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View Full Version : Jubulationg Hedons – A Primer on Analytic Hedonism


€uroMeinke
03-03-2005, 05:29 PM
Hedon Jubulation

Things can be either pleasurable or unpleasurable. Pleasurable experiences and things bring you hedons; while the unpleasant takes hedons away (sometimes noted as “anti-hedons”). This seemingly simple calculation though, is still quiet complex, as hedons have a curious way of multiplying or sometimes even evaporating. As of yet, no set constant on the amount of hedons in the world has been determined. Many claim the number of hedons could be limitless, but until we develop a more accurate method of jubulating hedons, these questions shall remain unanswered.

One can some times gain hedons through the depletion of hedons from others. This is often the case in practical jokes where the hedon gain is almost always directly proportional to the hedons lost by the victim. (however, a greater number of witnesses could yield overall greater hedons).

Contrary to conventional wisdom, hedons can sometimes be bought. Retail therapy, popular entertainment, drinking, and whoring are all ways of trading cash for hedons – even if it is only a short-term hedon fix.

However, one needn’t have to lose hedons in order for someone to gain them. Communities are filled with situations in which hedons are acquired by both parties in a transaction. The simple smile (which some equate as the smallest unit of hedon) that is returned with a smile is a basic example of hedon reciprocation and multiplication.

Unfortunately, hedons are difficult to store. And even if one has attained the highest possible limit of hedons (should such a limit exist), they can be easily lost to a single hedon depleating experience, or slowly over time through hedon evaporation. Some people are quite skilled at self-generating hedons, but many of us if left alone soon find ourselves in a state of boredom, or hedon stasis.

Thus it is important, to regularly check and jubulate one’s hedon level, as well as the hedon levels of those around you. By keeping this overall level high, society benefits as a whole. Otherwise, society might slip into malaise and boredom – a never-ending funk of anti-hedons. That is why we must keep smiling.

The Physics of Love

Some people equate love with pleasure, while there is an unmistakable correlation, the to are entirely separate in their metaphysical properties.

While debate continues as to whether or not the expression of love is a particle or a wave, we can often plot the love effect as a vector, a ray of love, or if you’ll permit, an amour-ray.

Amour-rays are generated people and certain higher animals, such as household pets. They are usually directed at other people, or creatures. When struck by an amour-ray, hedons are usually produced. (There are circumstances such in unrequited or unwanted love, where the amour-ray might actually result in the production of anti-hedons). The knowing glance from across the room resulting in a sly smile is an example of this amour-ray hedon exchange.

Inanimate objects cannot produce amour-rays on their own. However, sometimes an object might reflect one’s own amour-ray back to one’s self, creating hedons independently. This sort of narcissistic hedonism can be dangerous, as it leads to antisocial behavior and the greater hedon depletion to those around them.

Certain objects, such as photographs, letters, and especially jewelry can absorb amour-rays so then when observed later, the loved one cane be struck by an amour-ray and experience an increase in hedons. Some say, this might be the secret behind a developing a hedon storage system – monumental art work and religious artifacts being examples in attempts to create hedon storage, but these too still suffer from hedon evaporation over time.

While hedon storage continues to be a problem, perhaps hedon generation is an all around better solution. Some have theorized that if we were to bombard ourselves with enough amour-rays, so that we in turn produce reciprocal amour-rays, that the hedons produced might reach a sort of critical mass whereby a perpetual engine of pleasure is created.

Many have experimented with the pleasure engine – but achieving the perpetually of hedon critical mass still has not been produced in a laboratory environment. However, many of us continue the scientific pursuit of happiness though analytic hedonism.

Ghoulish Delight
03-03-2005, 05:36 PM
One can some times gain hedons through the depletion of hedons from others. This is often the case in practical jokes where the hedon gain is almost always inversely proportional to the hedons lost by the victim. (however, a greater number of witnesses could yield overall greater hedons).
A minor technical quibble, what you describe is a directly proportional relationship between hedon gain and hedon loss (i.e., the more lost by one, the more gained by the other), rather than inversely proportional.

mousepod
03-03-2005, 05:51 PM
Brilliant! A couple of questions for Dr. €uro:

- Are all hedons alike? Are they like calories or ergs, or are there qualitative differences between different types of hedons?

- What about hedon storage units that become more powerful over time, such as the first VU album or the works of Van Gogh?

I must know!

lizziebith
03-03-2005, 06:12 PM
Is giving mojo for hedons redundant? Ah, who cares! :snap: :snap: :snap:

Cadaverous Pallor
03-03-2005, 06:26 PM
I am totally digging this. :snap:

Where's your bibliography, asks the librarian? ;) I did just start Nietzsche, so any additional hedon research will have to go on the list.

€uroMeinke
03-03-2005, 06:40 PM
A minor technical quibble, what you describe is a directly proportional relationship between hedon gain and hedon loss (i.e., the more lost by one, the more gained by the other), rather than inversely proportional.

Hmmm, I shall have to give my graduate assistents all spankings for letting that pass - you are in fact correct and I shall edit immediately.

€uroMeinke
03-03-2005, 06:54 PM
Brilliant! A couple of questions for Dr. €uro:

- Are all hedons alike? Are they like calories or ergs, or are there qualitative differences between different types of hedons?



A hedon is the most basic unit of pleasure - but what that precisely is, is still up to debate. For awhile those in the analytic hedonist community accepted a smile as the most basic unit of pleasure and hence a hedon.

All went well until the first international conference in which it was discovered that Americans and British smiled differently. Apparently, the British felt the American smile was "faked" more often than not and led to suspicion that the Americans were pretending to have more hedons that they actually did.

The American's, on the other hand felt the British full mouth smile was excessively wasting hedons and thought they might be taunting the Americans in the same way the Pound is at a better exchange rate than the dollar.

There was also a small French contingent that insisted that hedons required an embrace and at least one kiss on the cheek, but they were overshadowed by the other conflicts.

All parties eventually agreed that it might have something to do with the eyes and are currently seeking grant funds to explore that proposition.



- What about hedon storage units that become more powerful over time, such as the first VU album or the works of Van Gogh?

I must know!

That is an interesting question. There are those that theorize that such things like works of art recieved huge amounts amour-rays in their creation that sometimes are only released at certain times of history, or recieved by certain people.

Unfortunately, the only way to get a definitive answer would be to build a hedon accelator and bombard the works with pleasure until they broke down and released all stored hedons and amour-rays. The process of course would render the VU album unplayable and the cover art tarnished.

Ghoulish Delight
03-03-2005, 07:10 PM
For awhile those in the analytic hedonist community accepted a smile as the most basic unit of pleasure and hence a hedon.In that case, how many smiles equal an orgasm?

€uroMeinke
03-03-2005, 07:18 PM
In that case, how many smiles equal an orgasm?

Orgasms are far to unreliable across populations. Some can achieve orgasm rather quickly, resulting in dissappointment, and in some rare occasions anti-hedons.

Now for yourselves, you can jubulate the hedons in your own orgasms by simply counting your smile states. In this situation it helps to have a partner who can document your smile progession and subsequent hedon accumulation. Be warned though that your hedon to orgasm ration may change over time and social situations.

blueerica
03-03-2005, 08:13 PM
Oh, my hedons increased exponentially just reading this.

Thank you, Dr. €!

Tramspotter
03-03-2005, 09:04 PM
While contemplating such things albiet in less depth and more on a practical level with hedonistic persuits the greeks experiments in excessive decadence failed. Personified by the empire of Athens which was crushed by the ultra utilitarian and practical sandle wearing citizens of Spara.

True happines I have found isn't found in Hedonism.

A damn good time however can and should be had.

Cadaverous Pallor
03-03-2005, 09:20 PM
While contemplating such things albiet in less depth and more on a practical level with hedonistic persuits the greeks experiments in excessive decadence failed. Personified by the empire of Athens which was crushed by the ultra utilitarian and practical sandle wearing citizens of Spara. Ah, but I bet they had fun while it lasted. :cheers:

blueerica
03-03-2005, 09:30 PM
:cheers:

wendybeth
03-03-2005, 09:50 PM
Well, the Spartans didn't exactly last long, either. Perhaps they derived their hedons by exploiting the blissed out state of other societies, and then fell victim to an excess of their own particular brand of hedonism? Or perhaps their asshole karma simply caught up with them.

Fantastic thread, Doctor.:snap:

Tramspotter
03-03-2005, 11:46 PM
The Persians were the bigger Assholes karma wise in the region.

Just saying the hight of pure indulgence mixed with human nature can quickly lead to narcissism, hubris, boredom and ultimately ruin of the idealized aesthetic beauty in what ever form it might take.

Not saying don't get your swank on just advocating moderation as opposed to... well won't list all the isms.

Just that hedonism has no historical successes as a basis for society that I can think of. Excessive decadent pursuits by ruling class or majority of the citizen class usually is the last stage of and harbinger for the fall of that civilization.

Erica is saying quit being a bummer but I really am at odds philosophically with that crazy German and I'm not talking about*€M :)

For fun and the pursuit of it without obligation is great. but as a philosophy perhaps interesting intellectually and fine personally if done in moderation but enlarged to a society the most un-admirable philosophies and states have sprung from having utopia as a goal.

If €M's brand though can circumvent human nature and all historical examples then more power to it...

So on second thought

Bring on the naked cream covered concubine waitresses. I wish to be chemically altered then dine at the finest all you can eat southern deep fried/multiethnic /sushi/chocolate theamed desert bar buffet while watching porn on a 64" plasma screen while sitting in a Jello filled egg shaped chair of the future. All while getting a manicure, massage, and BJ

wendybeth
03-04-2005, 12:26 AM
Ah, but the pursuit of Hedons can arguably be described as the primary motivation for our existence. I suppose excessive Hedon seeking can lead to decadence, so perhaps Aristotle was right, even if he was Greek.

Cadaverous Pallor
03-04-2005, 11:40 AM
Just that hedonism has no historical successes as a basis for society that I can think of. Couldn't one easily say the same for puritanism? Hedonistic societies like Greece and the later days of Rome lasted a long time before finally falling. Plus, they started out disciplined and fell into hedonism. The Brits kept a stiff upper lip but eventually shrank back into thier territory just like the Romans. They attained the same success level as Rome, yes?

I'd say at least part of America is following the same course. In order to be the world power, a country must have a pretty badass work ethic. Eventually, the society tires of this pace and allows themselves to have fun. All the signs are pointing to China to be the next world mover and shaker, due to their unflappable work ethic.

The question then becomes, is this a bad thing? Should we dedicate ourselves to work or play? Are we ok with not being the puritans we used to be?

From my point of view, fvck it. Let someone else lead the world, as long as they don't interfere with our deal. Let's grab a bottle of wine and find an orgy to attend. :cheers: Save a seat for me at that buffet, Tramspotter, all this primal gratification makes me hungry.

€uroMeinke
03-04-2005, 01:11 PM
Friends, analytic hedonism is a science, not a system of government. Blaming it for the demise of greek culture is like blaming the greek's obsession with Geometry? Perhaps their ancient cultures would still be here to daqy if they stoped trying to calculate pi and construct golden rectangles?

blueerica
03-04-2005, 02:56 PM
I like the concept of a pi.

I also like the concepts of pie.