Erica's Musing of the Day - Being Understood

[blueerica]

I realize that I am short on time between classes, but I figured I'd bring it up for discussion here: The importance of feeling like you were understood.

I don't believe that I require agreement out of anyone, but a constant pinpoint of frustration for me comes out of feeling like I wasn't understood. Often, I will drive myself mentally around and around in circles in a vain attempt of making the world understand, often deflating my self through the process.

I often have delusions of something-or-another that the world would be a better place if we all understood one another, not meaning that we had to agree, but that we could agree that we disagreed, and that it really wasn't a big deal after all; maybe even have a laugh and a couple of beers over it. That we could see where the other person came from, and didn't require all the irrationality of swaying someone to our side. Just to be understood.

I feel like my theme song for today, nay, this weekend, might be that Animals song...

I'm just a soul who's intentions are gooooood!
OH LORD! Please don't let me be misunderstood

[Ghoulish Delight]

I don't believe that I require agreement out of anyone, but a constant pinpoint of frustration for me comes out of feeling like I wasn't understood. I'm right there with you. Heck, 99% of arguments that CP and I have (which aren't many to begin) boil down not to the fact that we disagree, but that CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.

[innerSpaceman]

Understanding is the booby-prize.


(That's a classic EST aphorism).



Being grokked is far more laudible, and I heartily agree with the sentiment that we the world would be a better place if we all just grokked "the other" and, if necessary, simply agreed to disagree ... having that life-celebratory beer instead the millionth bloody war.

[Prudence]

...CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.

BT and I do this all the time, only it's me trying to do the clarifying. He thinks I'm insane and I'm trying vainly to articulate some nuance that I find super important.

And I started singing the Animals song in my head as soon as I saw the thread title.

[scaeagles]

I don't understand myself most of the time, so I typically just smile and nod to convince whomever is talking that I am interested and actually get it.

[blueerica]

Thank god I'm not the only neurotic mess. ;)

I feel like I just make things worse, and paint a picture of myself that in some respects isn't true. This must be my Type A side surfacing... When will I learn to accept that some people just aren't gonna get it, and it isn't my job to make sure they do. I'll give myself ulcers this way!

NEUROSIS 4 lyfe!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I'm right there with you. Heck, 99% of arguments that CP and I have (which aren't many to begin) boil down not to the fact that we disagree, but that CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.And then I'm like "I get it!" and he's like "Don't interrupt me!" and I'm like "I'm sick of the explanation!" and he's like "You don't understand!" and I'm like "Yes, I do!" and we yell a lot.

And then we have make-up sex.

[blueerica]

See, I don't get the make up sex part...

BLAH! :rolleyes:

[scaeagles]

He knows that make-up sex is coming, so he sets you up to fight about it.

IT'S OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!

[blueerica]

Nice observation, Sca...

Here's a toaster.

[Ghoulish Delight]

He knows that make-up sex is coming, so he sets you up to fight about it.

IT'S OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!No, you don't understand!!!

[Not Afraid]

So, am I to understand that GD now wants to have make-up sex with Leo?

[wendybeth]

No, you don't understand!!!
Are you trying to pick up on Scaeagles?

Lol! Sorry, NA- great minds, and all that...

[€uroMeinke]

I'm with those challenged to understand myself most of the time, before I can worry about others understanding me. I tend to question myself more than I probably ought to. I guess that translates into fewer arguments, but then I suppose that means less make-up sex.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

So, am I to understand that GD now wants to have make-up sex with Leo?

I don't think it can be read any other way. Good for them for finally getting a handle on their feelings for each other. For CP, ... well ... not so good, I guess.


:D

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I can rarely get our clients to understand anything. But I'd truly rather not sleep with any of them.

[Kevy Baby]

I'm sorry Erica... did you say something?

[CoasterMatt]

I don't get it

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I don't think it can be read any other way. Good for them for finally getting a handle on their feelings for each other. For CP, ... well ... not so good, I guess. Who says? Then I get to fight with both of them...

[innerSpaceman]

I get the distinct impression that poor Erica's been misunderstood again.

[CoasterMatt]

So what are you trying to say?

[Ghoulish Delight]

I don't think it can be read any other way. Good for them for finally getting a handle on their feelings for each other. For CP, ... well ... not so good, I guess.


:DDamnit, now everyone doesn't understand. Screw you all!

[wendybeth]

Damnit, now everyone doesn't understand. Screw you all!

Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?;)

In all fairness, Scaeagles was first in line for the M.U.S. Does this mean he still gets a toaster?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Note to self: Get into heated arguments with GD... :evil:

[Not Afraid]

You know, I just go right to the sex. Forget the argument part. It takes too much time.

[wendybeth]

You know, I just go right to the sex. Forget the argument part. It takes too much time.

With GD?:eek:

[Not Afraid]

No, sorry, but GD isn't on the "list". ;)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Maybe not your list....

[alphabassettgrrl]

I hate it when I'm misunderstood. Hubby and I have determined we just don't speak the same version of English. My mom and I had the same difficulty- saying the same thing, in different ways, and neither can understand the other.