Fortune Cookies In Bed [Archive]

blueerica

02-15-2005, 09:33 PM

How many of you ever play the chinese fortune cookie game where you add "... in bed!" to whatever fortune is inside?

Tonight, I ate at a Chinese restaurant with my 12 y.o. sisters. I decided that tonight was the night when I'd explain the game to them. As our cookies came, before we cracked them open, I explained the rules. They smiled, we opened our cookies, and this is what they said.

Wendi's cookie: "You have a unique personality"

Brittany's cookie: "Today is a good day for being with a companion"

My cookie: "Quality counts and you've got it"

So, why don't y'all follow my quality ass, and post any memorable fortunes you've had. Or let this inspire you to get some Chinese food, at least...

mhrc4

02-15-2005, 09:49 PM

mmmmm.........chinese.........

Motorboat Cruiser

02-15-2005, 09:54 PM

Yeah, it's been a while since I've had chinese that I didn't cook, now that I think of it. I'll have to pursue that in the next few days and get back to you.

Sounds like a fun game. :)

mhrc4

02-15-2005, 10:00 PM

i will have to admit, now thinking about it, how old that game got...

we had a friend that was obsessed with Chinese, so he ordered a box of fortune cookies from Panda Express, 2000 to be exact, it took us 3+ years to finish that box....

CoasterMatt

02-15-2005, 10:04 PM

I'm livin' on a Chinese rock
All my best things are in hock
I'm livin' on a Chinese rock
Everything is in the pawn shop

The Ramones - Chinese Rock

blueerica

02-15-2005, 10:05 PM

Yeah, I guess that would get old pretty quickly.. But it's nice to remember to do it when you are at a chinese restaurant. With a little Tsingtao, preferrably!

€uroMeinke

02-15-2005, 10:40 PM

Heh heh - do that all the time, but I don't rember any good ones. Maybe we just need to plan a swank chinese restaurant meet?

Morrigoon

02-15-2005, 10:55 PM

Pity Fung Lum is gone...

Cadaverous Pallor

02-15-2005, 10:56 PM

CHEE! :p

Required explanation: Chee is this chinese restaurant near NA and €'s place. Every time I pass it I can't help but say CHEEEEEE! :p

€uroMeinke

02-15-2005, 11:05 PM

CHEE! :p

Required explanation: Chee is this chinese restaurant near NA and €'s place. Every time I pass it I can't help but say CHEEEEEE! :p

Hmmmm - we always talk ourselves out of going to that place. Perhaps the time has finally come to see what this place is all about.

Not Afraid

02-15-2005, 11:15 PM

I want to go to this place on Brookhurst and Hamilton(?) in Huntington that has a beautiful mural on the ceiling of the bar. I wonder if it still exists. The rumor in HS was that they served Monkey meat, but I thin that was just a racist rumor.

Or, how about Mandarin Gourmet in CM?

Betty

02-16-2005, 06:29 AM

Mmm... Yen Ching in Orange. Mmmmm.

Moonliner

02-16-2005, 08:49 AM

I had one fortune that sticks out in my mind...

"You will do many foolish things but you will do them with enthusiasm. "

Plus it even works with your "in bed" addendum.

Ps. Did you know the fortune cookie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie) started in California?

Ghoulish Delight

02-16-2005, 10:16 AM

Ps. Did you know the fortune cookie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie)started in California?I did, and have actually been to the Golden Gate Park Tea Garden and bought a big bag of fortune cookies for that very reason...in bed.

MouseWife

02-16-2005, 10:30 AM

Well, we are lovers of fortune cookies. When any of us pick up Chinese, we also pick up enough for everyone. I keep them in the bag, shake them up, and let everyone pick their own. We then read them out loud. Some are funny and fit perfect and others seem like lessons that person needs.

Sitting here at my desk I found my older sons last one
"You will be rewarded for being a good listener".

Mine, well, mine gives much more to the imagination:

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future". :D

I think I would keep a cookie around and keep sticking that one in it. :snap:

Ghoulish Delight

02-16-2005, 10:34 AM

Unfortunately, fortunes seem to have stopped being fortunes of late. 99% of fortune cookies I get would be more accurately described as "comliment cookies". They no longer predict your future and bring good tidings, but rather pat you condescendingly on the head and send you scampering away like a good little boy. "You are a good friend and companion." "People look to you for advice." Feh. I want vague self-fulfilling prophecies, damnit!.

MouseWife

02-16-2005, 10:44 AM

I have noticed that too, now that you mention it.

But, when a ten year old gets one of those pats on the head it is good.

It is boring for the older ones, though.

But, my aforementioned one was exciting as I opened it in the early part of the day and it gave me much to anticipate.

Chernabog

02-16-2005, 10:50 AM

Cadaverous Pallor

02-16-2005, 12:39 PM

If you pick a place PLEASE OH PLEASE call poor old passless Joe who hasn't seen you all in weeks and weeks :blush:Heehee! "Ol' Joe".

A swanky chinese restaurant meet would be awesome. I'm down. There are a few passless among us, too.

blueerica

02-16-2005, 12:44 PM

If you pick a place PLEASE OH PLEASE call poor old passless Joe who hasn't seen you all in weeks and weeks :blush:

I just read that as "assless Joe", and thought, "Oh no! What have the boys down in WeHo been doing to dear Joe?!"

Then I reread it.

Ay dios mio!

Not Afraid

02-16-2005, 02:29 PM

OK, I'm confused about where my fabu Chinese bar is. It just might be this one (http://yp.yahoo.com/py/ypMap.py?Pyt=Typ&tuid=9551954&ck=2469268831&tab=B2C&ycat=8227499&city=Huntington+Beach&state=CA&uzip=92648&country=us&msa=5945&cs=4&ed=1NnbZ61o2Tzn.ZMKDLIlGC13T73Ps6So0QCwWXM71gN_7Q--&stat=:pos:11:regular:regT:19:fbT:1). I would have to have someone drive by. Anyone in the area? It was on the North West side of some intersection, which this is not. Damn, that bar was cool.

Chernabog

02-16-2005, 03:25 PM

I just read that as "assless Joe", and thought, "Oh no! What have the boys down in WeHo been doing to dear Joe?!"

Do you REALLY want to know? :rolleyes: :evil:

€uroMeinke

02-16-2005, 08:36 PM

Ps. Did you know the fortune cookie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie)started in California?

I saw that Hewell Hauser episode ;)

SacTown Chronic

02-16-2005, 08:43 PM

My fortune told me that I was gonna have sex with a Chinese woman but I'd be horny again in an hour.

mousepod

02-16-2005, 09:17 PM

We had fortune cookies with custom fortunes at our wedding.
There are so many good chinese restaurants here in SF. They claim to be authentic (they probably are, there's such a huge Chinese population here), but somehow I really miss NYC Chinese food. This thread has me craving cold sesame noodles.....

MickeyD

02-16-2005, 09:18 PM

Last time I went to a chinese restaurant with my family my fortune said "You will inherit a great fortune" I showed it to my parents excitedly, and they told me I better start searching for my birth parents, because they're my only hope for inheriting a fortune. :rolleyes:

AllyOops!

02-17-2005, 02:12 PM

Aww! I love chinese food & fun fortune cookies.

The BEST chinese EVER is Chin Chin, and I order it in. A whole lot! :)

The last fortune cookie I cracked open was with my Mom during a scrumdiddlyumtious lunch at P.F. Chang's. We each picked one. My Mom's said "You are very responsible". Mine said, "Be yourself and you will always be in fashion." We were both in awe over how tailored our fortunes were to each other, and how had we picked the opposite, it wouldn't have made sense for either of us. My Mom is confident & responsible, and I'm often....not. :(

I was DYING to add the words "in bed" but thought I'd give my Mom a break. I always tell her things she wishes I....hadn't. :evil:

*Whenever I think of fortune cookies, I ALWAYS think of The Simpsons episode where Homer feels his fortune cookie is telling him to sleep with his sexy co-worker, Mindy. Only because he didn't get a fortune cookie out of the barell that was labeled, "Stick With Your Wife". :D :p

Ghoulish Delight

02-17-2005, 02:28 PM

*Whenever I think of fortune cookies, I ALWAYS think of The Simpsons episode where Homer feels his fortune cookie is telling him to sleep with his sexy co-worker, Mindy. Only because he didn't get a fortune cookie out of the barell that was labeled, "Stick With Your Wife". :D :p

Mindy: Well, desserts aren't always right.
Homer: But they're sooo sweet. :(

Gn2Dlnd

02-17-2005, 02:56 PM

So, I read the title to this thread and I think of the old Confucious joke, switch out "crackers" for "Fortune Cookie," and get, "Confucious say, 'Man who eat fortune cookie in bed have crumby sleep.' "

But, every third Saturday, or so, we have Chinese food between shows at the theatre. Imagine 15 or 20 actors all being oh-so-clever with the "in bed" gag. Almost makes you want to switch to almond cookies (which I looove) - sheesh.

So, here's the one that resides in my wallet: YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN A BUSINESS OF YOUR OWN (in bed.) PEKING NOODLE CO.

Toot toot!

UvaGirl

02-17-2005, 02:59 PM

Mindy: Well, desserts aren't always right.
Homer: But they're sooo sweet. :(

LOL:) I love the hotel porter guy in that episode, with his weird innuendo noises....rrrrowwwwr, *whistle* etc:D

Eliza Hodgkins 1812

02-17-2005, 03:17 PM

My last one promised me a great adventure (in bed). Seriously. A great adventure.

Writers of Fortune Cookies, I am STILL waiting for this GREAT adventure to happen (in bed). Why must my good fortune be stuck somewhere in traffic?

Not Afraid

02-17-2005, 03:21 PM

My father recieved one years ago that read: It is best to pussyfoot in the back door after storming out the front door. Why I remember that 20 years later is beyond me.

Gn2Dlnd

02-17-2005, 03:23 PM

Probably the combination of the phrases "back door" and "in bed."

Cadaverous Pallor

02-17-2005, 03:42 PM

I have a couple taped to my cubicle. One says "You will witness a miracle today." I mean, holy crap, that's gotta be the most fortune-y of fortunes I've ever gotten. Absolutely NOTHING memorable happened that day, however. :mad: Perhaps it's a lesson that every day we exist is a miracle? :vomit:

My other one says something like "You will step on the soil of many countries." I like that one. :)

Ghoulish Delight

02-17-2005, 03:44 PM

Probably the combination of the phrases "back door" and "in bed."Whereas the straight-man's reading says that it has to do with "pussyfoot", which is a whole other ball game.

Eliza Hodgkins 1812

02-17-2005, 03:57 PM

I have a couple taped to my cubicle. One says "You will witness a miracle today." I mean, holy crap, that's gotta be the most fortune-y of fortunes I've ever gotten. Absolutely NOTHING memorable happened that day, however.

Hear that, GD? Wifey is saying you're no miracle (in bed).