The second best dad in America.

[Moonliner]

The Article. (http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone)

I left my 9-year-old at Bloomingdale’s (the original one) a couple weeks ago. Last seen, he was in first floor handbags as I sashayed out the door

I gave him a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters, just in case he had to make a call.

No, I did not give him a cell phone.

I trusted him to figure out that he should take the Lexington Avenue subway down, and the 34th Street crosstown bus home. If he couldn’t do that,I trusted him to ask a stranger. And then I even trusted that stranger not to think, “Gee, I was about to catch my train home, but now I think I’ll abduct this adorable child instead.”

[Alex]

By that age I was regularly taking self guided trips miles from home (the four miles walk to the public library was a standard).

I also rode my bike without a helmet. Sat in the car without a seatbelt. Climbed trees without wearing a parachute. And jumped off an overpass into a 15 foot wide creek that was probably only 10 feet deep. And mom left us in the car while she ran into a store for a few minutes. When I was five my dad let me "drive" around the neighborhood while sitting on his lap.

I'm not saying that all of these were good ideas and should be encouraged, but 9 doesn't strike me as too young for a certain independence of movement as described in that article. If the child has shown a sufficient level of focus and responsibility. The older of my sisters however, couldn't be trusted; she'd come home at 10 p.m. from playing at a park somewhere and say she didn't know it was dark.

[wolfy999]

It is true that were are WAY too protective over our kids now a days.

I at least let Wolfette (11) walk to a neighborhood school (about 1/2 mile away) to play handball, but I do give her a phone and a time to be back. I'm being more lenient than most, or so I've heard from other parents, but she has to learn some kind of independence even in this day and age. I don't want her living here in our home all her life!

I've got her in Private School right now, but her father and I have discussed sending her to Public School for 7th grade on, so she won't be so protected and can make some of her own decisions (and mistakes).

I applaud the Dad in this article, I don't think I would be that trusting, but I do wish I could.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Hrmm, the 2nd best dad in America seems to be a mom.

"Lenore Skenazy".

[Moonliner]

Hrmm, the 2nd best dad in America seems to be a mom.

"Lenore Skenazy".

Well damn if that's not the case. I guess my prejeduces are showing. Moms are protective, dads give them space....

I was wondering why the kid was in the handbag section.

[Mousey Girl]

I let Boy ride his bike to a local park, by himself. I don't like it, but I can't see not letting him go. The park is right next to his school, and he walks home every day.

I started letting him taste some independance at DLR. Now he gets to ride rides by himself (the ones that hurt me or water rides). At the end of the day he gets his pass and his own money for the WoD store and goes off on his own. I used to shadow him, but he has earned his freedom. I made sure he is polite and responsible at all times. It is only with me that he turns into the kid that you all have met (ie: a monster).

[Alex]

The mom in question is on NPR's Talk of the Nation right now talking about this.

[Morrigoon]

I don't get why this is frickin' news. I think the sad fact that this is news is more newsworthy than the original news itself.

"Person too young to drive takes public transportation"

ooooooooh.

[Alex]

That's kind of what she's saying:

"This was just a slow news day filler column and it says something sad that it has become this huge thing."

[Moonliner]

It NEEDS to be a MAJOR story.

F' General Patraus
F' The '08 Election
F' The Economy

This is what people NEED to hear.

A good percentage of an entire generation is being brainwashed into seeing the boogeyman behind every light-post. They are being deprived of the freedom they need to grow into prosperous adults.

Sure, my wife and I give our own kids this kind of freedom. My son has been riding public transportation on his own for years but who can go with him? Not any of his friends that's for sure. Their parents all think we're nuts. They NEED to hear this lady, they need to learn the effects their paranoia is having on their kids.

[Alex]

To be fair, Talk of the Nation did spend it's first 75 minutes talking about Petraus, the election, and the economy. And followed it with an interview about torture at Guantanamo. And the hosts point of view was very supportive and only caller said she did a bad thing.

[Kevy Baby]

Their parents all think we're nuts.And they are right.

[Brigitte]

I find it hard to find the right spot to draw the line, my daughter is 11.

There's a corner store maybe 3/4ths of a mile away that she was allowed to go to, we have a park in the neighborhood that she is allowed to go to and she's allowed to ride her bike within our immediate neighborhood. Her school is a mile away and she'd have to cross a busy street, so that's out.

Last spring and summer, there were 2 luring attempts within a mile of my house. She knows about them and after the second one, she was not allowed to go to the corner store anymore (the second one took place on the road she uses to get there). I realize as a parent I can't be everywhere with her, but how do I let her be independent and still maintain my sanity? She has a phone, has to carry it with her if she's out and about.

When we're out shopping or something, I have no problem letting her go to other departments to look around, but would I let her find her way home if we lived somewhere that had public transportation? Probably not yet. I think if your kids are raised in an environment where that's something commonly used, sure, they'd be ready for that sooner than my kids would be. We don't have any way for her to get home if I were to drop her at the mall or somewhere.

I guess my point is that while I was free to roam at her age, I find it very hard to let go and let her gain that independence. I don't think that woman did anything wrong either, her son obviously knows his way around and was comfortable doing it.

[katiesue]

I try and give Maddy as much freedom as I can. To be honest I'd do more but her dad would have a cow and have me arrested or something.

She's 12. She comes home from school by herself. She has to cross a busy street but it's only a block. She has an orthodontist appointment in a few weeks. It's about 4 blocks from home. I have no problem letting her walk there and back. She has a cell and she's very good about checking in.

I'll let her go to another department at the store or mall. She's never not been where she was supposed to be. Disneyland as well. She's handy as a fastpass runner. If we had any sort of public transportation she could use I would let her.

I do think people are beyond over protective and it's not good for the kids. I have a friend who goes on EVERY field trip her daughter goes on because she's paranoid something will happen with either the teacher or the other parents. She's appalled I don't do the same. (she was also quite freaked that I'd go camping with people from the internet ;) )

There are some states where it is illeagl to leave a child alone under certain ages. As far as I can tell California has no such law. I was looking around when I started letting Maddy stay home while I ran to the supermarket and such. Just to make sure I was in the clear. My aunt had a co-worker who lost custody of her son because she'd go running every morning and leave him home asleep for a half hour or so.

Besides hello, you left the child in Bloomies. What better place :)

[BarTopDancer]

I have seen (and cannot find at the moment) statistics that there is not any more crime now then there was when most of us were kids. We just hear about it now because it's so easy to get the news. The first kidnapping I ever heard about was when I was not even 10. It was Laura Bradbury, from some national park. I have no idea why this name stuck with me all these years, but it did. I also have no idea how it turned out.

In the 3rd grade I was allowed to ride my bike to the store with a friend. The store shopping center had an entrance into the back [mostly deserted] parking lot in our neighborhood. In the 4th grade I was allowed to ride my bike to school with my friends (my mom drove me to the babysitters where our bikes were. Babysitter lived in the same neighborhood as the school). In the 5th grade I was allowed to ride my bike or walk to McDonalds with my friends on our half days. This bike ride was about a mile each way and took us on a busy street. In 7th grade I was walking or riding my bike to school (my 5th and 6th grade school was to far). Up a busy street and across a busy street. No crossing guards.

We were allowed to play in the front yard, unsupervised around 6 or 7 and were told to come inside if anyone who shouldn't be in the neighborhood was around.

I think parents these days are between a rock and a hard place. Give your kids independence and be labeled an uncaring parent. Watch over them to much and you're a helicopter parent.

[BarTopDancer]

(she was also quite freaked that I'd go camping with people from the internet ;) )

Dude. What is WRONG with you? people from the internet! Don't you know they're all 55 y/o men posing as 18 y/os?

[Alex]

Crap! That's why the internet hasn't been working for me. I've been doing it backwards.

[JWBear]

Crap! That's why the internet hasn't been working for me. I've been doing it backwards.

So, what are you telling us? You're really an 18 year old girl?

[Morrigoon]

Jeez Louise...

Truth is, it all depends upon the kid, how much they can handle, and how well they've been spoon-fed freedom earlier in life. At age 9 my friends and I were riding our bikes to various fast food places (several neighborhoods and busy streets away). By 13 I traveled to Winnipeg, Canada by myself to visit family, and could pretty much go anywhere my bike could carry me as long as my parents knew where I went.

Kids today are way too bubble-wrapped and sheltered. I think it leads to poor decision-making once they do go out on their own.

[Alex]

I've said too much.

[Betty]

My daughter, 13, is very independant and was riding her bike to school 1/2 mile away in 3rd grade. Although we've since moved, my son would not have been mature enough in 3rd grade to do that.

We are working on being responsible - as he's having issues being responsible with his homework and school papers.

I let him go to the store and park with her. He can ride around the block on his bike and go to his friend's house in our neighborhood.

But I see small kids roaming the streets at major intersections on their bikes - not being responsible about watching for cars - or blatently just riding through the parking lot not bothering to move to the side when cars are coming and figure if other kids that age aren't behaving right - when my son hangs out with them he'll follow suit. Guess I shoudln't judge my own kids by others actions - but it's hard not to.

They've got to learn some things on their own - but as a parent it's hard not to be over protective.