Hypothetical party-themed poll question...

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I just wanted to appeal to the LoT brain-trust. Because my brain is fried and our budget is only so big, and weeknight rentals are suprisingly less expensive.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I voted for option one...because you should have the party you wanna have.

[mistyisjafo]

I think you shouldn't go too overboard. Some nice touches to a themed party is enough. It gets expensive after a while! I did a mystery party at my house and the food and beverages put me way over budget. Can't imagine decor too!

[LSPoorEeyorick]

It's, erm, a wedding reception. :blush:

[Ponine]

Hey you... I'll endorse you having what you want to have. I will be there with bells on no matter what.
(The underlying message here, I'm abstaining)

Some of us, have resources you dont know about, so let us help if we can, and/or are willing.

[Not Afraid]

Well, I've experienced some pretty large wedding receptions on a budget and some pretty small ones that cost a mint. I think you need to choose a time and place that suits you and make it suit your needs.

I don't know the details, but I might be able to give you some tips. Feel free to call me.

Catering is usually the big expense and there are ways to get the prices down. A good caterer will work with you and your budget.

[Prudence]

Food is a big chunk of reception costs. Do you know what time your ceremony will be? Or have you made it that far? I realize that people expect a plated, sit-down to-do, but a) I wasn't (and still am not) made of money, b) it makes for more complicated arrangements of assigned seating and entree selections and people who RSVP one way or the other and then do the opposite, and c) often the food's pretty boring.

We had a 2pm wedding followed by what my mother calls "heavy hors d'oeuvres." For our purposes, it worked well. For less money than expected we were able to have a wide selection of tastes, we couldn't have cared less if people RSVPd since there was plenty to go around (and thus we saved the response card expense), people could sit wherever they damn well pleased, and honestly there was so much food it really could have been a full meal. We did a vaguely Greek-themed menu, so it wasn't just the standard cold-cuts or mac'n'cheese buffet.

Again - this is what worked for us. If your mind's eye paints the perfect wedding reception as a velvet-covered den of iniquity or a circled and swirled Shag print, this won't work for you.

(We were also at a church that forbid alcohol, and my parents are strict teetotalers who wouldn't come if there was alcohol, so that cut down on the expense significantly. This also means that I have tasty punch recipes out the wazoo.)

Did I mention I have inexpensive favor and decoration ideas? Must....stop...pontificating....

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Gah! Wedding planning on LoT. I meant to never, ever do this. Squint real hard, people who accidentally stumbled on my badly-camouflaged-wedding-planning-thread, maybe this will look like some sort of clever internet story.

We're mostly set for the actual wedding, which will be in Michigan. But we're planning a reception party in CA because basically nobody here will be able to fly out to Michigan to join us. And we want to celebrate!

So this question applies strictly to our free-of-ceremony reception-o-rama. We have the option of getting a really swell location that reflects who we are and basically makes our theme FOR us (but that soaks up our budget) or getting a just-fine location with the food we'd really like. It's a hard decision. I was just trying to figure out if it was possible to do the best of both worlds by scheduling it on a day that both the location and the catering would be more reasonably-priced.

Bah! Look away, people. Nothing to see here.

[tracilicious]

That's a tough call. Because people love you, they will most likely find a way to go regardless of the day. But I wish I had spent less money (or eloped!) on the wedding/reception and more on the honeymoon. I think it depends on your priorities. If it's really really important that you have memories of a fabulous party then by all means do what you must. If the party isn't so important and you just want to spend time with friends, then spend less.

[Prudence]

Do not deprive us of the opportunity to discuss tulle circles and pointless, engraved knick-knacks!

Does your swell location require an evening time-frame? Because sometimes you can get discount rental rates if you go earlier in the day and the venue can basically squeeze in two rentals in one day. And then you could take off for a group romp around the town.

Also, whenever you choose, keep traffic issues in mind. If you do evening, and choose weekday, keep rush hour in mind. Always consider sporting events, concerts, graduations, or anything else that is likely to surprise guests and/or vendors.

Oooh - the other thing about buffet type service is that you don't have to hire (or tip) waitstaff. Are you culinarily inclined to make food yourselves? Or commission others to do so on your behalf (without actually becoming potluck)? If it's evening, you could always forgo the actual meal bits in favor of a ginormous dessert reception. Chocolate fountain! Lots of cookies can be made in advance and frozen. Desserts would definitely increase the flow of hedons.

[Prudence]

Do not deprive us of the opportunity to discuss tulle circles and pointless, engraved knick-knacks!


Of course, the Prudence does not actually endorse either tulle circles or engraved knick-knackery.

[katiesue]

I'm with Prudence. We did afternoon wedding with the "heavy hors d'oeuvres." Kept costs down and made it more casual. We also only served champagne and punch. Open bars get really expensive really fast.

I personally think a lot of the wedding stuff has gotten ridiculously out of hand. People spend exorbitant amounts of money (that usually they can't afford) to impress their friends. Rather than having a gathering of friends to celebrate a happy occasion.

Oh and take all those offers of help, lots of people have connections and resources you never even thought of.

[CoasterMatt]

We got married aboard a pirate ship, with a ship's captain and a lot of screaming people on the Vegas strip. The reception was pretty subdued, but the key thing for us, was that everybody had a great time.

I vote for whatever floats your boats :D

[katiesue]

I vote for whatever floats your boats :D

Exactly and don't forget - it's YOUR wedding not anyone elses so do what you guys want to do.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I will not deprive you, dear Prudence, but I don't think LoT is the best place for the majority of weebling and wondering about wedding-stuff. Plus, I want to keep a lot of stuff a surprise! Perhaps I will set up an LJ filter for you and the select few who are wedding-happy.

katiesue, you're completely right about the wedding industry getting out of hand. Tom just saw the photography prices and I'm pretty sure a gasket in his head blew. The parental units are really helpful with the MI wedding, but we're on our own for the LA party and this city can be painful. But lovely. And we're soliciting our local friends and resources as best we can (thanks guys!) so hopefully we'll be able to compromise on a party that suits our tastes AND our budget.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I know my husband voted otherwise, but I have to vote for the second option, because I'd never be able to make anything in Los Angeles on a weeknight. I'm always for "the more the merrier", and that's why my wedding included many, many people. I can see the appeal for small but it's not me.

You should have the party you want, so what do you want? Perfect locale with a few or lesser locale with more? I seriously would not be offended if you chose the former, and neither should anyone else. :)

[LSPoorEeyorick]

That's the thing-- what good is the perfect location when nobody can come? So we may have to make it a Naziless Sophie's Choice horse-of-a-different-color: perfect location, or perfect food?

[Kevy Baby]

Do not deprive us of the opportunity to discuss tulle circles and pointless, engraved knick-knacks!AAHHHH!!!!

Chick Thread... I'm outta here

[Not Afraid]

But......they might need DJ! ;)

[Kevy Baby]

But......they might need DJ! ;)I'm never going to be able to retire...

:sigh:

[GusGus]

No money needed for the cake!

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

I don't eat much!

Anytime, anyplace, I will be there. :)

[Cadaverous Pallor]

That's the thing-- what good is the perfect location when nobody can come? So we may have to make it a Naziless Sophie's Choice horse-of-a-different-color: perfect location, or perfect food?See, I'd just go for somewhere in between, not one or the other.

[Alex]

I'm always in favor of the just go sign papers downtown, tell your friends months later, and at some point just throw a real big fun party.

But I seem to be in the minority on that one.

The first question I guess is what do you want? Do you want a party you'll remember for the ambience or to have as many of your friends and family there as possible. I don't know how many people would go to a weeknight wedding reception (and does that mean a weeknight wedding?) and I have no baseline since I've never had an acquaintance do such a thing where more than a handful of people were invited (the one friend I have who got married on a weekday had a five person wedding party, no invited guests, and then those five people went to dinner). But if expenses are an issue a more intimate smaller party might be advantageous.

But really, in my opinion, it comes down first to what is the primary thing about the party: the people or the decoration.

[innerSpaceman]

Ya know, I've never had any friends throw a weeknight wedding reception. I'd like to see one just for the rarity of it all.

Personally, I'm sick of life only consisting of those two days per week. I call shenanigans on saying those can be the only times for fun, or that partying on a school night is never allowed. My kids are allowed once in a while to ditch school to go to Disneyland, and damned if I'm not allowed to ditch work for a friend's wedding (or go in really late, and really blurry).

That's just me, though. Other people's mileage may vary. But I will go to any friend's wedding that's west of the Mississippi, weekend or no.

[€uroMeinke]

See, I'd just go for somewhere in between, not one or the other.

No no no no no - that's the kind of thinking that spawned the likes of DCA - pick something and go for it and don't look back. You friends will be there just to feed off your enthusiasm.

On the subject of weekdays, May 5, 2005 was a weekday and one of the best Disney days I ever had - with thousands of like-minded souls. Tell us what you desire most and we'll be there to make it happen.

[innerSpaceman]

You do not have to spread more mojo around before mojoing € again, but you may want to quote the no-mojo spiel anyway to loudly proclaim the coolness of our guru of swank.

:snap:

[Gemini Cricket]

It's not the play or the theatre or the sets, it's all about the cast, darling. People will come to celebrate you and hubby. Your family and friends don't want you to break the bank. You could have the celebration in a series of large cardboard boxes and people would come anyway because it's you two.
:)

[MickeyLumbo]

Originally Posted by mojo
You do not have to spread more mojo around before mojoing € again, but you may want to quote the no-mojo spiel anyway to loudly proclaim the coolness of our guru of swank.
:snap:

i must spread more mojo before i can spread more mojo

as far as the reception, just tell me what day the dancing boys will be there.

[mousepod]

Unless you plan on serving poisoned food (like we inadvertently did at my Bar Mitzvah), I wouldn't worry too much about the comestibles. My vote is for atmosphere, and most of that comes from the guest list...

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I'm always in favor of the just go sign papers downtown, tell your friends months later, and at some point just throw a real big fun party... Do you want a party you'll remember for the ambience or to have as many of your friends and family there as possible. I don't know how many people would go to a weeknight wedding reception (and does that mean a weeknight wedding?)

Well, our actual wedding is in Michigan in June, but very few of our friends would be able to make it-- "past the Mississippi" to coin a phrase. The main party in question is our real-big-fun-party in Los Angeles. We definitely want our pals there, there's no question of cutting our guest list down.

There'll be some guests coming from the Bay area (I hope, anyway) so I'm not sure I can stomach making them take more than one day off of work in exchange for a more affordable night at a movie theater.

OH! Have I said too much?

We're working on a plan where we can keep the swank in but not have to exclude the likes of 1/2 of the Sloane couple. ;)

[Prudence]

Unless you plan on serving poisoned food (like we inadvertently did at my Bar Mitzvah), I wouldn't worry too much about the comestibles.

So do we actually get to read the poisoned food story?

[Gemini Cricket]

So do we actually get to read the poisoned food story?
He could title it: Barf Mitzvah. :D

[Prudence]

It sounds trite, but I actually think budget issues spark creativity. I think my wedding and reception were much nicer and more fun/interesting because I was trying to work within a budget. (Can't afford professional string quartet that charges a couple K? Try extremely talented amateurs working toward their union qualifications who would be happy with a couple hundred and a trip through the buffet.)

[Ponine]

No money needed for the cake!
Yeah , see?
And right here is chocolate!

It's your reception. I do know a fair bit of folk in LA area too, so you never know the connections we might have.

[Gemini Cricket]

No money needed for the cake!
GusGus could make her world famous brownie Aztec pyramid. So yummy! :)

[tracilicious]

Man, this thread makes me wish I could get married again just to have another reception.

[Gemini Cricket]

Man, this thread makes me wish I could get married again just to have another reception.
Pshaw, I want to get married for the presents, darling!
:D

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Yeah , see?
And right here is chocolate!

It's your reception. I do know a fair bit of folk in LA area too, so you never know the connections we might have.

I will totally be taking everybody up on their offers. We shall rendesvous in PM, lady!

[CoasterMatt]

We got married for the swordplay :evil:

[LSPoorEeyorick]

And then, I suppose that we are getting married to fulfill the fantasy I've had since I was five and watched Annie for the first time. Private movie screening!

(also there's that love thing.)

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Ouch. I just got compared to Pressler. :(

In that case I'm actually glad that we didn't know you guys well enough in 2002 to invite you to our wedding. You may have felt our choices unswanky, because we went with a standard package deal at a country club, didn't do it on a weeknight, and we tried to accomodate everyone (Sunday due to being Jewish, lunch because no one wants to stay up late on a Sunday night, and even brought in kosher meals for those that needed them). How very boring and middle of the road - aren't you happy you weren't there?

Yeah, I'm kinda miffed. </annoyance>

In any case, here's my real advice for LSPE and anyone else wanting to plan a wedding - do not ask for advice. I know I did what I wanted, and my only regrets involve things that I didn't hold fast on. Make sure it's whatever you want it to be, no matter where or how many people or how pricey the party.

:)

[Alex]

Ok, if it is a reception separate from the wedding then I offer no advice on that. People have weeknight parties all the time for all kinds of reasons. And people go to them.

You're still likely to have more people able (or willing) to attend on Friday night, Saturday, or Sunday day but again it boils down to your own priorities and you're the only one who can decide on those. Once you have a firm grasp on that the rest will fall into place as long as you don't let other people try to insert their priorities in place of yours.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I don't know where I said that I didn't enjoy anybody's tried-and-true wedding and reception. Hell, I am HAVING a tried-and-true wedding and reception. We're only planning a Los Angeles party to celebrate with friends who would (or could) not choose to come to podunk, MI to go to it.

And because those friends would be missing out on the actual traditional stuff we're going to go a different way. I am not sure what is upsetting you about this, but as I already said, I'd rather accomodate people and cut stuff than lose the chance to celebrate with them.

[Ghoulish Delight]

And because those friends would be missing out on the actual traditional stuff we're going to go a different way. I am not sure what is upsetting you about this, but as I already said, I'd rather accomodate people and cut stuff than lose the chance to celebrate with them.I think she's reacting to €'s DCA comment.

[Disneyphile]

If you want an idea as to what we've spent, here's the summary:

Just at about $6,000 includes:

140 guests
Saturday evening
choice of a few different ceremony sites
5 hours of site rental, plus 3-1/2 hours of prep/tear-down time
Lemon terragon chicken buffet dinner with sides and unlimited tea, soda, and coffee
Huge wedding night cabin
1 keg of Newcastle
2 cases of wine
cash bar (anything different than the beer and wine we're supplying, the guests will be on their own)
champagne/cider toast
cake cutting fee
all linens and furniture
set-up and clean-up (does not include decor)It's actually pretty cheap for that many people on a Saturday night with limited booze and a full dinner. :)

[BarTopDancer]

I'm not voting either way. Sure, I'd prefer a weekend night because it's easier for me to get from SouthCounty to LA. However, this party is not about me. It is all about you and Tom and what you guys want. Heck, if you wanted to have it on a Tuesday at 3pm I'd try to take the day off work and be there.

Who knows, the date you pick may not work out for some people. You can't please everyone, so screw them and throw whatever party you want whenever you want. :D

Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of life and love. And it makes me sad to see that one of my friends feels like her friends would have been bored with her wedding because it wasn't swanky enough. :(

[Disneyphile]

I don't know where I said that I didn't enjoy anybody's tried-and-true wedding and reception. Hell, I am HAVING a tried-and-true wedding and reception. We're only planning a Los Angeles party to celebrate with friends who would (or could) not choose to come to podunk, MI to go to it.

And because those friends would be missing out on the actual traditional stuff we're going to go a different way. I am not sure what is upsetting you about this, but as I already said, I'd rather accomodate people and cut stuff than lose the chance to celebrate with them.I think your choices are great!

Always remember that your wedding is what YOU should want it to be. :D

[CoasterMatt]

I think your choices are great!

Always remember that your wedding is what YOU should want it to be. :D
A big HERE! HERE! to that one...

When Rose and I were married, it meant a lot to us that our friends and family enjoy the wedding, but the key focus was on us; we had a great time.
It was neat to hear "that was the most FUN wedding I've been to" several times afterwards.

:cheers:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I've PMed LSPE and I know I should say this publicly as well before it explodes in my face -

My comments were directed at Euro (and iSm on the side for approving so much of Euro's post) because I couldn't help but feel offended at the inferences.

As I said in that post any and all types of wedding parties are awesome, because they are whatever people want them to be, and that's wonderful. They're all special, whatever you spend on whatever and however many are invited.

I never meant to insult LSPE and the rest of you guys. Seems I can't go too long before making an ass of myself in public. :rolleyes:

I love you guys and I obviously really do wish all of you could have been at our wedding, including Euro and iSm. I was being sarcastic. Why can't I ever pull off sarcasm?? Perhaps my husband should post things for me.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Disneyphile is really making her dollar stretch! Awesome job.

I really wish I could have seen Coaster Matt's wedding. Any online pics?

[katiesue]

As for weeknight vs weekend I'd check with the few key people you absolutely want to be there and see when they can make it. Then just pick the date and go with it. No matter what date you pick, weekend or weeknight there will be people who can't attend for whatever reason. And people will make time in their schedules because they want to be a part of your happy day.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Aw, no hurt feelings here, people! Only love. And misunderstanding. And re-understanding. And further love.

[SacTown Chronic]

Less-swanky weekend reception, because I'd more likely be able to go.
The odds of Crystal and I attending go waaaaaaay up on the weekend. That said, LSPE dear, listen to your heart (and your pocketbook). If we can make it, cool. If not, we'll totally be there in spirit.

[BarTopDancer]

Aw, no hurt feelings here, people! Only love. And misunderstanding. And re-understanding. And further love.

What the world. Needs now. Is love. Sweet Love.

http://www.brocanteo.com/boutique/images/CAJ-0179-alien-toy-story.JPG

[Prudence]

And Shiny!

[Not Afraid]

Perhaps taking a deep breath before responding would help as well. I know it does me at times.

H, I talked with Andrew. We need to chat. :)

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Ooh ooh! When are you free?

[Not Afraid]

Now. ;)

[Not Afraid]

I left a message and will let you know when I talk to her.

This is actually really exciting. I love that you're taking a visionary idea that is right for you and running with it. Soo many events follow a formula and it's nice - and exciting - to see someone thinking outside the proverbial box. I hope that my small amount of pull can actually do you some good. And, I'm happy to help!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Ooh, I know who Andrew is. Now I'm really excited. :D

[Motorboat Cruiser]

If you want an idea as to what we've spent, here's the summary:

Just at about $6,000 includes:

140 guests
Saturday evening
choice of a few different ceremony sites
5 hours of site rental, plus 3-1/2 hours of prep/tear-down time
Lemon terragon chicken buffet dinner with sides and unlimited tea, soda, and coffee
Huge wedding night cabin
1 keg of Newcastle
2 cases of wine
cash bar (anything different than the beer and wine we're supplying, the guests will be on their own)
champagne/cider toast
cake cutting fee
all linens and furniture
set-up and clean-up (does not include decor)It's actually pretty cheap for that many people on a Saturday night with limited booze and a full dinner. :)


No band?

;)

[Kevy Baby]

No money needed for the cake!
I don't eat much!

Anytime, anyplace, I will be there. :)If GusGus is making the cake, there will be PLENTY of cake to eat!

[tracilicious]

Pshaw, I want to get married for the presents, darling!
:D


Now we know what's really behind the gay marriage agenda. :p

[Kevy Baby]

No band?

;)(Mostly) Free DJ