Local Darwin Award Winner

[innerSpaceman]

Ever wonder what percentage of criminals are caught by virtue of their own stupidity, and how many are really caught due to the valiant efforts of law enforcement?

The Darwin Awards provides an annual hoot-fest of stupid criminals who get themselves caught, and I personally believe most crimes are "solved" because criminals are nimrods.

:D

Today, I got a local "Darwin Award" report from zapppop, who was in court to testify against the moron accused of stealing his storage locker stuff and his identity.

As soon as zapppop took the stand and before he uttered one word of testimony, the defendant changed his plea to "Guilty" (that is all) and threw himself on the mercy of the court. He will be sentenced to three years in prison.


But get a load of how he was caught.

The dimwit who had been robbing things from more than one victim drove through a red light.

At the time, he had a red suitcase in the trunk of his car.

In the suitcase were the documents and other goods stolen from zapppop.


When the officer who stopped him for running a red light found the suspicious materials in the trunk of the car, the retard’s claims that the stuff in his own car trunk were put there by someone else fell on deaf ears ....

... because also in the suitcase with the stolen goods in the trunk of the car that ran a red light - - was the fuctard’s own wallet.

:snap: :snap: :snap:

And so the local Darwin Award of 2007 goes to the asshat who stole zapppop’s stuff.

Enjoy your three years in the slammer! :evil:

[NirvanaMan]

Cheers to the good guys winning for once!

[Capt Jack]

awesome....but I thought Darwins were awarded to those who, through similar "fuctarded" efforts of their own doing resulted in their removal from the gene pool as it were....ie: they died.

none the less, the guy will probably wish he had by the end of 3 years. I wonder if its considered 'cruel and unusual' to go visit him periodically and laugh at him through the window.

[innerSpaceman]

I believe the Darwins have multiple categories. Perhaps the main one is indeed doofs who off themselves, but I've always been more fascinated with their true criminal idiot stories (such as the guy who, while robbing a liquor store ... is convinced by the shopkeeper to prove his age with his driver's licence before he can steal a bottle of whiskey. The perp is later arrested at his home address. TeeHee.)



Please forgive my selective memory.


(It's better than the none-at-all I'm inevitably headed for.)

[Capt Jack]

yup. youre right. went and looked a few up (and had a really good laugh in the process). they have categories for both lethal and non-lethal failures.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I used it in a sentence earlier, but this is the perfect thread to introduce my new favorite vocabulary word, unwittingly coined by EH1812:

Crimical: adj. An amalgam of "criminal" and "comical" used to describe felonious activities that result in some form of humor, often in the form of the perpetrator leading to their own capture through comical oversight.

[BarTopDancer]

:snap: :snap: Moron.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Yay to the moron getting jail time!

[Disneyphile]

Awesome! I bet he even sat there, wondering how he got caught. Stupid dork.

[Isaac]

Well now that iSm has told you his side of the story, here's mine (http://zapppop.livejournal.com/8089.html).

[Alex]

Sounds like the real idiocy was consenting to a search of the suitcase.

[innerSpaceman]

Yeah, I don't think a parole-violator who runs a red light with a suitcase full of obviously stolen goods has the brightness of a red light bulb to have declined permission to search the suitcase.

Of course, he may have figured that once his record came up as a parolee on the red light citation, the officer would already have probable cause to search the contents of the vehicle. Or he may have thought his story about someone else throwing the suitcase back there (I didn't know it was a pick-up truck when I posted this thread) would only hold water if he didn't object to it being searched.


Um, guess he forgot where he put his wallet.



I don't think we need worry about world domination from this particular criminal mastermind.

[DreadPirateRoberts]

If you go to http://www.occourts.org/, click on the case info, and put in his last name. There are at least 12 cases in OC concerning him, with charges like:

Possession of a controlled substance, Evading a peace officer/reckless driving, Driving under the influence of alcohol/drugs, Corporal injury - on spouse/cohabitant, Dissuade witness by force, Driving On Suspended License, Corporal injury - repeat offender, to Fraudulently acquires, or retains personal identifying information of another


Don't forget to look into restitution.

[Isaac]

Wow! Awesome find!

My case # was 07WF1307.

[Gemini Cricket]

Well, I hope this dinglecheese stays in for the full 3 years. I hope they don't let him out on a technicality or for good behavior.

Good news, zappp!
:)

[CoasterMatt]

Maybe he'll get shanked by somebody inside that he had lied to on the interwebs about being a 6ft. tall blonde woman from Lithuania.

God that was a terrible sentence, and there's nothing I'm gonna do about it :D

[mousepod]

"Dissuade witness by force" gives me the willies. Glad everything turned out ok, z.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Wait, so that weird dude smoking a cigarette that I bought Isaac's computer from wasn't Isaac?!

[RStar]

Well, I hope this dinglecheese stays in for the full 3 years. I hope they don't let him out on a technicality or for good behavior.

Good news, zappp!
:)

Most likely 3 years will equal 1 1/2. I only hope they look at his past record and not paroll him, but with the over crowding who knows. But at least he got caught and is going to prison for the crimes!

I've always said it takes a special kind of numbskull to try to some of this stuff, and this is why they are stupid enough to get caught.

Case in point, I was a trouble-free kid growing up. I never got into trouble and had all kinds of privaleges at 16 like no curfew and the keys to the car to boot. Now, I wasen't going out getting drunk and driving the car, or robing banks. But I did some things, of course.

Now my brothers and I did some of the same things, and they have both been in and out of jail. One of them has spent more time in prison than out (at least 5 stints) in the past 10 years. The main difference? Nowing what to do and what not to do, who to do it with, and how not to get caught. This takes brains. The one's who get caught, well, lack of fore mentioned gray matter (or at least use there of). Like when you are carying stolen goods, are wanted on warrents, and are a fellon- STOP AT THE RED LIGHTS!!! DUH!!

[DreadPirateRoberts]

I'm sure you have already done this, but don't forget to place a fraud alert (http://www.consumer.gov/idtheft/con_steps.htm#fraud) in your credit file.