Crotch or A**?

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

One memorable scene from Fight Club was when Tyler Durden, while leaving his airplane seat, says that he's never sure whether to give someone the a**or the crotch.

This same dilemma gives me pause, as well, since I'm frequently riding public transportation.

A pet peeve of mine is when a person in the aisle seat doesn 't stand up to let me pass when I need to exit a window seat. Moving their legs gives me access to the floor space, but it doesn't give my body much room; I'm forced to squeeze up against theirs, and frequently the large bag I carry bangs into their arm or head.

Each time this happens, I also have to decide: a** or crotch. If it's a woman, I usually give her the crotch, because I'm less concerned about a woman being forced into that "face" to face, and it's easier for me to shuffle out of the row that way. If it's a man, giving him the a** feels less intimate; I don't have to see where he's looking as I scoot by. Frankly speaking, at times when I've given the man the crotch, I felt like I was issuing an unintentional invitation.

The pschology is killing me. I must be overly sensitive about personal bubble space, because this kind of thing really keeps me preoccupied. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? A**??? CROTCH??? WHAT?

Why can't these people just stand up? I excuse the elderly or infirm, of course, but others need to give a girl's a** and crotch the privacy they deserve!

After years of this, I finally decided it was time to make actual requests of my fellow passengers, "Could you please stand up and let me pass? I won't be able to get by you, otherwise." Or, I simply point out that it would be easier for us both. Cordial people do so. Others simply ignore me, and to them I purposefully bang against them to show them what for...because I'm sweet like that. Once, when in a really bad mood, I think I actually said, "Fine, but my crotch is going right in your face."

A similar situation arises when the bus is crowded and there are a lot of standing passengers in the aisle. When someone tries to walk by a stationary individual, this individual has two choices:

1. Move forward, pressing one's crotch into to the person seated in an aisle seat.

2. Move back, pressing one's ass into the person seated in an aisle seat.

When I'm the person standing, I think I tend to move forward, thus giving someone the crotch, something I may have to rethink.

Today, I was the person seated in the aisle when a man moved forward to let someone pass behind him, pressing his crotch right into the left side of my face. Now, that seemed a bit much. He was closer to me than was necessary and had intentionally placed his crotch on my face and neck area. I jerked my head over to the left, to show that I was being made uncomfortable. I wanted to say, "Hey, my face isn't a d!ck rest, pal," but a rational part of me assumed I wasn't being molested on purpose, even though we were literally head to head. His belated and muted, "I'm sorry," indicated that he'd suddenly realized I'd been placed in a somewhat uncomfortable situation. He then moved towards the back of the bus.

No harm done.

So...crotch or a**? When forced into a confrontation with either, which do you prefer?

[Gemini Cricket]

So...crotch or a**? When forced into a confrontation with either, which do you prefer?
I guess it would depend on what he looked like. :D

I usually give 'em the a$s. And if they tick me off, I give 'em a poot to boot.

Either that or I just move out into the aisle, let them take off and then I sit down again.

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

[Morrigoon]

Rear. Less personally at stake as far as my own discomfort. Extra points if I'm flatulent.

[Freaky Tiki]

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

So that's why movies stink nowadays.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I guess it would depend on what he looked like. :D

I usually give 'em the a$s. And if they tick me off, I give 'em a poot to boot.

Either that or I just move out into the aisle, let them take off and then I sit down again.

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well. Too much ground to cover in those situations.

[SacTown Chronic]

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick Park because I went to the game commando style and I tried to cut the corner and step over his head while stepping down one row and my nads came down like a wrecking ball to his dome, you're getting the ass from me.

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well. Wanna go see a movie sometime?

[Gemini Cricket]

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well. Too much ground to cover in those situations.
I guess it would resemble some sort of gang lap dance to crotch the entire row. I mean, you do have to kinda sway back and forth to walk sideways slowly...

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick Park because I went to the game commando style and I tried to cut the corner and step over his head while stepping down one row and my nads came down like a wrecking ball to his dome, you're getting the ass from me.

Wanna go see a movie sometime?

First, you accidentally tea bagged someone. LMFAO.

Second, LMFAO. And, sure!

[tracilicious]

I just sit on the aisle.

[tracilicious]

Wanna go see a movie sometime?

Why? Do you wanna put your balls on her head or something?

[Chernabog]

Why? Do you wanna put your balls on her head or something?

Didn't you read LoT Board Rule #42: NO TEABAGGING! I'm gonna report your post, sicko! ;)

Fwomp. .... Fwomp. ... Fwomp. ... Fwomp . . Fwomp Fwomp Fwomp. .... fwopmfwomp .... fwopmfwomp .... fwopmfwomp (see, that's what happens when you really get the hips going!) :eek: SEXY. :cheers:

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Oh, a** at all times! My rear is too round to walk down a movie aisle without rubbing it along the heads of the people in front of me (depending on the slant of the floor.)

And it's much less intimate to jiggle my breasteses at people who are looking in the opposite direction, rather than the faces of those staring right at them.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Oh, a** at all times! My rear is too round to walk down a movie aisle without rubbing it along the heads of the people in front of me (depending on the slant of the floor.)

And it's much less intimate to jiggle my breasteses at people who are looking in the opposite direction, rather than the faces of those staring right at them.

Good answer!

[Stan4dSteph]

I seem to recall the rules of etiquette saying that you should face the person you are moving past. So, I guess I give the crotch.

[mousepod]

I don't think I even considered the question until I saw "Fight Club." Now, every time the situation presents itself, I can't help but think about it.

I guess for me, the crass answer is "Depends on the person, depends on my mood." I think choosing which part of your lower anatomy you choose to drag across the face of a person can really make a statement.

I mental process goes something like: "Would they want the crotch or a**? Do they deserve to get what they want?" It becomes more complex when considering an entire row of people, where the mathematical formula of desire versus reward or punishment can get very tricky...

[Capt Jack]

most times I dont want to waste the time turning around with the little bits of room alotted for plane legroom or theatre either one, so a assin' I will go.

[RStar]

For me it depends on what I've eaten lately and if I feel particularly gassous....:blush:

[CoasterMatt]

Do Not Rub Butt On Train (http://www.boners.com/grub/796977.html) :D

[€uroMeinke]

While I suppose going crotch, I could entertain my commuter felatio fantasies - the fact remains that with almost a years worth of public transit, I have not once yet been offered a blow job. My ass however, seems to get a regular groping.

None-the-less, if we are talking MTA here, that open seat is but one space in, and to be able to slide in butt-to-face, means an easier sit once I'm in position, or the bus lurches me into position, so my preference (in public transit anyway) is to lead with the rear. Perhaps I'd get better action the other way, but the prospect of a bus lurch under those cicumstances leaves me rather - limp.

Now, for those arses who sit on the aisle, so no one sits next to them - well, depending on my mood, I will often target them, just to make sure they're uncomfortable too.

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

What's a crotch?

[Kevy Baby]

That thing you play with

[€uroMeinke]

What's a crotch?

That's best answered by asking a woman you're fond of, to show you.

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

That's best answered by asking a woman you're fond of, to show you.

Ah, so I'm NEVER gonna find out???? :(

[€uroMeinke]

Ah, so I'm NEVER gonna find out???? :(

Well, I suppose you could type the word into google images and see what you get...

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

Search -- "Crotch"


Results -- 33,600

First pic -- Paris Hilton.


Aaaaahh, that' explains alot! thanks!!! ;)

[Kevy Baby]

That's the same first picture you get when you Google "diseased beaver"

ETA: when you do a regular Google search for "crotch" you get: Go Ask Alice!: Grooming the male crotch (http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2283.html)

Hi Alice,

I was curious as how to groom the male crotch. I've never been taught how or if I'm at all supposed to do it. I wanted to know if there are any helpful hints if I do do it.

[Alex]

I don't know if it has been mentioned but the official Miss Manners position is ass.

[€uroMeinke]

I don't know if it has been mentioned but the official Miss Manners position is ass.

But is that really what she wants, or is she just accomodating Mr. Manner's desires?

[Alex]

I don't know there wasn't much detail given. It could just be that Mr. Manners didn't want to have to look at her strangely puffy lips (http://www.flyinghouse.org/images/media/Judith_Martin.jpg).

But the only reason I know this is that someone once asked Roger Ebert the question for his Movie Answers Man column and he referred it to her for her opinion. I think it was Miss Manners anyway, I assume all those ettiquette columns are written by just one person as there can't really be more than that many who care.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

"Fight Club"?? Didn't any of you see "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls"? ;) "Fight Club" stole it from that movie.

[tracilicious]

Now, for those arses who sit on the aisle, so no one sits next to them - well, depending on my mood, I will often target them, just to make sure they're uncomfortable too.

Just for the record, I have never ridden public transportation, thus have never commited this particular crime. ;) In movie theaters though, I do sit on the aisle if I can manage, or at least someone in my party does. Not so that no one will sit next to me, but because I hate having to walk over people if I have to get up.

[Alex]

I sit on the aisle in the bus because I hate being trapped in by another person but try to make eye contact as people board and if the remotest interest is shown I stand for them (and then more often than not stand for the rest of the ride since I am fat and hate touching strangers).

[€uroMeinke]

Just for the record, I have never ridden public transportation, thus have never commited this particular crime. ;) In movie theaters though, I do sit on the aisle if I can manage, or at least someone in my party does. Not so that no one will sit next to me, but because I hate having to walk over people if I have to get up.

Movie theaters and moving vehicles are two different creatures - I've no issue with aisle squaters there.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

If it's a woman, I usually give her the crotch, because I'm less concerned about a woman being forced into that "face" to face, and it's easier for me to shuffle out of the row that way. Do you really find it easier to move into the row facing the person? Like Euro says below, I find it easier to do the 'scuse-me-shuffle turned away from them, so I can move past and plop into the seat. I give them the ass every time, no debate needed.

[innerSpaceman]

It's not so much a matter of when I decide to give the crotch or the a$$, but how to arrange it so the people I find attractive feel somehow compelled to give me the crotch.

[Gemini Cricket]

It's not so much a matter of when I decide to give the crotch or the a$$, but how to arrange it so the people I find attractive feel somehow compelled to give me the crotch.
And you don't want to alarm anyone with your package...

:D

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I don't know if it has been mentioned but the official Miss Manners position is ass.

That is good to know! I will keep that in mind. Thanks!

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Do you really find it easier to move into the row facing the person? Like Euro says below, I find it easier to do the 'scuse-me-shuffle turned away from them, so I can move past and plop into the seat. I give them the ass every time, no debate needed.

Only on exit. If I'm scotting into the row (and by row, I mean two seats next to each other), I always give the ass. But when I exit, I frequently give the crotch. My bag is big and heavy. If i go out ass-ways, I have to lift my bag over my head and it's difficult to keep my balance. If I hold my bag pressed against my right, and behind me, it's easier for me to move if I'm facing the person. I'm not sure why. It just is.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick ParkUNfortunate?!? Dude, I know people (and at least one LoTer) who would pay good money for that "service". :evil:

I generally go ass. I think it's slightly less "intimate" than crotch.

[Not Afraid]

"Fight Club"?? Didn't any of you see "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls"? ;) "Fight Club" stole it from that movie.

I think it was in the novel "Fight Club". But, it is an age old question. I go which ever way is easiest for me. I find airplane seats to be the most challenging, and I choose which way that I am least likely to fall on someone. But, I usually vote for ass.

[innerSpaceman]

And you don't want to alarm anyone with your package...
And again, it all depends on whom I have to scoot by ... and whether I want to alarm them, or perhaps even entice them, with the goods.