The One That Got Away?

[Claire]

When I was a freshman in high school, I was friends with the most popular senior, Adam. I met him at the grocery store he worked in when I was in 8th grade, and he and my mom just had this mutual admiration and I got pulled in to the mix. Adam is the kind of guy who makes everyone feel special and cool and loved. He's the best. He has this network of friends that literally spans the globe. I used to go places in college for spring break and people from other states would say, "You're from Oregon? Do you know a guy named Adam?"

So Adam's group of friends in his class are/were extremely good looking. And they're nice, still connected to one another, see each other constantly, go on vacations together (I've gone camping and rafting with them several times), and one of them hosts this big luau every summer and hundreds of people come and take over three houses on one little cul de sac in our hometown.

It's really the most amazing group of people. If it wasn't for them and their network of friends that include a lot of my friends from high school and college....I would never have been good at keeping in touch. But whenever there's an event, a concert (Def Leppard, Depeche Mode, Prince), a wedding, a funeral, a trip, I'm called and invited.....and they completely took in my husband. He's now part of it, which is really cool for me.

So last night.....was the Duran Duran show. The usual people were there....plus one.

The one.

Dennis was a senior when I was a freshman and despite my "Adam's little sister" status, Dennis was untouchable. He had this curly black soft mullet, always wore white button up rayon shirts, perfectly pleated dark pants, and loafers. He was beyond cool. My friend, Vanessa, used to drag me past his house on most sunny Saturday afternoons, so we could catch a glimpse of him playing basketball with his brothers. We never talked to him, we'd just walk by and try not to get caught staring at his bare legs.

Dennis went stag to the Sadie Hawkins dance (girls were no doubt afraid to ask him) and he asked me to dance. Big mistake. My friend Vanessa literally didn't talk to me for months. I never talked to him again.

Until college. Our friend Mark was a DJ at this club in Corvallis, and on Thursday nights, hundreds of college students would flood the club and it was pretty much a weekly high school reunion for us. Dennis showed up twice (went to college out of state, so he'd only be there if he was staying with Mark), and the first time, he didn't talk to me.....until it was closing time and he slipped me his phone number.

I called Mark to ask him what the deal was, and it turns out Dennis had this huge crush on me......for-e-ver. It was the best/worst kept secret. Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend. A crazy ass boyfriend. I never called Dennis, but I kept his number in my wallet for a year.

The next time I saw Dennis at the same club, he approached me right away and gave me a hug. First time I'd had physical Dennis contact since I was fourteen at the Sadie Hawkins Dance. He asked why I hadn't called him, I explained about the psycho boyfriend, we left and went outside and talked for a long time, sitting on the curb. It was really nice. Turns out he's super shy--that's why he always went stag to dances, never dated anyone special, never asked anyone out, etc. I always thought he was a snob, even though we had the same circle of friends.

So that night, we ended things with a hug and he gave me his number again.

Six months later, I'm single, and for some reason, didn't call him.....I never called him. He got my number from Adam once and called me and left a message.....I never called him back. I ran into him and the gang of guys one night in Portland. We immediately hit it off again, hung out all night, and ended up kissing. A lot. We stayed out all night as a group and it was the best night!

Then he left the next morning for basic training for the freaking MARINES.

He called me when he could, about two months later, but I'd started dating someone (a guy named Kelly ;) ) and a few months later he came back to town to visit and called me right away. We got together for lunch and he told me he was marrying Gretchen. She was a year older than him and from our town. Our friend Andy had gotten her pregnant and ditched. Dennis decided to marry her and was going to adopt the baby.

I fell in love then and there. Holy crap, what a man.

So.....I get married, he gets married.

We ran into each other about four years later at the annual luau. We show each other our kids' pictures, talk awkwardly until his wife shows up. She glares at me, and I said my goodbye.

So last night, he shows up at the concert. I wasn't expecting him. Turns out he and Gretchen are divorced, Gretchen lives FOUR blocks from me with their daughters and he lives in the burbs. How freaking WEIRD is that?? Our daughters will go to the same middle school at the same time. UGH!

My heart pitter pattered all night, and not just because of Simon LeBon. I was good, though. Tried to keep my distance, but he wanted to catch up. We did, and I'm glad, but the man has GOT to stay away from me. Far away. That's just playing with fire. He's such a good man, married to the wrong girl at the wrong time.

I hope he finds someone excellent. Someone worthy. Someone wonderful and amazing and sexy and hot and someone who will be an awesome step-mom to his gorgeous daughters. I want all that for him.

I also want to NEVER see him again!!! He's my kryptonite. He makes me all squishy inside. Dangerous.

I know this is long......way longer than I intended.......but does anyone else have someone like this in their life?? The one that got away? How do you deal?? Do you ever have to see him or her?

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

"I also want to NEVER see him again!!! He's my kryptonite. He makes me all squishy inside. Dangerous."

I love this post, I love Dennis, I love you, I love your history with Dennis. Good girls need a Dennis.

This is a freakin' Wonder Year's episode.

I also love The Wonder Years.

I have one, from when I worked at Border's. I suspected, after it was too late, that he actually liked me, though maybe not as much as I like him. He even wrote me a lovely poem that I totally misunderstood, and was - most likely - very sexual and hinting. FIE my insecurity. But it was suspicious because he really didn’t start showing a romantic interest in me – however vague – until after I started dating someone else I was less nervous to date – heh.

Honestly, I would have never moved to NYC if I'd know for certain that M.T. liked me even half as much as I liked him. Only man I've ever known who actually made me seriously reconsider my position on wanting children. When I was around him, I wanted them without any doubt in my mind. I wanted at least 6 of them.

Too long a story, but years later I saw him when I was home visiting my family. He was walking hand in hand with a pregnant girl and they were with her mother. He didn’t notice me and I breezed by quickly. And the moment I passed them I just started sobbing. I cried all the way home. I’d harbored a secret wish that we’d run into each other and he’d say, “I wanted to ask you to stay,” and I’d move back home and have lots of kids we couldn’t afford to have.

And it hurt to see that silly dream crumble. A while later, after I moved back home, I saw him, his wife and child at a restaurant together and it STILL hurt.

It would probably hurt today. FIE!

When I really, really like someone, it's to a ridiculous degree.

[Claire]

He was walking hand in hand with a pregnant girl and they were with her mother. He didn’t notice me and I breezed by quickly. And the moment I passed them I just started sobbing. I cried all the way home. I’d harbored a secret wish that we’d run into each other and he’d say, “I wanted to ask you to stay,” and I’d move back home and have lots of kids we couldn’t afford to have.

Dude, I have goosebumps. Exactly. I know exactly what you felt. The only other person I can see myself married to (well, besides Amy Sedaris or Chuck Paluhniak) and raising a billion daughters with (between us, we'd have SEVEN!!!) is Dennis.

I've had a lump in my throat that isn't due to my screaming all night. I can't swallow it down. I have to NEVER see him again.

[Baileykat]

OH my gosh Claire! That's so sweet..yet so heartbreaking...bittersweet I guess!


I'm feeling you pain...and I know all too well how it feels!

I'd dish about my "one"...the one I can never see...the one I can never be alone with...the one..that thankfully lives hundreds of miles away in Texas...

Ahhhh...I'll be thinking of you...as I'm driving to Phoenix with whiney kids!

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I'm proud of you, C. Lesser women wouldn't be so stoic (or appear to be so, to him. Despite how squishy your innards might feel.)

[dsnylndmom]

Wow Claire what a story!!

THis line "I also want to NEVER see him again!!! He's my kryptonite. He makes me all squishy inside. Dangerous." I think captures your whole story. I also think there are quite a few of us that can relate ;) I can feel your "pitter patter" through your story.

[Claire]

And, ladies, he's still the best dresser (down to the shoes!) and extremely hot. He's amazing. And he wasn't sleazy or hitting on me, just interested in me. In what I had to say, how I was doing, my favorite places (he moved out of my neighborhood when they divorced right when I moved in--how ODD is that???) in the area, he casually had his arm around my shoulders on the train, he sat next to me in Mark's car, stood next to me at the bar, lots of eye contact, but never anything overtly icky at all. I remember sitting on that curb with him talking for hours that one night with my head on his shoulder and cuddled up next to him.

When we first saw each other after the show (I was surprised to see him, it took me a minute to orient myself, freaking Adam and Mark didn't tell me he was with them, the bastards), he gave me the longest, sweetest hug, the kind that lasts and lasts.

And considering I once fell hard for a guy who kissed me on the forehead and called me Sweet Claire, this hug was too much for me. I never fully recovered from that hug, even though we spent the next few hours together.

It's been 12 hours.....I'm still not recovered from that hug.

[Scrooge McSam]

I'll call him "P". I doted on him. His absence for even a little while was just intolerable for me. He told me no one understood him like I did. He told me we'd always be friends. Then he told me we couldn't be together because society was more likely to accept him with a woman than with a man.

I decided I required a man who could stand up to the world and be his own man. I didn't fight for him, though I desperately wanted to. Why should I? He wasn't willing to fight for me. I asked him to leave. It nearly destroyed me for a while. But I still remember the evening, several months later driving home from work, when I realized I hadn't thought about him at all that whole day. It was a start :)

He was married in less than a year, and 2 kids later, divorced. Then he started trying to start something up again. I rejected him.

20 years later, I still miss him sometimes. But I don't regret how it all turned out. If I'd still been with him, the next chapter of my life may never even have happened.

[Ponine]

Wow… amazing stories. Amazing. I thought I was alone in my torment.
The quote that gets me every time that I see Ever After, and thats a LOT is.. “Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?”

I met Chris when I was a sophomore in high school. I dated his best friend for four years. (85-89) All through that time period, he was by and large nicer to me than his friend was. We all went together once and saw legend.. he proceeded to give me a note the next day with a picture of a unicorn, and tell me how innocent I was. (he was delusional, but it was still sweet)
When I would hang out with their group of friends, somehow something would always happen where he would have to jump to my defense. I know once, he rubbed my shoulders as I sat in my boyfriends house, and it was one o those moments where I thought.. okay, no, I have to get away from this situation or its gonna go down a path I cant go down since I already have a boyfriend.
Once we went to the beach as a group, La Jolla Shores.. anyway.. my boyfriend was throwing cans of soda down to those of us on the beach, and ended up hitting me in the neck with one. Didn’t care a whit.
Chris on the other hand, cared a lot. That night, with everyone in sleeping bags, and me in pain, I held on to Chris the whole night long. NOT my boyfriend..
We went out on a date in ‘89.. to this day I don’t know why that didn’t pan out.
We would run into each other at Halloween time, random Renn fair events, he would always be the gentleman, make my heart flutter, and bring me roses. I always had a boyfriend at the time, I never knew what to make of it. I always picked the guys who treated girls like dirt. Never knew what to do with him. He was too nice. And I was too popular.
In the early ‘90s.. maybe 92 or so.. we were at an event together, I was with Joe.. who I ended up breaking up with at the event. Since I rode up with Joe, I had no ride home I was willing to take. I rode home with Chris… I remember that ride being emotionally taxing. It was better to be with him even in silence. We got back to his home at around 11pm, not a time I wanted to be taken home to my parents, and decided that I would stay at his apt till morning.
I don’t remember how, or why, but prob sleeping in the same place with a guy that you’re not actually involved with, but has loved you intensely for years.. isn’t such a good idea. By morning, we were an item. And I was so in love with him.
I never thought I was good enough for him, he made me happy, but I didn’t deserve it. Anyone else been there? He sang to me, bought me flowers, remembered my birthday, called me Kitten. I thought he was wonderful.
My new friends depised him. He had gotten to me too fast. Other people were jealous. They did everything to tear us apart. After a few months, it worked. He walked away, leaving me in a pile of tears and broken hearted. Telling me that he was seeing someone else. (years later I will discover this was a fabricated lie)
I took the next proposal that came my way because I saw it as the last chance. Chris was at my wedding, I wouldn’t speak to him.
Three years later, he finds me in Colorado, where I have whisked myself away to in order to rebuild my life. He’s vacationing, alone. I am still insanely attracted to him. Once again I let him break my heart when he went back to CA.
He marries, I end up being the one they called when po’d, they tick me off… we don’t speak for a few more years. In the process we both have sons, two months apart. They divorce.
Feb 2004 I saw him at someone else’s wedding. I all but fainted. I wanted to talk to him, and bolt, all at the same time. In the fall, I finally had the courage to speak to him again. It’s all still there..every last emotion; and that scares the hell out of me.
No question he’s the one that got away, and I should LET him get away. Never mind the fact that its lovely to have someone around me who has known me for twenty years, and that I am so in love with him it hurts.
He is wonderful, always has been. Soemtimes when I talk to him, I am totally enthralled by his face, and how beautiful he is. Oddly, I'm not generally physically attracted to people. I could be happy just listening to him talk, even if it wasnt to me, just to hear the sound of his voice.
My confidence soars when I am near him, and it seems there is nothing I cannot do.
Alas, I have no idea if I have anywhere near the same effect on him.
Oh.. I need to stop.. I’m rambling.

[Claire]

My gosh. I have goosebumps! Thanks for the stories.....Ponine, I left you a looong note.

:sigh:

I love these stories.

[€uroMeinke]

I thought I had “one that got away” – but when the moment came, I let her go.

Her name was Cyndi, though it should have been trouble. I met her in high school, though I don’t think she ever attended class. You might think I exaggerate this point, but honestly, I don’t think she was ever enrolled there.

Cyndi was every teenage boy’s dream, sexy, attractive, playful, and she new it, making her the ultimate tease. I longed for her even as I dated and fell in love with my high school sweetheart. We spent long evenings together, sipping wine, listening to music, chatting till 2:00 in the morning, when I had to bring her home and sober up for school the next morning.

She told remarkable stories, pathological liar that she was. The lives she lived, the experiences she detailed were far too complex and time consuming to fit into her 15 years. But I was painfully shy in high school, so I never tried to do anything more than spend time with her, listen to her stories, and plan how we would dress and look for the next event. Except for one moment, on my 18th birthday when I caught her in my arms and we kissed one of those remarkable first kisses that stop time and intoxicate you more than any drug. But it never went any further. It was a moment that vanished, perhaps both of us too embarrassed to admit it ever happen, or me too insecure to explore how mutual our feelings might be.

So off I went to college, where I talked about her constantly so that my roommates came to long for her as well despite being 2000 miles away. I couldn’t wait to get back home and find out the latest of where she was, what she was doing, and whether or not she was available. Of course during this time she was dating other friends of mine, so I held back and waited, biding my time.

But as my college days came to an end, I had met someone else who pulled at my heart. A friend of a friend through some bands we both knew. She was someone I could talk to for hours, she complemented me in every way, and I was falling for her. You know her here as Not Afraid. Of course it was then that Cyndi became available as I discovered in a trip to of all places Disneyland, where I took her home last. We sat in front of her house forever, and while again we did nothing more than talk, the confessionals made it clear she was interested in me.

I couldn’t sleep that night, my stomach in knots. I called Lisa the next day, and confessed my age-old-longings for Cyndi and my desire to pursue her. She remained quiet and stoic through that gut-wrenching phone call, and told me to go do what I had to do.

But I never called Cyndi, I never set out to see her again. The instant I hung up the phone I had a moment of both clarity and terror – I had made the wrong decision. Cyndi was an imaginary construct of all my unfulfilled desires. Lisa was real, was someone I loved, and just dumped in the most ungracious of ways.

I went to her house and waited for her to come home, to confess my regret and stupidity. Thankfully, she invited me into her Celica where she forgave me of my foolishness. I let one get away, but I almost lost one more precious.

[blueerica]

^^OH!!!

That's such a great story...

These are all such great stories. I suppose that the moral of the majority told is that sometimes, letting that one get away opens the door to the future.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I love the Chris and Lisa story. By golly, I DO!

I also love the Cyndi story leading up to the Chris and Lisa story.

I wonder where Cyndi is now. I'd like to hear her lies.

[€uroMeinke]

I love the Chris and Lisa story. By golly, I DO!

I also love the Cyndi story leading up to the Chris and Lisa story.

I wonder where Cyndi is now. I'd like to hear her lies.

Heh heh, I should dig into my old journals to see if I can find a few, Not Afraid, Boss Radio, and Lizziebeth cold probably add a few ;)

[lizziebith]

Heh heh, I should dig into my old journals to see if I can find a few, Not Afraid, Boss Radio, and Lizziebeth cold probably add a few ;)

I've been really fighting the urge...after all, I'm all grown up now! :rolleyes:

Boss Radio...where???

[€uroMeinke]

I've been really fighting the urge...after all, I'm all grown up now! :rolleyes:

Boss Radio...where???

Heh, the clarity a few years can bring...

The Boss is still lurking, but perhaps some day he'll chime in - though I doubt about this topic ;)

[Prudence]

Music camp.

His name was Aaron.

Even his friends were cool in the nice way.

He played the viola.

And taught me that ankles could be an erogenous zone.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

So, uh, me next?

I thought this guy was cute, so I called him, asked him out, made out with him, and fell in love. Thankfully, he liked me too, so we stayed together and eventually got married. The End. :) <--me

Sorry ladies and gents, but I'll never understand not saying hi, not calling, not giving it a try. I was shy to a decent degree, but kids, when I see something I want, I go for it, because who wants to die unfullfilled?

To those that haven't found Mr/Mrs Right, that is my advice. When opportunity looks your way, jump on it.

[Not Afraid]

Ahhhh, Chris was the one who almost got away. You hear his side, but my side was one of rock stars, dazzle, the orgasmic feeling of watching your paramour on sstage. Chris was none of those. I had to realize that the intellectual passions were where it's at, baby. I've never looked back - at least not for long.

I wonder about Cindy too. I know where Lizziebith is (here) and Boss Radio (not yet posting - figured out who this is yet Liz?). Do I want Cindy here - not really. What a frickin handful of lies she was! And I told € to follow his heart but if it was with Cindy, I wouldn't be around. How was I so healthy and strong at 21? Freakish.

[Name]

To those that haven't found Mr/Mrs Right, that is my advice. When opportunity looks your way, jump on it. Or him/her? ;)

[Claire]

Or him/her? ;)

Or them? :eek:

[Name]

:evil:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Or them? :eek:;)

[Not Afraid]

How, all of them? (That was my ploy). It was fun while it lasted. Ahhh Portia.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Sorry ladies and gents, but I'll never understand not saying hi, not calling, not giving it a try. I was shy to a decent degree, but kids, when I see something I want, I go for it, because who wants to die unfullfilled?

I do. That way, I can have an epitaph that says, "If I could do it all again, I would have done a lot more things that made me blush." Heh.

But, tis good, good advice, lady love. If only we all could follow it.

[€uroMeinke]

Sorry ladies and gents, but I'll never understand not saying hi, not calling, not giving it a try. I was shy to a decent degree, but kids, when I see something I want, I go for it, because who wants to die unfullfilled?


Heh, the challenge really is when you find yourself in a relationship, or are otherwise already in "love," what you do when you fall for someone else?

When we make decissions, we often leave something unfullfilled - so we gamble and hope we did the right things and learn to overcome the possible regrets. Being finite and mortal, there will always be desires unfullfilled.

[Gemini Cricket]

This thread hurts. In a good way, I guess. :blush:

His name was Nathan. He was an actor at the California university I did my undergrad studies at. Eyes like Harrison Ford and a smile like Tom Cruise and a body like Matt Damon.

He said I wasn't having enough fun in my life, so he showed me how.

One summer, things were particularly bad at home in Hawai'i, so I called him to vent about how my parents were having a really hard time with me being me. He told me to pack my bags and he'd come pick me up at LAX and we'd spend the summer in Lone Pine.

It was the best summer ever. He taught me how to fly fish, took me hiking, we helped a friend of his build a house, went camping and helped out with a town carnival.

That fall was wonderful and when winter came, I took him to Hawai'i. We had a blast. He stood up to my father when he was on one of his drunk belittle his son moments. He told my father he knew nothing about me and that I was smart and talented. I'll never forget him telling my dad that he should be lucky to have a son like me. No one has ever stood up to him like that before or since.

When the spring came, Nate decided he was bi. He started seeing an actress in the theatre dept.

However, he wanted both worlds: she and I. I said, I didn't like to share and told him I didn't want to see him ever again.

That summer was the worst ever. I was so brokenhearted I forgot to eat for days on end.

When the fall came, I ran into him at school and he looked worse than me. He was so sad and depressed, I felt bad. So, I told him that I was going to try out for one of the plays for the theatre dept. I dared him to do it, too. I told him that if he did, it would cheer him up. I directed his audition and he got the lead role. I got the supporting role. SHE was also in it. Painful.

Needless to say, the play was terribly hard to do. He and I fighting the whole time while pretending to be buddies on stage.

A bitter fight ensued on closing night. He told me he was straight and was just messing around with me for fun. He told me he hated gays like me and told me if I said anything to him about loving him that he would beat me up. Apparently, his parents didn't like the idea of us and wanted him to start dating girls or be written out of their will. I was crushed. We didn't speak for 10 years.

Last summer, we had our ten year college reunion. He showed up. I had fully expected his Ford Cruise Damon looks to errode into Ernest Borgnine Geoffrey Rush-esque ugliness... but no luck. He looked exactly the same. That f**ker.

However, 10 years had really changed things. He hugged me and told me that he wished things had ended better for us and he apologized for being such a jerk. I told him he should consider himself to be flattered that someone like me could love someone like him. He agreed. He said he's never been loved that way before or since me. Hmmm. He's married now to someone who looks and sounds just like me but with a vagina. Oh well.

I often hated myself for being so needy and heartbroken over him, but it helped me grow. He helped me out of this terrible shell I was in and I tamed a wild buck and helped him keep his hooves on the ground.

From time to time, we talk and email. He reminds me still that I'm worth my weight in gold. I remind him that that kind of crap talk doesn't work on people who really know him. He laughs.

He was my first love, not just a puppy love thang. He'll never go away, he's in my heart. But as was said before in this thread, I pat myself on the back for being able to talk to him and not feel like a hand is pulling my heart from my chest. It gets better each time.

His wife wants to meet me and find out who this person is Nathan keeps talking about. I'd love to tell her that a lot of who I am is because of Nate. I'd also like to dream of telling her that all the great sex she's having is because he's thinking of me. But, of course, I would never, ever say that.

:cool:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Heh, the challenge really is when you find yourself in a relationship, or are otherwise already in "love," what you do when you fall for someone else?Ah, that is a big question. Never had to really run up against that. Through the years with Greg I have definitely had my share of crushes, or attractions, or whathaveyou. My head has been turned by wonderful guys with intriguing minds and attractive looks - especially those that are very unlike my husband. But it was never enough for me to ever think of leaving Greg. No one has ever really come close to that. It's laughable for me. Life, without him? Impossible.

I'm glad I've never really come up against that. It's a horrifying prospect. But it's a chicken and egg question. Have I never had that because I really am that solid and loyal to Greg, that NO ONE could ever be a better choice? Or is it because I haven't met anyone that could really compete? I shudder to think about the latter concept. But I have faith that the answer is more in the range of the former.

[Claire]

I told him he should consider himself to be flattered that someone like me could love someone like him. He agreed.

Damn straight. Big smooches.

[Gemini Cricket]

Damn straight.
lol! :D That damned 'straight'.

By the way, Ralphie knows this story. He knows of Nate. They both want to meet each other. Size each other up... Men! :rolleyes:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

By the way, Ralphie knows this story. He knows of Nate. They both want to meet each other. Size each other up... Men! :rolleyes:Women do the same thing.

[Claire]

Women do the same thing.

:looks Jen up and down: No, we don't.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

:looks Jen up and down: No, we don't.*looks Claire up and down, realizes this chick isn't worth answering and walks away*

[Gemini Cricket]

Ooh. Catfight! :D

[mistyisjafo]

I thought I had “one that got away” – but when the moment came, I let her go.

Her name was Cyndi, though it should have been trouble. I met her in high school, though I don’t think she ever attended class. You might think I exaggerate this point, but honestly, I don’t think she was ever enrolled there.

Cyndi was every teenage boy’s dream, sexy, attractive, playful, and she new it, making her the ultimate tease. I longed for her even as I dated and fell in love with my high school sweetheart. We spent long evenings together, sipping wine, listening to music, chatting till 2:00 in the morning, when I had to bring her home and sober up for school the next morning.

She told remarkable stories, pathological liar that she was. The lives she lived, the experiences she detailed were far too complex and time consuming to fit into her 15 years. But I was painfully shy in high school, so I never tried to do anything more than spend time with her, listen to her stories, and plan how we would dress and look for the next event. Except for one moment, on my 18th birthday when I caught her in my arms and we kissed one of those remarkable first kisses that stop time and intoxicate you more than any drug. But it never went any further. It was a moment that vanished, perhaps both of us too embarrassed to admit it ever happen, or me too insecure to explore how mutual our feelings might be.

So off I went to college, where I talked about her constantly so that my roommates came to long for her as well despite being 2000 miles away. I couldn’t wait to get back home and find out the latest of where she was, what she was doing, and whether or not she was available. Of course during this time she was dating other friends of mine, so I held back and waited, biding my time.

But as my college days came to an end, I had met someone else who pulled at my heart. A friend of a friend through some bands we both knew. She was someone I could talk to for hours, she complemented me in every way, and I was falling for her. You know her here as Not Afraid. Of course it was then that Cyndi became available as I discovered in a trip to of all places Disneyland, where I took her home last. We sat in front of her house forever, and while again we did nothing more than talk, the confessionals made it clear she was interested in me.

I couldn’t sleep that night, my stomach in knots. I called Lisa the next day, and confessed my age-old-longings for Cyndi and my desire to pursue her. She remained quiet and stoic through that gut-wrenching phone call, and told me to go do what I had to do.

But I never called Cyndi, I never set out to see her again. The instant I hung up the phone I had a moment of both clarity and terror – I had made the wrong decision. Cyndi was an imaginary construct of all my unfulfilled desires. Lisa was real, was someone I loved, and just dumped in the most ungracious of ways.

I went to her house and waited for her to come home, to confess my regret and stupidity. Thankfully, she invited me into her Celica where she forgave me of my foolishness. I let one get away, but I almost lost one more precious.

That is so sweet!

[Claire]

*looks Claire up and down, realizes this chick isn't worth answering and walks away*

:rolleyes: Bitch. ;)

[Ghoulish Delight]

:looks Jen up and down: Where's your 'LUT' shirt?

*looks Claire up and down, realizes this chick wants to lick her*

Dear diary...jackpot. Giggity giggity

:evil:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

*smacks "Quagmire" upside the head*

*rethinks*

*looks online to purchase a LUT shirt*

[Bornieo: Fully Loaded]

Since I don't believe in "love" and all that stuff, I can look back at this with a slightly different eye.

Romantic? Maybe.
Tragic? Maybe.

No violins, no Barry Manillow, no tears, no secret abortions, no cheating, no betrayal, and no lies.

Around 1987, I was traveling with my family back to the homestead in Colorado. We'd just come from California for a visit. Halfway back, in Santa Fe New Mexico, our 1975 Ford Bronco broke down and we were stuck in that desert town. We had to wait a couple days for the parts to show up and we spent most of the time in the hotel pool. The first morning, my dad and I went to the Ford dealer to figure out what to do, leaving the rest of the family behind. I wanted to stay at the hotel, but my dad insisted I go and not to get far into that subject, but going anywhere with my dad was pure torture. Briefly, he would order food for me and preach from the bible constantly. So that morning after standing in the dealership that smelled of grease and ass, we went for breakfast at this little Mom&Pop hole in the wall resteraunt across the street. It smelled of Strawberry' from what I remember and as usual my dad ordered my food for me.

As we ate, I noticed a very attractive girl bussing the tables. Might be a daughter of the Mom& Pop in a Cinderella-esk type way, who knows. I was instantly infatuated with her, believing that she was everything I'd ever wanted. In those 20 minutes or so, I lived a whole life, thinking about the who's, what's, how's and where's. I truly grew old with her in that time.

She eventually took my plate and I really wanted to say something, but didn't. I played that scene over and over for years, and embarrassing still to this day. Rehearsing what I'd say, maybe something like I though she was beautiful. But I never did say anything and the next day, we left Santa Fe and went home. I remember her all the time. Didn’t know her name, who she was, or where that dinner was in that desert town- I doubt I could find it today. All I knew was that deep feeling about dead center, a certain pressure beyond the surface of my heart, somewhere deep in my soul that I won't revisit again.

My .02

[Claire]

When I burst out laughing just now, my husband anxiously yelled, "What? Did they tell you to say bye bye?" :D

FINE. BYE BYE!!!

I'm rolling.....thanks for the funnies everyone! :snap:

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Bornieo - beautiful, heartbreaking story.

Dude, go back there and have a look around, at least. :)

[mistyisjafo]

*looks online to purchase a LUT shirt*

Hell forget the LUT shirt, how much do I have to spend to look like that pic! LOL!!

[libraryvixen]

My friend, I'll call him Everett, and I met in in the 7th grade. We were the best of chums. In fact, we rode bikes to each other's houses, visited each other and talked through the window screens when we were grounded and sat around watching Jeopardy yelling out answers and keeping scores on a pad of paper on a regular basis.

Everett and I "dated" in the 8th grade for a while. Mostly because I was trying to make another guy jealous. Everett fell for me and I still looked at him as a friend. We still hung out but he held some pretty strong feelings for me.

Then one day... he told me his family was moving to Texas for his dad's new job. I was heartbroken. He was my best friend. I was a very big nerd in school. He was my Napoleon Dynamite and I was his Deb. He assured me that he would be visiting once in a while because his aunt and uncle lived in our little town. That was no consolation to me though because I had no idea how I was going to get through high school without him. He left 2 weeks before we were to be Freshman together.

We sent letters for about 3 months into the school year. For some reason or another, we lost each other's addresses. Being that the internet was not around for convenient people searches, we never heard from each other again.

Flash forward to Junior Year of high school. I never forgot about Everett but I figured I would never see him again so I went on being a Deb alone. There was a girl who I used to be friends with in Jr. high who was in my Advanced Algebra class. She was hot for Everett too, though Everett was really into my brain ;) I overheard her telling some other girls that her boyfriend was flying in from Texas to visit her. First... I couldn't comprehend what I was hearing and I thought "Is Everett her boyfriend?" and then thought "Why the hell did he not try to find or write me?"

When I approached the girl about it.. she got flustered and said that Everett told her that he never wanted to see me again because I never wrote to him. When I told her it sounded fishy, I asked her to let me know when he was going to be in town so I could talk to him face to face. She claimed to not know anything. So... I did what any angry geek in love would do... told her that I would beat her up if she didn't tell me his phone number. Luckily... she caved. I called him and it was as if the 2 1/2 years of not talking melted away and we picked up where we left off. Turns out that when Everett asked her to give me his phone number, she never did because she didn't want us to talk again.

Flash forward to Everett's army boot camp. He enlisted right after high school. We wrote love letters to each other in true lusty teenager style. He was still in Texas, I was still in California. All we had was our feelings... and nothing else.

Flash to Everett's college graduation. He was graduating from college and from ROTC as an officer and wanted me to come out to see him so I could escort him to the Officer's Ball. I couldn't go. I didn't have the money. We were both poor collge students so there was no way I could go.

That's where Everett met his future wife.

I got married to the ass.

As a nurse, he offered to deliver my baby for me and I turned it down. He was my best friend, but I'll be darned if he was going to look at my nether reigon.... professionally or not!!

Ass and I attended Everett's wedding. In fact, I was the best "woman" and stood up for him at the wedding. His wife was everything I thought she would be: gorgeous, intelligent and totally Alpha. His wife and I got along wonderfully. He gave me a gorgeous pen as my groomsman gift.

When Ass left me, he was the first person I called. What he said next broke my heart and it continues to break when I think back on it:

E: You know, I'm always late.
me: What are you talking about?
E: If I had just waited out a couple more years and not married T, I would have married you.

He and his wife flew B and I out to see them for Thanksgiving less than a month later due to the fact Everett was slated to go to Iraq for the next year +. His wife flew back out to go to a funeral the day before I left their home, so Everett and I were left with our daughters and with a ton of packing to do on my end.

We played some X-Box, talked smack about our mad alien killing skills and then, he reached out and stroked my hair. It was the one and only time we had physical contact. I'm not going to lie... it was electric. He drew his hand back and we scooted away from each other and never spoke about it again.

Neither of us were people who would ever have done anything about our feelings for each other nor were we the type of people who would ever cheat on our spouses or.. in my case... be okay with being with someone who was cheating on their spouse.

Even today... I still think back and wonder about the choices I've made in my life. Things like: what if I had gone left instead of right... what if I didn't marry Ass... what if I had gone to the Officer's Ball.. would I be the one married to Everett?

*sigh* I'm a sentimental fool.

[mistyisjafo]

*sigh* I'm a sentimental fool.

Ohhh not at all! How can you not feel that way for him after all those years?

You can't go back in time, course I'm sure a lot of us wish we could, but things happen for a reason. You were young then and maybe didn't see the forest thru the trees. And maybe he just never was the ONE either. Who knows! Just got to plod along forward and hope for the best!

[Claire]

Even today... I still think back and wonder about the choices I've made in my life. Things like: what if I had gone left instead of right... what if I didn't marry Ass... what if I had gone to the Officer's Ball.. would I be the one married to Everett?

*sigh* I'm a sentimental fool.

Only the combo of you and the ass could make the wonder that is your Boo. Just remember that. :)

[libraryvixen]

Only the combo of you and the ass could make the wonder that is your Boo. Just remember that. :)

This is true. Thank god she looks like me... because that means she browns up nicely in the summer time like a perfect Thanksgiving turkey ;) (even WITH sunblock!!)

[tracilicious]

I only have a sort of "one that got away" story. I was probably fifteen or early sixteen and a total dork. Todd went to my church. He was a year older and had an older brother and two little siblings that all lived with his dad. I was soooo swoony over Todd.

Todd was an alcoholic (along with the rest of his family) who had a very rough life, wasn't in school, and was in trouble all the time. I was pretty vulnerable. My parents had divorced a few years back, my mom worked or was in school all the time, and I had ridiculously low self esteem. Todd briefly semi-returned my affections, but I did dumb things like call all the time, apologize for everthing, and just be a total dork basically. So Todd moved on to another girl in our church (there were a lot of bad kids in that church) who was a lot more his speed. Smoked, drank, etc.

I would have done anything for Todd. Drank, done drugs, had sex, anything. I was so head over heels blindly in love with him. I'm SO glad to this day that Todd didn't like me like I liked him. That would have been very dangerous. Todd and other church girl snuck around for a while, got in big trouble for having sex, parents kept them apart, Todd grew up and continued his destructive life, and a few years back committed suicide.

I spent a few months in teenage heartbreak, got involved in dance and other school activities that gave me a sense of self, got over the heartbreak and fell in love with Michael (who I'd been friends with for a few years already) graduated, got married, had one and a half wonderful kids and am pretty much living my dream life (minus having lots of money). I shudder to think what my life would be like now if my heart hadn't been broken.

[UvaGirl]

Let's just say this thread has remarkable timing for me. Perhaps later I'll be brave enough to post more. Right now I'm pretending my situation doesn't exist:rolleyes:

[€uroMeinke]

Right now I'm pretending my situation doesn't exist:rolleyes:

Starting with your title bar perchance?;)

[Ponine]

Did anyone besides DP actually get to meet my 'one that got away'?
I only know for sure that Eliza knew he would be there... and I didnt throw it out there as obviously as I could have.
I know he talked to more than a few teams...

[UvaGirl]

Starting with your title bar perchance?;)

I admit it, I'm wallowing....:D