For Men Only: Old School at the Urinal?

[Strangler Lewis]

Been teaching my son about standing up at the potty to do number one. This has me thinking about what appears to be a change in standard operating procedure that I've noticed out of the corner of my eye in recent years.

I was taught that you address the urinal, unzip, reach in, pull the critter out through the fly in your underwear and your pants, point and shoot. I've never had any problem with this.

In recent years, I've noticed a lot of 20 somethings and 30 somethings doing it differently. They approach aggressively, like an SUV bearing down on a stop sign, barely able to stop. When they get to the urinal, they spread their legs about shoulder width apart. Instead of just unzipping, they undo their belt and then unbutton their pants before unzipping and folding the front of their pants down. Now, whether they then go through their underwear or over the top is something I can't tell without giving the matter an unsafe amount of attention.

So, what's this all about? Are they going over the top rather than through? If so, are all these guys--from stockbroker types to working class--wearing a new style of flyless underwear? Is this all an affectation meant to suggest that things are so big that more space must be cleared? Has a coping mechanism to avoid pissing one's self while drunk carried over into daily life? Is it a borrowing from, how you say, the hip hop?

All insights welcome.

[innerSpaceman]

Corner of your eye, my eye.

The new style is designed to accommodate what's been going on for centuries ... the comparison glance.

[Kevy Baby]

I have no comment as I have not witnessed this action. Sounds amusing.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Hmm, I recently purchased a package of boxer briefs only to discover at home that were indeed flyless. It really baffled me, but I was too lazy to return them. I rarely wear them, but when I do, I have found that it's simple enough to just surreptitiously reach in, get a hold of the bottom of a leg opening, and go out the side. Never would have even thought to just unbutton and go over the top (and now that you mention it as a possibility...no, still not going to).

[Kevy Baby]

This thread is a good enough excuse to post this again:

http://www.technologyinvestor.com/images/urinal.jpg

[Alex]

The underwear I wear is flyless so that's one issue out of the way. And I prefer button-fly jeans so that is the other. So opening the pants is pretty much a habit even if I'm not wearing button-fly.

Also, "through the fly but over the top" can result in physical situations that mildly hamper a smooth flow by crimping on various passageways which can leade to leakage when putting everything away. As the old poem goes, "no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants" which is bad enough without making it worse.

I don't pay enough attention to what other people do to have any idea if methods have changed.

[Chernabog]

As the old poem goes, "no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants" which is bad enough without making it worse.


Tee hee :) that one's cute.

But yeah, I blame it on the button fly. It is easier to undo your belt and unbutton it from the top, than trying to unbutton it from the middle (and then button it back up again from the middle) while the top button is still buttoned.

[blueerica]

Word on the street... or at least from over the shoulder... is that perhaps it is zipper length. Shorter zippers require "going over." Longer zippers mean going through.

Or whatever you guys call it.

Oh, and all apologies for being the first girl to respond to a decidedly male thread.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

"no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop goes in the pants"I can't help but add that this little rhyme would sound better with more syllables. How about this:

No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop of pee goes into the pants.

That'll be 5 bucks, thank you for your business.

Otherwise, I'm finding this thread very educational.

[Alex]

I got it from a Stephen King book (have no idea if it is original) and make no claim that it was recreated correctly.

But my version reads fine to me with a slight beat between drop and goes. A pause that, when spoken out loud gives the listener a moment to realize where things are going. Adding "of pee" removes the ambiguity of it (though there may have been other syllables in the source; unfortunately I forget which book it was in).

[Alex]

Boy do I love Amazon's search inside. It is from Desparation (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0451188462/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-9758366-8534307#) and here is the relevant paragraph:


Johnny shook it briskly, then slipped it back into his underpants. "Brethern," he told the distant shimmering mountains in his earnest revival preacher's voice, "we are told in the Book of Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine, that it matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants. So it is written and so it is -"

[Strangler Lewis]

I learned it as "No matter how you squirm and dance, The last drop always lands in your pants."

And it's not just the button flied who do this. When I wore button flied pants, I would just undo the relevant buttons.

[Jazzman]

I've noticed the semi-aggressive "feet shoulder width apart" slumped over stance, and always figured it was kind of like blocking out on the basketball court. I do it too, I guess, whenever I encounter the unfortunate urinal-sans-privacy-wall. As far as the through-or-over conundrum, maybe it's just that most guys still haven't put playing swords behind them? I'm an old school shooter myself, so I wouldn't know.

[Kevy Baby]

A professor of mine in college had a stance that always made me crack up:

Feet wider than shoulder width apart,
Right fist on hip (think classic "King and I" pose),
Left hand on wall above urinal.

[ozron]

I recently bought a pair of button-fly pants for the first time in years, and found the fully-opened fly necessary. I've noticed (usually) younger guys at the urinal with pants undone, and wondered thought how inconvenient it must be to have to concentrate that much on keeping the pants from just dropping off. Now that I've done it myself a few times, I still think that.

Then again, these are the same guys who regularly wear their pants with the fly somewhere in the vicinity of the knee, so I guess it makes sense to them.

ron

[RStar]

Oh, and all apologies for being the first girl to respond to a decidedly male thread.Decidedly? The "men only" part of the title wasn't a clue? ;)

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).

I find it rather amusing when a guy at the urinal spreads his legs, and places both hands on the wall as if he was being frisked by the police. I have to wonder about his past.....

And in case anyone wants to know Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine says "And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ". I see nothing about dancing or peeing one's pants. (Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)

[tracilicious]

(Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)


Miss Quoting, I'd like you to meet Mister Parentheses. How do you do?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

it matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants.I learned it as "No matter how you squirm and dance, The last drop always lands in your pants."Both of these fulfill my need for more syllables, and keep the ambiguity that Alex rightfully pointed out. I'm satisfied. :)

[blueerica]

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).




Criminy! I don't even remember those threads! I think I might about the make up....

[innerSpaceman]

Yes, but who can forget CP's Time-o'-the-Month thread ? ... and several men participated in that.

[Capt Jack]

Has a coping mechanism to avoid pissing one's self while drunk carried over into daily life?

that was my take on it until I read this


... is that perhaps it is zipper length. Shorter zippers require "going over." Longer zippers mean going through.

I wear 501's almost exclusively and yeah, it seems the 'access port' is sewn considerably shorter than they used to be, although to ask Levi, they've been the same for x hundred years. (not even bringing up the fearful subject of 'zipper tread' a couple of those make you a very careful person :eek: )

dunno. I (quite intentionally) never really took that much notice of anyone else during that particular moment of my day. I must admit that Im one of those belt, fly and all hell opened up to go kind of guys as I just hate trying to wiz through that narrow opening most pants have for such activity. Ditto for that spring loaded fly sewn into most underwear.

I will say though that just reading this thread has made me have to go.

:blush:

so if you'll excuse me.....

[Alex]

Thinking about it, if indeed it has changed over time I wonder if it is because of a change in style and general tightness of pants. The through the fly method is much easier in relatively loose fitting slacks and more difficult in relatively tight jeans. As we've gone to more casual clothing that tends to fit more snugly (and as we've grown bigger tending to more snugly fill our clothes) I wonder if that would change habits.

When I wear slacks I am much more likely to go through the fly since opening everything wide makes it hard to keep your pants up. But with jeans they aren't going to go far.

[Scrooge McSam]

...opening everything wide makes it hard to keep your pants up.

The reason for the wide footed stance???

[Tramspotter]

What about A full grown man who skeeves everyone in the place out by doing that little kid number and dropping trou all the way down and pissing bare assed while swaying around like a freaking drunkard?


If you were at a trendy bar in Marina Del Rey on Friday and saw such a thing then I fully appologize.

[Disneyphile]

The new style is designed to accommodate what's been going on for centuries ... the comparison glance.Comparison glance?? Please tell me you're kidding. Please tell me guys don't actually do that........

(If so, I just learned something new, that I would have thought of as a joke.)

[Alex]

I never have. But then I have approximately zero interest in penii other than my own. Especially since except for certain truly extreme outlyers, penii in peeing condition don't really offer much useful information.

[innerSpaceman]

Oh, I've never done it. Where's the comparison factor during that, ahem, stage of penile performance (aka peeing)? I might be interested in comparisons with a more ready-for-action penis ... but, ok, I'll admit to being interested in those for many other reasons besides.


Still ... for gay men, urinal-opportunity comparisons are a sterotypically common activity.

[Kevy Baby]

I think the glance is probably more prevalent in younger males (at the onset of puberty). That awkward age where every is dying to fit in. I know I am guilty of it (though I couldn't help stealing a glance at one individual at a later part of life when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was dangling MUCH lower than usual. And he was to about mid-thigh :eek:

[thecorndogwalker]

Still ... for gay men, urinal-opportunity comparisons are a sterotypically common activity.



just be careful with with those pesky undercover officers...

[RStar]

If you were at a trendy bar in Marina Del Rey on Friday and saw such a thing then I fully appologize.I just got back from the Ritz Carelton in Marina Del Rey (nice view!) and all I saw in the men's room was a bunch of old gassy guys in suits at the urinals. Boy, I think they had a Gaseous Eruptions concert going or something, and boy that tune stunk!! :eek:

[Tref]

Hmm, I recently purchased a package of boxer briefs only to discover at home that were indeed flyless. It really baffled me, but I was too lazy to return them.

Aye, is there a chance you are wearing them backwards, my son?

[RStar]

Aye, is there a chance you are wearing them backwards, my son?:eek: :D

[thecorndogwalker]

Aye, is there a chance you are wearing them backwards, my son?


those are the homosexual boxers.. I have several pairs of them.

[RStar]

those are the homosexual boxers.. I have several pairs of them.
:eek: :evil:

[SzczerbiakManiac]

I have always just unzipped my shorts and then pulled the front of my underwear down to pee. Digging around in my crotch for my wiener, navigating through the double-doors of my underwear, and then having my very sensitive skin come in contact with a zipper has never been my idea of a good time nor an efficient use of time.