Help! How to distract a bedridden patient...

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I got a call from my significant other this morning. He'd had a coughing fit, and the muscle in his side that had been bothering him decided that it had been extended beyond its capabilities. It tore. It was all he could do not to pass out from the pain. Somehow he struggled over to the phone and reached his mother, who is thankfully a neurologist who lives a few blocks away. She was able to check and advise him, and run some urgent errands.

Holed up in bed, unable to be touched, and still in a fair amount of pain, he seems to be in fair spirits under the circumstances. I'll be around to pamper and aid him, but I know he's frustrated by the amount of stuff-- work, plans, preparations for the move to his new condo- that will have to remain undone in the weeks he'll be restricted from movement.

We'd had such a beautiful day the day before, and it's good that we were able to be playful and free in the open air just prior to his injury. But it seems to me like we're characters written by our beloved Joss Whedon. "Look at the happy pair! But they'd better enjoy it now, because come tomorrow, it's obstacle city."

I could use some help brainstorming just what to do to amuse and distract a bedridden patient. Playing cards? Magazines? Movies? Books? Any ideas, other than these trite ones?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

I love board games. Break out the Trivial Pursuit. :) If he likes puzzles or crosswords or something, there are tons of book choices there. Does he do any kind of art? You can get him modeling clay, or really nice paints/papers. If he has a computer he has access to, get him a new video game. If he writes, buy him a beautiful new journal.

Hope he feels better soon!

[KoH]

I spent four months in bed in a hospital. I had all the games and books and movies and cable. What I missed the most was company. I don't have much of a family so I rarely saw them. The nurses were nice when I could understand them. Make sure you talk to him but don't be there constantly. Get a video camera and show him what is going on outside. The worst thing about being bedridden to me is the isolation.

[Disneyphile]

Video games!!! I find that hours can be spent plaing video games without realizing it. (Well, if he's into that sorta thing.)

I agree with KoH about the isolation thing. It sucks being alone and confined. My 9 1/2 days in a hospital 2 years ago seemed like forever, but when my friends were there, time would just fly. Mainly, they would just talk to me and watch TV with me, since I was really in no condition to do much else. (I couldn't even concentrate enough to play cards.) One friend brought me a coloring book and crayons though - that really helped, believe it or not.

[cirquelover]

How about brain teasers, crosswords, wordsearch or anything to keep his mind occupied.
If he is near a window open the curtains or put a birdfeeder outside for some enjoyment.
Bring him little special treats so he knows he is still loved.
Favorite books from the library or rent some movies.

[Not Afraid]

Sheesh. So much depends on his attention span and interests. And, even movies get boring for film buffs now and then.

I like to have a variety of things to do at different levels of involvement. Being bedridden i s the one time I will read People or Entertainment Weekly and enjoy it. I also like a whole lot of other magazines to peruse through from House Beautiful to Vogue to Real Simple. Magazines are low maintenance friends. You can get into them as shallow or as deep as you wish and not feel guilty.

Games are fun, but depending on the level of pain and medication, they can be difficult. Something like the Game of Life would be fun, I think. Of course, I'd BEG friends to come over and play Canasta with me. but not many people know that wonderful game.

Writing helps keep me sane when I'm stuck. A sick journal can be a place where all of his frustrations go.

Is he project oriented? What projects has he not had the time to work on that he might be able to do from bed? I'm thinking organizing photos, that sort of thing.

I'm feeling quick sick myself, so I can relate. But, I hope to be better tomorrow.

[Prudence]

Variety. I love reading, but even I can't read all day, every day. And some kind of project. Something that can be accomplished and leaves a final product. Prolonged inactivity can lead to feelings of uselessness/worthlessness.

[blueerica]

I guess you'd really have to start with his interests.

For me, I'd want LOTS of music and word puzzles up the yin yang! I'd probably want someone to come play cards with me. Other than that, a good movie.. comedy.. But that's me.. What does he like?

I'd ask him. If I was in his shoes, I would be beyond touched that someone would care enough to make sure I wasn't totally bored in a bedridden state. :)

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

Soap Operas....

[Kevy Baby]

I'll join the "visitors" bandwagon.

When I was 19, my GF was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had 13 hours of brain surgery (they actually removed one lobe of her brain from her skull to get to the medula where the tumor was). Afterwards, even to this day, she always maintained that the single thing thay helped her the most was my visiting and acting like nothing was different about life - we just happened to be living it in a different place. Her mother drove her crazy by ONLY fawning over her for hours on end, "Oh my poor baby."

Most people treat visiting a sick/bedridden person like something to approach with heavy trepidation - that one should treat the individual with kid gloves. Short of causing a strain on the person physically or emotionally, just act as you normally would. Spend a LOT of time just "hanging out" - even if that means just sitting there quietly while you watch a TV show together. Treat getting things for the person more like, "I'm going to the store for a couple of things; you need anything?" rather than, "Oh you poor wretched soul - what pittance can I bequeth you to make your pitiful existance seem less pathetic?" (OK, so that second one is over the top, but you get the idea.)

If you go in with this approach, the visits will be easier for you and make life much better for the visitee.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Thanks for that advice, Kevy. I think a lot of people can benefit from it, myself included. :)

[Monorail Man]

Internet. ;)

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Thanks for all of the advice, you guys! It's been very helpful.

He's a writer and a huge fan of trivia and minutia, so we've already discussed the possibility of board games... and I've bought him a journal... I've spent time with him and tried my best not to coddle. Though it's a hard urge to surpress. On top of the muscle, he's come down with a cold so he's in constant vigilance against the Big Bad Sneeze, which would probably affect what's already healing.

I find myself taking comfort in action. I can't fix him or make him feel better, so I feel the extreme urge to fix the things around his house that he can't get to. I came in with a list. "These are things I'd like to do, if you'll let me: cat litter, dishes, laundry, recycling, trash..." He was initially kind of overwhelmed, so we decided to go step by step (a good approach to this whole thing.) After I spent awhile with the litter and the kitchen, he seemed to get a little antsy. "What's wrong?" "We can finish dishes tomorrow. I'd just really like your company right now." Priorities! I'd forgotten that above all, I needed to listen to what he needed most-- which was to sit by him on the couch and let him rest his hand on mine while watching a movie.

Again, thanks to you all for your suggestions. We appreciate them!

[KoH]

Kevy is right on target... The last thing I wanted to be was smothered. Another thing that is hard on the bedridden is not being able to do everyday chores. LSPE, I think this is what you ran into. I knew that as I laid there, things were going undone. Even now, I can't do important things like change batteries in smole dectectors or bulbs on outdoor lights.

[Morrigoon]

I can think of something you can do to for him while he's in bed. But that won't help you the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day :eek:

How about a marathon of something? Like watching all the Back to the Future movies consecutively, or the entire first season of the Simpsons, etc?

[Kevy Baby]

How about a marathon of something?I thought 15 minutes WAS a marathon

[blueerica]

:eek: