordered hot, is in fact hot. Or else some moron's going to make a mint off of you when they burn themselves on that drink which is in fact hot. Like they ordered it.
Take a second to process that before you go on.
So, just wondering how assinine we could get with this, I looked up more warning labels on google, I came up with:
A hairdryer that warned you not to try to dry your hair in your sleep.
An iron that makes sure you've taken off the clothes you plan to iron before you start to iron them.
A bag of peanuts that reiterates the point that the product DOES contain nuts.
The kicker, a child's Superman costume that just gives a friendly note that the kid won't be able to fly if he puts the costume on.
I understand it's kind of cruel for me to mention survival of the fittest in these situations, but we're rapidly approaching a point where my seed will be too good for this world, and no one wants that. (By the by, did I mention I'm a narcisistic prick?) Maybe it's just the fact that I'm at work. Maybe my tolerance is just whittled down to nothing due to people who can't find the "Any" key, as well as people who wonder why their "foot pedal" isn't working. (Thank you, Gooey.)
To conclude, don't do your hair in your sleep. Don't mourn for little Timmy's loss. Thanks to him, all the other little scamps that want to be Superman will know not to actually try to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
...and for the love of God. Don't eat your iPod. Especially since I still want one, and it's a waste.
(stolen from the CO Rogue boards- because TJ is too funny not to share)