Sometimes the Words Do Come

[Gemini Cricket]

Ever been in a situation, a confrontation maybe, when after it's all over you wish you said something clever during it? It happens to me all the time, I think 'Gosh, I should have said this and this and this. That would have been awesome.'

Well, something happened to me tonight and the words just came right outta me.

So, I thought I'd buy a couple of fish for my new aquarium tonight so I went to the Studio City Petco. There was no parking in their lot, so I parked across the street from the Petco. As I'm crossing the street, a mini Cooper zooms right in front of me. It was literally 6 inches from hitting me. I didn't think anything of it, typical LA... Then as I'm walking, the driver of the mini Cooper slams on the breaks. Now here comes the mini Cooper in reverse, this time right at me.

Now, you've seen those 70's cop shows where there's a car chase and poor pedestrians have to leap out of the way? That was me. I had to jump away or the car would hit me. I bet I was ghostly white. Not only that, but I landed on the side of my foot because I did it so fast. All the while, the driver didn't see me still. She was on her freakin' cellphone.

So, being livid, I decided not to let this go. Apparently, the slamming of the breaks and the quick reverse was for an available parking space on the street. So, I walked up to her driver side window and pound on it.

The lady jumped out of her skin. 20 something, blonde, pretty, large toothy smile... probably an actress... feh! Her 20 something mop top boyfriend sat in the passenger seat.

"You almost ran me over, you fu cking idiot." I said to the window.
The boyfriend was laughing. That made me feel swell.
She rolls down the window and pokes her head out.
"What's your problem?" She said.
"You still don't know, do you?" I said. "You almost ran me over twice."
With wide eyes, she shrugged.
(Now the rest isn't very PC so forgive me, I almost got hit by a car...)
I continued, "Looks like someone drank her idiot juice today."
"Well, look at me, dear. Obviously I'm sorry." She said.
I think it was the "dear" that ticked me off. That's what I call people when I'm mad with them.
"Listen here, Big Teeth." I squatted down so my eyes were level with hers. "Next time, let your fu cking seeing eye dog drive."
She just sat there with a stunned look on her face. Boyfriend was still laughing.
And I walked off.

I'm horribly shy when it comes to confrontations, but tonight I wasn't. Yeah, I should have let it go, blah blah blah. But, damn, that felt great.

:D

[CoasterMatt]

OMG!! What happened at the Mutaytor show?!? ;)

[Not Afraid]

You GO girl!

[€uroMeinke]

So what happened to the fish?

[BDBopper]

Way to go!

Boy I wish they had seeing eye dogs that could drive...that would make my life a heck of a whole lot easier!

[Isaac]

Bra
Vo !

[~MS~]

There aren't enough props! WTG GC!

[wendybeth]

GC, will you come to my neighborhood and beat up those stupid Starbucks swilling, cell-phone talking soccer moms that try to kill me daily?


:cheers:

[Gemini Cricket]

I think it was the combination of the almost full moon, me not having dinner yet and just general curmudgeonly behavior that did it.

The fish are in the tank now.


And, yes, I will come by, wenchybeth, and slam those soccer moms for ya. :D

[Kevy Baby]

For some reason, the term "justifiable homicide" comes to mind

[Gemini Cricket]

I mean, she almost hit me twice.
What a dinglecheese.

[Chernabog]

OMG! Honey, glad you are okay. Did you get her license and/or call the police?

[Isaac]

Too bad I wasn't there.

You KNOW the hell I'd raise if that ***** did what she did in front of my eyes.

[Gemini Cricket]

OMG! Honey, glad you are okay. Did you get her license and/or call the police?
No. I didn't even think about that.
:D

[Kevy Baby]

OK, I will confess to a crime I committed MANY years ago.

A driver severely pissed me off (I don't remember why). Saw where said person parked. Found four nails (about 3-4 inches). Propped one up behind each tire, leaning against the tire.

While I did not stick around to find out what happened, but I always felt vindicated.

[CoasterMatt]

I don't think it's wise for me to discuss my pedestrian/driver incidents in a public forum :)

[JWBear]

Ever been in a situation, a confrontation maybe, when after it's all over you wish you said something clever during it?

L'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

You GO!!! :snap: :snap: :snap:

[CoasterMatt]

One time when a lady nearly ran me over at a delightful intersection I have to deal with every day, I threw a half full can of soda in through her passenger window (the window was open)- sprayed soda all over her white leather interior. She hardly even paused her phone conversation.

I've banged a few hoods of people who don't seem to understand that you frickin' STOP for a red light and a group of pedestrians trying to cross. One guy tried to get out of his car to confront me, and I took a once in a lifetime chance and slammed him in his own door - the people in the cars behind him were honking their horns, cuz the light had changed.

[NirvanaMan]

u da man.

Yeah that happens to me all the time where you think of something witty and brilliant...immediately after. Congrats on being quick with it.

[BarTopDancer]

WOOHOO Brad! You ROCK!

[3894]

Nicely done. :snap:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Awesome story, WTG! :D



The crazy thing is that I also said what I wanted to say to some jerk yesterday - but I did it at work. :eek: The story isn't worth telling in full, so in short, a lady hung around my desk for hours yesterday being obnoxious, then began insulting and baiting me when I got angry. I was able to keep my mouth shut for a few insults but the fact that this woman was calling me impolite pushed me far enough to say "Coming from you, that means a lot."

Yeah, I'm going in to answer to my supervisors today for that one. Usually I'm very in control, hell, I'm the person they call to deal with crazy people, but this lady....yeech.

[blueerica]

Must spread mojo.

I don't have as much as you deserve on this one, GC. I'm so proud that someone finally stood up to the dingbats in this world. That was awesome!

[katiesue]

Way to go GC!!

[Gemini Cricket]

"Coming from you, that means a lot."
I'm going to use that one next.
:D


Boy, I hope nothing happens today. I'm in even more of a curmudgeonly mood today than yesterday. (iSm says it's a full moon officially tonight. Uh oh.)
:D

I thought my ankle was going to hurt this morning, but it doesn't.
:)

[MouseWife]

:snap: :snap:

Oh, GC, it is such a freakin' pisser when these lamebrained people, oblivious to life around them, almost take YOUR life {or injure you} all because they are so f'in full of themselves!!!!

Like what you discussed, CoasterMatt, that happens to me a lot while out walking. I cross a few very busy streets. These people are running late for work but I don't freakin' care!! So I'm supposed to die because they might be late for work {actually I see this happen as we're driving around, too, people running late}.

I yell at people but the Hubster told me to take it easy. He, though, has thumped peoples' cars, jumped on a few hoods.....

I am glad you are alright, amazing that you could have been seriously hurt because some toothy broad driving the car I would like to have had to talk on the phone while driving.

Watch it today!!

[libraryvixen]

I loved reading this! I'm glad you're okay... I also loved that you called her "Big Teeth".

[JWBear]

Oh... And on behalf of all Mini Cooper drivers worldwide, I appologize for this dim bulb. She does not represnt us all.

[cirquelover]

I'm glad you gave her a piece of your mind! Sadly it probably won't change anything but maybe she'll think twice next time.

[innerSpaceman]

Um, GC ... I have learned the moon is not full until Tomorrow, the 26th.


I suggest everyone else in his path just hide.






On the getting run over side, the crosswalk right outside my building is NOT at a street intersection. It's just a traffic light in the middle of the road, because there's not an intersection for a long distance.


Well, you can imagine how many people (often quite innocently) run that light. It's a busy cross-walk in Century City where thousands of lives are daily at stake.


I'll have to bone up on my bon-mots. I am a fairly witty guy, but I'm in the camp that needs a slight time-warp delay to go back and say the clever thing that occurs to me a minute later.

[Gemini Cricket]

It was interesting for me to find out that my reflexes are pretty quick. It's amazing how fast you can jump if you need to.
I think if I was watching me from across the street, the leap would have looked quite comical.
:D

[DreadPirateRoberts]

It was interesting for me to find out that my reflexes are pretty quick. It's amazing how fast you can jump if you need to.
I think if I was watching me from across the street, the leap would have looked quite comical.
:D

Be careful. DL may want to hire you away for Autopia.

[Gemini Cricket]

Be careful. DL may want to hire you away for Autopia.
lol! :D

My leap wasn't all thaat graceful, now that I think of it. I kind of looked like a giraffe on ice leaping out of the way of an oncoming zamboni.
:D

[Brigitte]

A Zamboni is probably twice the size of a Mini though.

[innerSpaceman]

And G.C. is a tenth the size of a giraffe.



So that all works out mathematically, no?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Oh... And on behalf of all Mini Cooper drivers worldwide, I appologize for this dim bulb. She does not represnt us all.Though you do. ;)

GC - you didn't injure yourself at all, leaping from death? No whiplash next day, I hope?

Thankfully, my coworkers and bosses all understand and I'm not fired. In fact, today I was officially invited to a city council meeting next month to celebrate my 5 years here. They gave me a 5-year pin, and my boss threw confetti at me. :D I guess I'm easily distracted - as soon as I got the pin my day turned right around.

I did jaywalk today though, and was extra careful of Mini Coopers.

[BarTopDancer]

A long time ago when I was still working at BR I had to help the nastiest lady. I don't know what her problem was, but after getting my head bit off over asking her if she wanted a lid for whatever it was she was ordering I finally told her that I didn't get paid enough to deal with her crap.

Same store I used to get crapped on by our cake decorator (god nazi for those of you who remember). I finally grew a set and told her to quit taking her unhappiness with life out on me and to do something about it.

[Gemini Cricket]

GC - you didn't injure yourself at all, leaping from death? No whiplash next day, I hope?
I was totally expecting to wake up with a sore ankle, but I'm fine.

I wished I did one of those cool karate rolls and then boom back on my feet again... but I didn't.
:D

[blueerica]

Haha, BTD's story reminds me of one of the cashiers that works at Longs by my house now. The other day, when I was buying some birthday cards, she suddenly blurted out "I hate it when people have to work like this and don't get paid enough."

She must have been at the end of her rope!

[Kevy Baby]

I finally grew a set...A set of what? Steak knifes? New Orleans Square Trading Pins?

[Kevy Baby]

I used to work in a Mexican food restaurant. We had this one lady who came in frequently and was a complete bitch every time - very rude.

So when I was making her burrito, I took about five jalapeño peppers, chopped them up, and put them in her burrito (seeds and all!).

It was a to-go order.

We never saw her again.

[alphabassettgrrl]

It's nice to know that sometimes you can think of those comments when it's useful. I'm usually in the camp of waking up at 3am with them. I'm glad you're ok, and that your ankle is not hurt.

My latest car issue is I was accused of hitting someone. Truth? She ran into the bike rack on the back of my car. I watched her do it. She had parked next to me, got out, and walked behind me. Smack! I pulled out of the parking space, and she flagged me down to tell me she thought I had hit her.

I hadn't taken the e-brake off yet, though I think the car was in gear and I had my foot on the brake.

Isn't there enough actual stupidity out there without inventing more??