Gemini Cricket
05-05-2006, 08:49 AM
moleHILL MOUntain (A mystery)
by: GC
Part 3
--------------------------
May 5, 2006
To the Kids at
The Lounge of Tomorrow
The Innernet, USA
Good Morning Everyone,
Well, you missed it, kittens. The other day was Mole Hill Mountain’s May Day Celebration and Dessert Cavalcade. It happens every year on the first of May. Mayor (and I always do air quotes around that title, to Yvonne’s chagrin) Carstens gave everyone the day off that day since it did not fall on a weekend day. The Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo did stay open, I’ll have you realize, because “Picky Pickens’ B&B and WG is where people on holiday holiday”.
Has anyone this side of our state seen as many atrocious edibles as I saw this past May Day? The answer is no. Veranda Brafton (the poor soul wore the same Lane Bryant dress she wore to last year’s Mole Hill Mountain May Day Celebration and Dessert Cavalcade) brought her Marshmallow Triangles again. Talk about as much creativity as a 1040 tax form. Instead of squares, she cuts them into little triangles! It’s the same recipe that you find on the back of a Smacky’s Rice Krispeeze Cereal Box. I confirmed that at Picky’s store the other day. That’s when I witnessed Yvonne Lungriese-Carstens having a terrible fight with jack-o-lantern smile Randa Clamp. Apparently, Randa placed a gallon of milk on top of the Hallmark ornament Yvonne was trying to buy. It was a limited edition Christmas ornament of Shelly Winters from ‘Poseidon Adventure’. If you press the button under her arm, she does the breast stroke. Only 100 in existence in the entire world and Randa smashed it. Yvonne accused her of doing it on purpose and threatened to have Randa fired. Of course, Picky would never fire Randa, he likes her… goodness knows why. Randa was in tears, the poor dear.
Oh, did I tell you what my good friend, Calliope Shewalters, brought? You’ll love this, my dear dumplings… Calliope made her famous Mother’s Day Pop Tart Village. Yes. That makes me as giddy as a cheerleader sitting on a washing machine. She takes an ordinary flat surface, several hundred Pop Tarts, frosting, marshmallow fluff, gum drops and Red Hots and constructs an entire town with them. Each house represents a mother that resides in Mole Hill Mountain. My house was made with Strawberry Pop Tarts. Very exciting. Veranda Brafton’s home was constructed with Chocolate Fudge Tarts. Well, the Braftons are poor, you know.
Kiss-n-tell Lolly “Jugs” McDuggan (how dare she show her face in town, much less the town square) brought these little treats that were wrapped in black paper tied with hot pink ribbon. I refused to touch them, you know, a woman of my stature… But Calliope did, she said they were truffles filled with a crème of some sort. I love Lolly to death but if someone told me they were filled with semen, I wouldn’t be colored surprised at all. All the men in town love Lolly’s treats, in more ways than one. Rumor has it that she slept with our good old mayor, but I haven’t juiced a confession out of anyone yet.
I brought the highlight of the Dessert Cavalcade: my one-of-a-kind Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises. The secret is the hidden layer of Twizzlers that I insert into the brownies after they’re done baking. Don’t tell anyone, it’s hush hush.
Later that day, the awards were given. My Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises won First Place, of course. I mean the event is sponsored by Picky Pickens' Grocery and Feed Store on Main Street after all. Second place went to Erica Buell’s cat shaped carob treats for dogs. Picky ate four of them until he realized that they were dog’s treats. So embarrassing. Old Man Mercer’s German Shepherd, Claus, who loved Erica’s treats, had a terrible fit trying to get into the gardener’s shed in the town square park all that day. Which is fine with me, it keeps him off of people’s legs. I wish the same could be said about his owner.
Lapping up all the attention that she could, Yvonne mentioned the package that arrived in the mail several times to whoever would listen. Of course, she said can’t tell anyone any of the details while the investigation was going on. But ever since that day, she’s been a changed woman. But not for the reasons you think, kittens.
Early the next morning, I woke up and headed over to see our town sheriff. He has a little office near the VFW. He lives in his office and sleeps in one of his cells. Sheriff Hornsby Walkencrag is his name. If I had a name like that, I’d want to be locked up too. Away from ridicule, I kid you not.
Despite my prodding, I couldn’t get a thing out of Hornsby. Quite distressing actually, it makes a girl feel like she’s losing the ruffle in her lace…
After approving the cast and the program content of the Memorial Day Night of One Act Plays with the drama teacher at the Mole Hill Mountain Community College, I overheard an interesting conversation in the costume room. It seems that a number of items were stolen from the Drama Department. Items that were missing: two masks from last year’s performance of “Oedipus Rex”, a couple of props from a play called “The Bacchae” and a pair of handcuffs.
Never in my life have I been so drool laden with the goings on of our little town.
Did you ever hear of such shenanigans for one little town?
You’d think that after all these years a woman like me would learn to keep her nose out of other people’s affairs. But now I see that if I do just that, a murderer might never be caught. Not to mention that this maniac is out there somewhere…
Lurid details, I’m sure, are to come. I’ll post more as I know more.
Eulele does have one more piece of the puzzle to confide in you all about. It seems that the Drama Department at the community college is not only missing certain items here and there. It seems that a newly hired professor by the name of Andy Lee has not been to work for several weeks. He was hired to finish up the year and then teach summer courses. But I disagree that this man had cold feet about his new position and just left this town. Not only this, but this man who I have not had more than a few words with, was seen leaving the Bait Shop by my son Rory. Not unusual, you say? It is if he was spotted leaving at midnight one night.
Ever by the book, Sheriff Hornsby won’t confirm my suspicions. But the more I find out, the more you’ll know.
?Sincerely,
Mrs. Eulele Pickens
Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo
MoleHill Mountain
PS: Here’s the recipe for my brownies. Enjoy.
Eulele Pickens’ One-of-a-Kind Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
2 tablespoons water
3 bars of Nestle Toll HouseUnsweetened Chocolate Baking Bars (broken into pieces)
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)
24 Twizzlers licorice strips
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease 13x9-inch baking pan.
Microwave sugar, butter and water in a large microwave-safe bowl on HIGH (100%) power for 4 to 5 minutes or until mixture bubbles, stirring once. Remove from heat. Add baking bars; stir until melted.
Stir in eggs one at a time until incorporated. Stir in vanilla extract. Add flour, baking soda and salt; stir well. Stir in nuts. Pour into prepared baking pan.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out slightly sticky. Remove to wire rack to cool completely.
After cooling, slice entire pan of brownies into two layers. Cut Twizzlers in half down the center. Lay the split licorice on top of bottom layer like you would pasta strips for lasagna. Cover with top layer.
Cut and serve.
If they come out wrong, it's most likely your fault.
by: GC
Part 3
--------------------------
May 5, 2006
To the Kids at
The Lounge of Tomorrow
The Innernet, USA
Good Morning Everyone,
Well, you missed it, kittens. The other day was Mole Hill Mountain’s May Day Celebration and Dessert Cavalcade. It happens every year on the first of May. Mayor (and I always do air quotes around that title, to Yvonne’s chagrin) Carstens gave everyone the day off that day since it did not fall on a weekend day. The Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo did stay open, I’ll have you realize, because “Picky Pickens’ B&B and WG is where people on holiday holiday”.
Has anyone this side of our state seen as many atrocious edibles as I saw this past May Day? The answer is no. Veranda Brafton (the poor soul wore the same Lane Bryant dress she wore to last year’s Mole Hill Mountain May Day Celebration and Dessert Cavalcade) brought her Marshmallow Triangles again. Talk about as much creativity as a 1040 tax form. Instead of squares, she cuts them into little triangles! It’s the same recipe that you find on the back of a Smacky’s Rice Krispeeze Cereal Box. I confirmed that at Picky’s store the other day. That’s when I witnessed Yvonne Lungriese-Carstens having a terrible fight with jack-o-lantern smile Randa Clamp. Apparently, Randa placed a gallon of milk on top of the Hallmark ornament Yvonne was trying to buy. It was a limited edition Christmas ornament of Shelly Winters from ‘Poseidon Adventure’. If you press the button under her arm, she does the breast stroke. Only 100 in existence in the entire world and Randa smashed it. Yvonne accused her of doing it on purpose and threatened to have Randa fired. Of course, Picky would never fire Randa, he likes her… goodness knows why. Randa was in tears, the poor dear.
Oh, did I tell you what my good friend, Calliope Shewalters, brought? You’ll love this, my dear dumplings… Calliope made her famous Mother’s Day Pop Tart Village. Yes. That makes me as giddy as a cheerleader sitting on a washing machine. She takes an ordinary flat surface, several hundred Pop Tarts, frosting, marshmallow fluff, gum drops and Red Hots and constructs an entire town with them. Each house represents a mother that resides in Mole Hill Mountain. My house was made with Strawberry Pop Tarts. Very exciting. Veranda Brafton’s home was constructed with Chocolate Fudge Tarts. Well, the Braftons are poor, you know.
Kiss-n-tell Lolly “Jugs” McDuggan (how dare she show her face in town, much less the town square) brought these little treats that were wrapped in black paper tied with hot pink ribbon. I refused to touch them, you know, a woman of my stature… But Calliope did, she said they were truffles filled with a crème of some sort. I love Lolly to death but if someone told me they were filled with semen, I wouldn’t be colored surprised at all. All the men in town love Lolly’s treats, in more ways than one. Rumor has it that she slept with our good old mayor, but I haven’t juiced a confession out of anyone yet.
I brought the highlight of the Dessert Cavalcade: my one-of-a-kind Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises. The secret is the hidden layer of Twizzlers that I insert into the brownies after they’re done baking. Don’t tell anyone, it’s hush hush.
Later that day, the awards were given. My Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises won First Place, of course. I mean the event is sponsored by Picky Pickens' Grocery and Feed Store on Main Street after all. Second place went to Erica Buell’s cat shaped carob treats for dogs. Picky ate four of them until he realized that they were dog’s treats. So embarrassing. Old Man Mercer’s German Shepherd, Claus, who loved Erica’s treats, had a terrible fit trying to get into the gardener’s shed in the town square park all that day. Which is fine with me, it keeps him off of people’s legs. I wish the same could be said about his owner.
Lapping up all the attention that she could, Yvonne mentioned the package that arrived in the mail several times to whoever would listen. Of course, she said can’t tell anyone any of the details while the investigation was going on. But ever since that day, she’s been a changed woman. But not for the reasons you think, kittens.
Early the next morning, I woke up and headed over to see our town sheriff. He has a little office near the VFW. He lives in his office and sleeps in one of his cells. Sheriff Hornsby Walkencrag is his name. If I had a name like that, I’d want to be locked up too. Away from ridicule, I kid you not.
Despite my prodding, I couldn’t get a thing out of Hornsby. Quite distressing actually, it makes a girl feel like she’s losing the ruffle in her lace…
After approving the cast and the program content of the Memorial Day Night of One Act Plays with the drama teacher at the Mole Hill Mountain Community College, I overheard an interesting conversation in the costume room. It seems that a number of items were stolen from the Drama Department. Items that were missing: two masks from last year’s performance of “Oedipus Rex”, a couple of props from a play called “The Bacchae” and a pair of handcuffs.
Never in my life have I been so drool laden with the goings on of our little town.
Did you ever hear of such shenanigans for one little town?
You’d think that after all these years a woman like me would learn to keep her nose out of other people’s affairs. But now I see that if I do just that, a murderer might never be caught. Not to mention that this maniac is out there somewhere…
Lurid details, I’m sure, are to come. I’ll post more as I know more.
Eulele does have one more piece of the puzzle to confide in you all about. It seems that the Drama Department at the community college is not only missing certain items here and there. It seems that a newly hired professor by the name of Andy Lee has not been to work for several weeks. He was hired to finish up the year and then teach summer courses. But I disagree that this man had cold feet about his new position and just left this town. Not only this, but this man who I have not had more than a few words with, was seen leaving the Bait Shop by my son Rory. Not unusual, you say? It is if he was spotted leaving at midnight one night.
Ever by the book, Sheriff Hornsby won’t confirm my suspicions. But the more I find out, the more you’ll know.
?Sincerely,
Mrs. Eulele Pickens
Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo
MoleHill Mountain
PS: Here’s the recipe for my brownies. Enjoy.
Eulele Pickens’ One-of-a-Kind Brownie Chewy Chunk Surprises
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
2 tablespoons water
3 bars of Nestle Toll HouseUnsweetened Chocolate Baking Bars (broken into pieces)
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)
24 Twizzlers licorice strips
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease 13x9-inch baking pan.
Microwave sugar, butter and water in a large microwave-safe bowl on HIGH (100%) power for 4 to 5 minutes or until mixture bubbles, stirring once. Remove from heat. Add baking bars; stir until melted.
Stir in eggs one at a time until incorporated. Stir in vanilla extract. Add flour, baking soda and salt; stir well. Stir in nuts. Pour into prepared baking pan.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out slightly sticky. Remove to wire rack to cool completely.
After cooling, slice entire pan of brownies into two layers. Cut Twizzlers in half down the center. Lay the split licorice on top of bottom layer like you would pasta strips for lasagna. Cover with top layer.
Cut and serve.
If they come out wrong, it's most likely your fault.