Spank him!

[Betty]

Suspended For No Spanking

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. - A six-year-old boy has been suspended from a Christian school in Illinois after his mother refused to spank him.

That's according to the mother. Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson says her son had been piling up disciplinary notes for such offenses as talking out of turn, chewing gum, and bringing toys to school.

She says she knew he was a disciplinary problem, but she never anticipated what occurred on Wednesday. She says when she arrived at Schaumburg Christian School to pick the boy up, an assistant administrator ordered her to spank him. When she refused, the official said her son was suspended.

The next day, the mother withdrew the first-grader from the school


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What do you think of that!? I know that any school that "ordered" me to do *anything* would get an earful. Just where do schools get off thinking that they can tell parents to spank their kids. Now - I haven't spanked in a long time - but both my kids have been spanked before. However, I woudn't think of spanking them for bringing toys to school or talking out of turn. I say that the guy that ordered the Mom to spank should be spanked himself. Or maybe he'd like that. :eek:

How 'bout you? Your child's school ever "order" you to do something?

[Gemini Cricket]

The mother did the right thing. And no school, private or otherwise, should ever dictate anything to a parent. Especially spanking a kid. Yuck.

[mhrc4]

should have spanked the assistant administrator, upside the head.

if you ask me.

[dsnylndmom]

Oh that's just wrong, no school is going to tell me when and where to spank my child.

[Ghoulish Delight]

For the record, she KNEW the school had that policy. They make enrolees sign an agreement. The mother claims she didn't sign the agreement because she does not believe in spanking, but I highly doubt that. If she hadn't, either the school wouldn't have allowed them in, or they would have had to make some other deal as to how to handle it. There's no way they have that policy and then just kinda let someone not sign it.

[tracilicious]

I agree with GD. While I think it is an idiotic policy for a school to have, it is a private Christian school that appears to state it's policies plainly in the handbook. The article I read said that the mother claimed to know about the policy, but that it didn't say anything about suspension. My bet is that the mother knew the policy and disagreed with it, but like the academic program at the school and didn't figure she would ever have a problem. I would have done the same thing in her shoes though as far as withdrawing him. Not that you'd catch me enrolled in that school in the first place.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I'd only write to mirror what GD and Traci said.

Though I do think it sounds like the kid deserved the spanking he won't be getting.

[tracilicious]

I'd only write to mirror what GD and Traci said.

Though I do think it sounds like the kid deserved the spanking he won't be getting.


I'd agree that the kid does sound like he needs more discipline, but there are so many more effective ways to handle it. The article mentioned that his parents are going through a divorce, so he's probably acting out a bit, other than that his offenses are being chatty, chewing gum, and bringing toys to school. Most six year olds I know of are chatty, and I'm sure that first grade teachers have some way to deal with it that doesn't involve hitting. The gum and the toys the mom should just be more vigilant about making sure he doesn't bring them.

He doesn't sound like a delinquent (why does that look spelled wrong?), he just sounds like a six year old whose life is going through a lot of changes. I really don't see what good it would do to tell him, "You've committed several offenses over the past few weeks, now I'm going to hit you for them, don't do anything on this list again." :confused:

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the "every spanking is abuse" camp. Though I don't use that form of punishment because I don't think it teaches a darn thing. My point is that one can have a disciplined, well behaved kid without ever raising a hand to them.

[Prudence]

If that really is the school policy, I find it astonishing that other parents thought it was a good idea to allow the school to dictate the manner in which the parents would discipline their own children. Does the school also set bedtimes and monitor after-school snacks?

[€uroMeinke]

I can't help but think of Milgram's controversial experiment in which test subjects would give presumably leathal doses of electric shocks to another presumed test subject all under the direction of a man in a white lab coat.

Of course the experiment demonstrated the danger of obediance and authority, but the test was conducted among presumed stranges. How much easier it is to hurt strangers than loved one's? I think we should turn this principles office into a test lab to answer that question.

Fascinating the things you can get away with when people think you have power.

[Tref]

For the record, she KNEW the school had that policy. They make enrolees sign an agreement. The mother claims she didn't sign the agreement ...

Hmm, this is interesting peek into the mind-set of a few of you. Well, she has to beat her child, I mean, she did sign the papers right? That's legal binding stuff, that is! Methinks I am not the only one here who has signed schoolastic entry forms without fully reading each clause ... Even still, I would have taken the administrator aside and told him what I was going to do with that contract is he ever asked me to hit my child again. Then again, I might not have been so polite.

She did the right thing.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Hmm, this is interesting peek into the mind-set of a few of you. Well, she has to beat her child, I mean, she did sign the papers right? That's legal binding stuff, that is! Methinks I am not the only one here who has signed schoolastic entry forms without fully reading each clause ... Even still, I would have taken the administrator aside and told him what I was going to do with that contract is he ever asked me to hit my child again. Then again, I might not have been so polite.

She did the right thing.Sorry, but she knew the rules coming in. I'm not saying I agree with it, and I would never sign my child up for a school like that, but that's part of the agreement she made with the school. She can take it or leave it. She chose to leave it, and that's fine. I'm baffled why she would have signed up for that school in the first place. I don't care how good the education is, if they told me, "You are going to have to sign a paper that says you will do something that you completely disagree with," I wouldn't enroll my kid.

And spankin' ain't beatin'. Spanking has long been upheld in courts as not child abuse. So if a private entity wants to require a legal act part of their rules for entry, they have every right to.

[Tref]

GD, I think you'd make a fine office supervisor. Myself, I would have signed it anyway. I don't care. I'll deal with each issue as it is presented to me. Until then, the kid gets a good edu-macation.

[Ghoulish Delight]

GD, I think you'd make a fine office supervisor. Myself, I would have signed it anyway. I don't care. I'll deal with each issue as it is presented to me. Until then, the kid gets a good edu-macation.But this lady never said, "I didn't know about the policy." She claims she never signed it. I'm not buying it. The spanking rule is part of the school's overall agreement, not a separate thing to sign. There's no WAY a school lets someone in without signing the agreement. And, according to administrators, they specifically mention the spanking thing and tell them that the other option is suspension. So she knew about it, and enrolled him anyway. I can't sympathize with her tears and outrage for dealing with exactly what she was told she would have to deal with.

[tracilicious]

While I agree that it is a bit ridiculous to agree to something and then go running to the media when it happens, I believe the article said that the school has only enforced this policy a few times. Maybe they don't really make a big deal about it. Whenever I've enrolled kids in school (only a few times for my niece) they give you a handbook, you sign something saying you agree to it's policies and sign thirty million other things at the same time. I don't know how it was at this school though. Maybe she signed it, expressed concern to the receptionist who told her not to worry about it it really never happens anyways. I don't know.

I agree with Euromonkey. It seems easy to tell someone else how to best deal with their kids. The school would have been better off involving the mother earlier in the correction process and then she could handle it how she sees fit. I think expecting parents to be involved in their kids behavior at school is great. Requiring it even. But to say, "Here's two paddles. Pick one and spank your kid in this office before you leave here," is ludicrous. Paper or not.

I love Tref's editing text. As a Christian I get so sick of people misusing the "spare the rod" verse. Out of context much? Although I'd hate for this to turn into a religious debate too! ;)

[Tref]

But this lady never said, "I didn't know about the policy." She claims she never signed it. I'm not buying it. The spanking rule is part of the school's overall agreement, not a separate thing to sign. There's no WAY a school lets someone in without signing the agreement. And, according to administrators, they specifically mention the spanking thing and tell them that the other option is suspension. So she knew about it, and enrolled him anyway. I can't sympathize with her tears and outrage for dealing with exactly what she was told she would have to deal with.

I shall rest on the eloquence of my previous statements.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

But this lady never said, "I didn't know about the policy." She claims she never signed it. I'm not buying it. The spanking rule is part of the school's overall agreement, not a separate thing to sign. There's no WAY a school lets someone in without signing the agreement. And, according to administrators, they specifically mention the spanking thing and tell them that the other option is suspension. So she knew about it, and enrolled him anyway. I can't sympathize with her tears and outrage for dealing with exactly what she was told she would have to deal with.

What is baffling to me about this being made into such a big deal is that spanking was not the only option. No one's free will has been threatened. This was not a spank or die situation. If the child went too far, in the school's eyes, the parent could either spank the child or accept suspension. It's elementary school. Not high school. So why not accept the suspension in lieu of the spanking, and have a discussion with your kid about why he's gotten into so much trouble. Treat the suspension like a severe grounding. It's not going on his permanent record.

Suspension or spanking. They're giving the parents a choice, yes? Am I just completely misunderstanding that part of the article?

I don't have a problem with a parent ocassionally spanking a child. But if I were a parent, I wouldn't sign up with a school that gave me those kinds of options. We might disagree with what kind of behavior merits what kind of discipline, and it's a battle I wouldn't feel like fighting. I'd rather go to a place that encourages parent/teacher conferences in which both parties can discuss what disciplinary measures need to be taken. I work in a program for juveniles who have gotten into some serious trouble, and part of the difficulty in working with them is that they're forced to accept rigid rules here and then they go home where it's a free for all. It's confusing and inconstant. To some degree it's necessary to keep rules at home and rules at school consistent. An almost impossible task. Obviously this school has tried to come up with a system that allows them to have more of a say in how discipline is dished out. They have a right to do that. And a parent has a right to say, "I'm sorry, I won't be signing any such nonsense." Or, taking a risk, signing it, and then down the line saying, "Uh, I signed it, but screw it. We're out of here. I don't agree with suspending a kid, and I don't agree with spanking. So, latah!"

This isn't a public school. This options were not forced down her throat.

I think the school is in the right here in terms of the actions they took. And she is, of course, free to do what she did, which is what's obviously best for her as a parent. So she's in the right, too.

I think she liked the school. Maybe it's terrific. And so she took a chance that she'd never have to deal with the option, but her kid turns out to have other plans. So it didn't work out for her. Sorry sister. You and the kid lose. She'll find another school that's a better fit for them both, I'm sure.

[Betty]

Perhaps she thought that spanking was left to the more outragous offenses - ditching school perhaps, using profanity at the teacher sort of thing?

[Tref]

Perhaps she thought that spanking was left to the more outragous offenses - ditching school perhaps, using profanity at the teacher sort of thing?
Or murder!

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Or murder!

No, that would step things up a bit.

Expulsion or Burned at the Stake. Attempted murder might involve expulsion or a public flogging.

Still, the school would be giving options. And it's not like the parent had to sign the damn agreement.

[jdramj]

"[the mother] says after [her son] had repeated problems with talking in class, officials at Schaumburg Christian School gave her a choice, either spank [him] or he'd be suspended for a day."

and

"He says parents are never forced to spank kids, but if bad behavior escalates they may be given a choice between suspension or spanking."

story (http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_065183437.html)

Ok, if these facts are true, she was given a choice ,as she stated herself. Considering, as said in the OP, the child had racked up multiple bad behaviors type issues, I don't think a choice of a spanking or a day of suspension is that terrible. I think there has been some major overeacting here on her part.

I do believe in spanking, but only in extreme cases of bad behavior that could be dangerous.....exapmple, running out into the street recklessly (5 year old) who is laughing about doing it. I would never spank due to school issues. I have no problem taking the suspension and making sure my child knows why he/she is not in school, and not allow a "day off" day.

Besides, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it sounded like she knew he had behavioral issues, if that is the case, she was involed to some extent and had not handled it enough to change the boy's behavior.

[tracilicious]

What is baffling to me about this being made into such a big deal is that spanking was not the only option. No one's free will has been threatened. This was not a spank or die situation. If the child went too far, in the school's eyes, the parent could either spank the child or accept suspension. It's elementary school. Not high school. So why not accept the suspension in lieu of the spanking, and have a discussion with your kid about why he's gotten into so much trouble. Treat the suspension like a severe grounding. It's not going on his permanent record.

You're right. What's the big deal about a one day suspension? In the article I read though it made it sound like the school was really pressuring her. Telling her that a suspension would look terrible on his records. There are probably a bunch of private schools in the country that wouldn't call her at all. They'd just spank him at school. I disagree with the school, but I don't really get the media frenzy. Canada doesn't have these problems. Spanking isn't legal anywhere there.

[€uroMeinke]

Could the mother bring in a proxy to beat her child? Maybe a Nun working late shift?

[jdramj]

You're right. What's the big deal about a one day suspension? In the article I read though it made it sound like the school was really pressuring her. Telling her that a suspension would look terrible on his records. There are probably a bunch of private schools in the country that wouldn't call her at all. They'd just spank him at school. I disagree with the school, but I don't really get the media frenzy. Canada doesn't have these problems. Spanking isn't legal anywhere there.


Well if she goes to schools in the future that won't accept her child because of this, then she is going to the wrong schools. It's either that you subscribe to the schools ways, taking actions as laid out by the school or you don't and you take him to a school that better matches the feelings and needs of the family.

Now if the child is acting out like the spawn of the devil (I'm not saying he is, but really he's got into a lot of trouble here), then who the heck wants him in their school if the mother won't take responsibility of properly (not neccesarily spanking) disciplining him? Really, what message did she just send her son by just pulling him out of school without facing any kind of discipline either way? Can she really learn to home school in 3 weeks before she puts him in public school after they move? hmmmmmmm

leaving my soap box now.....so sorry

[Betty]

Obviously there was some info left out of the original story I read. Not surprised. Damn news with it's partial news stories.

[MerryPrankster]

Could the mother bring in a proxy to beat her child? Maybe a Nun working late shift?

Great idea! :D


Perhaps "The Penguin" from 'The Blues Brothers' or Sister Anna Maria from my youth.

[tracilicious]

Now if the child is acting out like the spawn of the devil (I'm not saying he is, but really he's got into a lot of trouble here), then who the heck wants him in their school if the mother won't take responsibility of properly (not neccesarily spanking) disciplining him? Really, what message did she just send her son by just pulling him out of school without facing any kind of discipline either way? Can she really learn to home school in 3 weeks before she puts him in public school after they move? hmmmmmmm

leaving my soap box now.....so sorry


Who says he didn't face any discipline? We don't know what went on at home. In the article that I read the mother said that the child had been misbehaving since her recent divorce and that they were working on correcting it. His offenses, while innappropriate for school, didn't seem that major. It's not as if he was physically acting out towards other children. His listening skills were off and he was chatty. Doesn't seem that difficult to handle. While a child shouldn't be allowed to misbehave simply because his life has been turned upside down, it would definitely affect how I would handle the misbehavior. I don't see any excuse for repeatedly bringing toys and gum to school though. All the mom has to do is check his backpack on the way out the door.

As far as the homeschooling, I don't know that she has to "learn" how to homeschool him for 3 weeks. The school will give her workbooks and they can practice writing and math together. I doubt that a first graders education will suffer because of three weeks at home. You're right about her choice of schools though. Hopefully she'll make a better choice next time.