View Full Version : One Above All
Gemini Cricket
03-03-2005, 10:36 PM
So, I have a feeling that this thread is going to sound really, really weird so I apologize in advance.
Anyway, I thought of something interestingly wonderful and I had to share.
And, no, I'm not doobing out right now.
Here goes:
Somewhere in this world lives the tallest man. I mean, if all the men on Earth were lined up by height, someone would be the tallest. He could tell every single person he met, 'I'm taller than you.'
Somewhere in this world lives the strongest woman. If all the women in the world were put into a room, she could lift more than any of the rest of them.
Somewhere in this world lives the person who has had more sex partners than everyone else in the world.
Someone has the largest penis.
Someone has the longest hair.
Someone on our planet has spoken the most words of anyone else in the world.
Someone has walked the farthest.
Someone has hiccuped more than anyone else in the world.
There is one person on the planet who is older than all of us.
Someone holds the record for having farted more than anyone else alive.
Someone has said the word "the" more than everyone else in the world.
Don't ask me my I thought of this. It's just tripping me out. And I think it's pretty cool to think about.
We're talking about an ultimate Guiness Book of World Records that was 100% accurate.
Okay, I'm done. Welcome to Brad's Head.
:)
wendybeth
03-03-2005, 10:41 PM
It is a cool thought, and it's true. Logistically difficult to prove, but true.
The Girl would qualify for this one: " Someone holds the record for having farted more than anyone else alive." Or she will, and probably very soon.:rolleyes:
mousepod
03-03-2005, 10:45 PM
...and since there are more people alive today than ever lived in all of history combined (I think that's true), then what's the possibility that many of these all-time record holders are all alive RIGHT NOW?
(BTW, I'm not "doobing out" either)
lizziebith
03-03-2005, 10:55 PM
Someone out there, right now, has typed the letter "a" more than any of us can imagine...and might have done it poetically, to boot! :)
But it prolly wasn't me...
Sheila
03-03-2005, 11:09 PM
GC, you're not alone in this line of thought at all. I've thought about this a lot!
Having spent much of my adult life as an actress/singer, trudging from one audition to another, I've found out one thing that is very, very true: there is alway someone who is better than you, prettier than you, more talented than you. Conversely, there is something that you do that is much better than how others do it.
As a raging perfectionist, I found that I took a lot of comfort when I realized the above. I just try to do the best I can do and take pride in those things I do well.
And be profoundly humbled when I walk into an audition and find 50 clones of myself. That is both scary and funny. And totally, colossally WEIRD!
mousepod
03-03-2005, 11:12 PM
"She can sing, dance, act and holds the record for having farted more than anyone else alive! That's a quadruple threat!"
That's the kind of talent that most people would keep secret...
Cadaverous Pallor
03-03-2005, 11:28 PM
I love thoughts like this, GC.
I've always loved thinking about truly unknowable facts. My basic example is this. There are an exact number of spiders living within a mile radius of me. No one can ever tabulate this number, but it DOES exist.
There are tons of such numbers and absolutes that exist that we will never know. The amount of information we will never know totally dwarfs the amount that we do know.
Your list includes lots of unknowable facts, how cool is that? :snap:
Ghoulish Delight
03-03-2005, 11:34 PM
This made me think of a passage from The Phantom Tollbooth. Actually, two passages. And I happen to have the book sitting right in front of me, so I'll transcribe one of them (anyone who knows the book I'm sure can guess the other I'm thinking of):
"Pardon me," said Milo to the first man who happened by; "can you tell me where I am?"
"Pardon me," replied the man; "can you tell me who I am?"
The man was dressed in a shaggy tweed jacket and knickers with long woolen stockings and a cap that had a peak both front and back, and he seemed as confused as he could be.
"You must know who you are," said Milo impatiently.
"You must know where you are," he replied with equal annoyance.
"Oh dear, this is going to be difficult," Milo whispered to Tock. "I wonder if we can help him."
They conferred for a few minutes and finallt the bug looked up and said, "Can you descripe yourself?"
"Yes, indeed," the man replied happily. "I'm as tall as can be" --and he grew straight up until all that could be seen of him were his shoes and stockings--"and I'm as short as can be"--and he shrank down to the size of a pebble. "I'm as generous as can be," he said, handing each of them a large red apple, "and I'm as selfish as can be," he snarled, grabbing them back again.
"I'm as strong as can be," he roared, lifting an enourmous boulder over his head, "and I'm as weak as can be," he gasped, staggering under the weight of his hat. "I'm as smart as can be, he remarked in tweve different languages, "and I'm as stupid as can be," he admitted, putting both feet in one shoe.
"I'm as graceful as can be," he hummed, balancing on one toe, "and I'm as clumsy as can be," he cried, sticking his thumb in his eye. "I'm as fast as can be," he announced, running around the island twice in no time at all, "and I'm as slow as can be," he complained, waving good-by to a snail. "Is that any help to you?"
Once again they conferred in busy whispers until all three agreed.
"It's really very simple," said the Humbug, twirling his cane.
"If everything you say is true," added Tock.
"Then, without a doubt," Milo concluded brightly, "you must be Canby."
Motorboat Cruiser
03-03-2005, 11:35 PM
You sure you're not doobin' out, GC? ;)
Just as fascinating to me is that there are plenty of facts that we didn't know in the past that we do now. Slowly but surely, we get answers, at least to some of our questions. We learn a little more every day, just not as quickly as we would sometimes like. I mean, who's to say that one day we won't have the means technologically to know how many spiders are in a one-mile radius.
Great thread, GC!
lizziebith
03-03-2005, 11:38 PM
I should probably mention here that I have, as pets, 7 spiders.
Carry on...
Tramspotter
03-04-2005, 12:05 AM
I should probably mention here that I have, as pets, 7 spiders.
I'm assuming tarantulas.
My HS friend Nick has had a BlackWiddow he kept it on his desk at work for quite some time I should ask if its still alive it was getting rather big.
He holds the record for craziest (read fearless) mofo I know.
SacTown Chronic
03-04-2005, 07:43 AM
Right now, as I type this, someone on earth is being murdered.
Someone is getting their heart broken.
Someone just found out that their spouse/mate/lover has been cheating on them.
Someone is getting ripped off by a con artist.
Someone is being raped.
A child is being abused.
Someone just got fired.
Someone is starving.
A homeless person is swallowing his pride and is begging for loose change.
The world is about non-stop pain and suffering. It must hurt to be God.
Right now, as I type this, someone is falling in love for the first time.
Someone just got a promotion.
Someone is having their wedding proposal accepted.
A child is being hugged.
Someone is having a baby.
Someone is seeing an ocean for the first time.
Some geek is finally losing his virginity.
Someone is buying their first home.
Someone's life is being saved by medical technology.
The world is about non-stop joy and love. It must be wonderful being God.
Matterhorn Fan
03-04-2005, 07:45 AM
The Phantom Tollbooth is a masterpiece.
"Remarkable view," announced the Humbug, bouncing from the car as if he were responsible for the whole thing.
"Isn't it beautiful?" gasped Milo.
"Oh, I don't know," answered a strange voice. "It's all in the way you look at things."
"I beg your pardon?" said Milo, for he didn't see who had spoken.
"I said it's all in how you look at things," repeated the voice.
Milo turned around and found himself staring at two very neatly poilished bwoen shoes, for standing directly in front of him (if you can use the word "standing" for anyone suspended in mid-air) was another boy just about his age, whose feet were easily three feet off the ground.
"For instance," continued the boy, "if you happened to like deserts, you might not think this was beautiful at all."
"That's true," said the Humbug, who didn't like to contradict anyone whose feet were that far off the ground.
"For instance," said the boy again, "if Christmas trees were people and people were Christmas trees, we'd all be chopped down, put up in the living room, and covered with tinsel, while the trees opened our presents."
"What does that have to do with it?" asked Milo.
"Nothing at all," he answered, "but it's an interesting possibility, don't you think?"
"How do you manage to stand up there?" asked Milo, for this was the subject which most interested him.
"I about to ask you a similar question," answered the boy, "for you must be much older than you look to be standing on the ground."
"What do you mean?" Milo asked.
"Well," said the boy, "in my family everyone is born in the air, with his head at exactly the height it's going to be when he's an adult, and then we all grow toward the ground. When we're fully grown up or, as you can see, grown down, our feet finally touch. Of course, there are a few of us whose feet never reach the ground no matter how old we get, but I suppose it's the same in every family."
He hopped a few steps in the air, skipped back to where he started, and then began again.
"You certainly must be very old to have reached the ground already."
"Oh no," said Milo seriously, "In my family we all start on the ground and grow up, and we never know how far until we actually get there."
"What a silly system." The boy laughed. "Then you head keeps changing its height and you always see things in a different way? Why, when you're fifteen things won't look at all the way they did when you were ten, and at twenty everything will change again."
"I suppose so," replied Milo, for he had never really thought about the matter.
"We always see things from the same angle," the boy continued. "It's much less trouble that way. Besides, it makes more sense to grown down and not up. When you're very young, you can never hurt yourself falling down if you're in mid-air, and you certainly can't get into trouble for scuffing up your shoes or marking the floor if there's nothing to scuff them on and the floor is three feet away."
"That's very true," thought Tock, who wondered how the dogs in the family liked the arrangement.
Ghoulish Delight
03-04-2005, 08:30 AM
Ooh, that's a good one too (but not the other scene I was thinking of).
Gemini Cricket
03-04-2005, 08:44 AM
I love those 'Phantom Tollbooth' snippets. They're muy cool.
I was just thinking back to the movie 'Amelie' when she wondered how many people in Paris were having orgasms at that exact second. Then the director shows us who they are as they're having them. Love that.
When I mentioned this to Ralphie, he said the same thing that Sac said about how many babies were being born and how many deaths. He also pointed out that one really couldn't say 'Somewhere in the world someone is the ugliest person on earth' because the definition of ugly varies from person to person.
I wonder if there are usually more births happening each year than deaths. I hear that there was, but I'm not sure. Interesting.
:)
mousepod
03-04-2005, 08:51 AM
I wonder if there are usually more births happening each year than deaths. I hear that there was, but I'm not sure. Interesting.
:)
Yes. That one's true. Hence my earlier post that there are more people alive today than ever lived.
Thanks for The Phantom Tollbooth. Haven't read that one since 4th grade. I'd better pick up a copy.
Matterhorn Fan
03-05-2005, 08:26 AM
Ooh, that's a good one too (but not the other scene I was thinking of).I figured it probably wasn't, but it's a section of that book that I really like. I also like the Island of Conclusions and ah, well, everything in that book.
Ghoulish Delight
03-05-2005, 10:21 AM
and ah, well, everything in that book.It's an amazing book, I've read my copy to death (literally, it's hardly attached to the spine anymore). The other scene that this thread brought to mind was Alec (the tallest midget, the shortest giant, the fattest thin man, and the thinnest fat man).
Matterhorn Fan
03-05-2005, 02:03 PM
Alec's the kid who's floating in the air. The smallest giant is in the chapter that follows--I've checked for his name, and it looks like he isn't given one.
Ghoulish Delight
03-05-2005, 04:36 PM
Oops, you're right. I did a quick scan for his name, and saw "Alec" forgetting that he tagged along with them for that bit.
alphabassettgrrl
03-06-2005, 07:52 PM
>>"What a silly system." The boy laughed. "Then you head keeps changing its height and you always see things in a different way? Why, when you're fifteen things won't look at all the way they did when you were ten, and at twenty everything will change again."<<
What a fascinating quote! :) Thank you, I may have to pick up a copy of Phantom Tollbooth.
Gemini Cricket
03-06-2005, 08:22 PM
Thank you, I may have to pick up a copy of Phantom Tollbooth. [/COLOR]
Totally. I'm curious about this one as well. It sounds like it may be right up my alley.
:)
Matterhorn Fan
03-06-2005, 10:42 PM
Go forth and purchase! It's totally swanky, and has some great illustrations. :)
flippyshark
03-06-2005, 10:51 PM
I second or third the Phantom Tollbooth nomination. Great book.
This thread reminds me of something I'm pretty sure came from George Carlin, but I can't quote it directly, and I'm only half sure it was him, but, basically:
"Somewhere in the world is the worst doctor."
Anyone have the whole routine on that one? Is it George? It's certainly a scary thought.
Matterhorn Fan
03-06-2005, 11:00 PM
I know that guy. His name is Dr. Nick.
flippyshark
03-06-2005, 11:00 PM
Wait a sec. I found it. Apparently it is George Carlin:
"Do you realize that someone in the world is the worst doctor? Has to be. Process of elimination. Sooner or later you’re going to find the worst doctor. The weird part is someone has an appointment tomorrow"
sleepyjeff
03-06-2005, 11:37 PM
Almost everyone on Earth has 4 Grandparents
4x4=16
16x4=64
64x4=256
256x4=1024
1024x4=4096
4096x4=16,384
16,384x4=65,536
65,536x4=262,144
262,144x4=1.04 million
1.04x4=4.16 million
4.16x4=16.64 million
16.64x4=66.56 million
66.56x4=266.24 million
266.24x4=1.06 billion
1.06x4=4.24 billion
4.24x4=16.96 billion
That is 16 generations ago or about the time the American colonies were being formed.......what was the world population then? Surely not 16 Billion?
interesting math, but the part that isn't in there is the fact that several families had/have more then 1 or 2 children and some had over 5 children. So that formula for backtracking the population isn't quite scientifically sound(and for far more reasons then the before mentioned, just don't feel like thinking that much into it right now).
sleepyjeff
03-07-2005, 02:00 AM
interesting math, but the part that isn't in there is the fact that several families had/have more then 1 or 2 children and some had over 5 children. So that formula for backtracking the population isn't quite scientifically sound(and for far more reasons then the before mentioned, just don't feel like thinking that much into it right now).
...or maybe(maebe) everyone is everyones cousin :D
Cadaverous Pallor
03-07-2005, 11:34 AM
...or maybe(maebe) everyone is everyones cousin :DYes, we are all related to some degree. Name is right, there is faulty logic in there.
mousepod
03-07-2005, 11:49 AM
Great thread. Some of the recent posts have forced me into research mode, and almost immediately I discovered that an observation I made early on was absolutely wrong. I said that there are more people alive today than ever lived. Apparently, this idea comes from some zero population growth people in the 1970's. This article How Many People Have Ever Lived On Earth? (http://www.prb.org/Content/ContentGroups/PTarticle/0ct-Dec02/How_Many_People_Have_Ever_Lived_on_Earth_.htm) seems to make a lot more sense.
As far as the question of ancestry, I went right to The Straight Dope and turned up this page: 2, 4, 8, 16 ... how can you always have MORE ancestors as you go back in time? (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_083b.html)
This kind of discussion makes my brain happy. :)
Ghoulish Delight
03-07-2005, 12:04 PM
Aha! I figured out one bit of flaw in sleepyjeff's breakdown. Each step is about having 4 grandparents so it's a 2 generation jump, not one. So your calculations represent 32 generaions, not 16. So you're talking WAAAAAY back, long enough that it's absolutely a guarantee that generaitonal lines and branches of trees will have corssed several times over. Of course, so distantly as to not matter from a gene-pool perspective, but that's why the numbers seem so out of whack.
Cadaverous Pallor
03-07-2005, 12:20 PM
Great thread. Some of the recent posts have forced me into research mode, and almost immediately I discovered that an observation I made early on was absolutely wrong. I said that there are more people alive today than ever lived. Oh, so you meant it that way. I was confused. :)
I'm glad my husband noticed the grandparents jump. Can't believe I didn't notice that.
sleepyjeff
03-07-2005, 07:39 PM
Aha! I figured out one bit of flaw in sleepyjeff's breakdown. Each step is about having 4 grandparents so it's a 2 generation jump, not one. So your calculations represent 32 generaions, not 16. So you're talking WAAAAAY back, long enough that it's absolutely a guarantee that generaitonal lines and branches of trees will have corssed several times over. Of course, so distantly as to not matter from a gene-pool perspective, but that's why the numbers seem so out of whack.
:blush: .....So we all may have Plantegenet blood running thru our vains ;)
tracilicious
03-08-2005, 11:18 AM
This thread made me think that somewhere out there is the person with more message board posts than anyone else. I wonder if we could find out?
Ghoulish Delight
03-08-2005, 11:23 AM
Nigel2
Eliza Hodgkins 1812
03-08-2005, 11:55 AM
Ah, the "est" of this and that. Brightest. Fastest. Prettiest. Meanest. Kindest. Hungriest.
I do like thinking about these things too.
And then I get depressed thinking about all the people who are "est" than me, and I tell myself one thing:
We can't all be Albert Einstein and we can't all be Helen of Troy.
Then I take a look myself, my outsides and my insides, and I think of a good friend's family motto: Good enough!
There's a loose floorboard. You nail it down. It still kinda sticks up? Will probably come undone again at a later date? Whatever. Good enough!
It's prom. Your hair looks great, your dress is pretty, but you've got a sty and you forgot to shave your pits? Good enough!
You got a 75% on the math quiz, but the one problem that really gave you a headache you got correct, so GOOD ENOUGH!
And whenever I’m jealous of some girl because she’s better looking than me, and I figure the guy I like at the party would prefer to saddle up to her cause she’s so alluring and smells like a rose, and I can be awkward in a crowd and smell like fear, I like to remember a story another friend told me. She was at a party in NYC when she found herself socializing with her date’s friend. She made some comment about all the pretty girls (models mostly) at the party, and he turned to her, smiled and said, “Show me a beautiful woman, and I’ll show you a man tired of fvcking her.”
Maybe the guy was a d*ck, but I found that amusing and comforting. Even the pretty girls aren’t “est” enough for some people.
So, SCREW “est”.
Fast enough. Tall enough. Hungry enough. Pretty enough. Healthy enough. Feisty enough. Smart enough. Talented enough.
Enough is enough for me.
Gemini Cricket
03-08-2005, 12:44 PM
I guess the "est" that I was thinking of was more of the kind you could prove. Like given some mondo computer and spy tools or something I could figure out who the tallest man was. But prettiest, talented, feisty... that's subjective.
I like the 'good enough' mantra though. That works for me. Most of the time.
:)
Eliza Hodgkins 1812
03-08-2005, 01:11 PM
I guess the "est" that I was thinking of was more of the kind you could prove. Like given some mondo computer and spy tools or something I could figure out who the tallest man was. But prettiest, talented, feisty... that's subjective.
I like the 'good enough' mantra though. That works for me. Most of the time.
:)
Oh, I do know what you meant. I just took a further leap into subjective comparisons because things like "craziest Roman Emperor" and "nerdiest Star Wars nerd" tend to interest or amuse me more than the "ests" that can actually be determined/quantified, etc. Heh.
But I do think it would be cool to know wh’s fastest at doing complicated long-division problems. And I'd certainly like to see the tallest person in the world. I went to a freak show during a Santa Sangre festival in NYC. Boasted of having the tiniest woman in the world. She was awfully tiny, all dressed up in a tiny pink ruffled dress and sitting (I’m pretty sure she couldn’t stand on her own) on a tiny pink couch. Didn’t seem to know understand English and I worried that she’d been enslaved. But who do you call? Anyway, I paid a dollar to see her and all I wanted to do was cry, tuck her under my arm, and rescue her, even though I couldn’t be certain that she wasn’t happy, or that her life in the “carnival” wasn’t better than what she had going on at home. I felt guilty for paying that $1, a dollar I wasn’t even sure she’d ever see.
But at least I can boast that I saw the tiniest woman, even if it’s not true.
€uroMeinke
03-08-2005, 01:22 PM
Somewhere there is someone with the most hedons...
Kevy Baby
10-13-2008, 07:27 PM
Because of this post (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/showthread.php?p=245804#post245804), I was lead to this old thread (it was because of the image in Name's (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/member.php?u=18) signature - BTW: where the heck did he go?).
I have to add my favorite (I believe the genesis for this is courtesy of George Carlin, but I am not sure):
"Think about how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of everyone is dumber than that!"
__________________________________
But I also wanted to dig up this post so that Tori could see what her mother was saying about her three years ago:
The Girl would qualify for this one: " Someone holds the record for having farted more than anyone else alive." Or she will, and probably very soon.:rolleyes:
__________________________________
Then
This thread made me think that somewhere out there is the person with more message board posts than anyone else. I wonder if we could find out?Nigel2I believe the correct answer would be this person (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/member.php?u=2).
__________________________________
And finally, I believe the poster is the answer to his own query:Somewhere there is someone with the most hedons...
Betty
10-14-2008, 06:07 AM
I was all happy - SacTown is back! Then I realized that you'd dredged up this old thread and went to the very end to see just why... and then I laughed at the farting thing as well.
blueerica
10-14-2008, 06:59 AM
Haha... ditto your sentiments, Betty. Where did he go to? I figured I must have missed him because I don't generally go into the political threads.
I like this thread. How long ago it was, and how so much has changed for so many of us...
Morrigoon
10-14-2008, 09:52 AM
I don't think I ever saw this thread the first time around, thanks for dredging it up!
Here's something to chew on: most of the people who are "est"s experience great pain and/or anguish as a result of their "est"ness. Take the world's tallest woman, Yao Defen (http://shanghaiist.com/2006/06/16/yao_defen_needs.php), for example. However much we might like being tall, would we trade places with her? Probably not. How about world's fattest man (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-553731/The-worlds-fattest-man-loses-half-body-weight--weighs-50-stone.html)? Nope, lot of pain there too. In fact, I daresay even if we found world's most beautiful woman, we'd find a hoard of suffering attached to that title, either as a result of the effort required to maintain such beauty, or a result of the inappropriate behavior of others towards her, who fail to see her for anything other than her physical appearance.
Superlatives are cool, when you aren't it.
Kevy Baby
10-14-2008, 09:59 AM
While I often wonder what it would be like to have a larger penis, I feel pretty confident in saying that I wouldn't want the world's largest penis.
Cadaverous Pallor
10-14-2008, 11:34 AM
Heh, I just mojoed GC for the OP before scrolling down and seeing that hey....I posted here....in 2005. :)
Gemini Cricket
10-14-2008, 11:55 AM
The funny thing is I remember exactly where I was when I thought about posting this to the LoT. I was walking from the Monterey Bay Aquarium to my car parked near Frodo's vet's office and was thinking about a friend of mine who is 6'9".
:)
Kevy Baby
10-14-2008, 12:24 PM
Heh, I just mojoed GC for the OP before scrolling down and seeing that hey....I posted here....in 2005. :)If you had mojo'd him in 2005 for the OP, would you have been able to mojo him for that same post three years later? I am pretty sure that one can't give mojo for the same post twice, but I don't know if that info would have carried over on the VB updates.
Just one of those odd curiosities that occupy my brain.
wendybeth
10-14-2008, 12:26 PM
Because of this post (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/showthread.php?p=245804#post245804), I was lead to this old thread (it was because of the image in Name's (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/member.php?u=18) signature - BTW: where the heck did he go?).
I have to add my favorite (I believe the genesis for this is courtesy of George Carlin, but I am not sure):
"Think about how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of everyone is dumber than that!"
__________________________________
But I also wanted to dig up this post so that Tori could see what her mother was saying about her three years ago:
__________________________________
Then
I believe the correct answer would be this person (http://www.loungeoftomorrow.com/LoT/member.php?u=2).
__________________________________
And finally, I believe the poster is the answer to his own query:
Shyt-stirring bastard. ;) :p
Actually, Tori was amused. She is 13, after all.
Kevy Baby
10-14-2008, 12:37 PM
Shyt-stirring bastard. ;) :pMy work here is done :D
tracilicious
10-14-2008, 08:13 PM
Where the hell is Sactown anyways?
And where's Mickeylumbo?
Who else are we missing?
Kevy Baby
10-14-2008, 08:23 PM
And where's Mickeylumbo?He has been working his tuckus off and enjoying time with his honey.
JWBear
10-14-2008, 08:28 PM
Where the hell is Sactown anyways?
In Central California, north of Stockton. ;)
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