The 25 Biggest, Most Horrible, Most Shameful, Most Heinous Decorating Mistakes

[3894]

Did you see the show on HGTV last night? I'll list what they said but if you want further explanation, please go here (http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/dc_resources_expert_advice/article/0,1793,HGTV_3492_5095216_05,00.html).*

How many are you guilty of? I'm guilty of a few, oh yes indeed. Before I post, I need to fortify myself at Dairy Queen. Back in a bit.

Your turn!

The 25 Biggest Decorating Mistakes

25. Toilet Rugs
24. Too Many Photos
23. Ignoring the Foyer
22. Undressed Cables
21. Out-of-Place Themes
20. Outdated Accessories
19. Lopsided Furniture Arrangements
18. Keeping Something You Hate
17. Too Formal
16. Uncomfortable Dining Chairs
15. Lack of Traffic Pattern
14. Everything Matches
13. Following Fads
12. Furniture That Doesn't Fit
11. Too Many Colors of Patterns
10. Floating Rugs
9. Improper Lighting
8. Frames Hung Too High
7. Tacky Couch Covers
6. Pushed-Back Furniture
5. Ignoring Windows
4. Fear of Color
3. Knickknack Overload
2. Too Many Pillows
1. Fake Flowers

























*Argh! Flashback to when I used to teach.

[Kevy Baby]

22. Undressed Cables - Sometimes it can't be avoided: I will not give up proper sound for the sake of aesthetics.
19. Lopsided Furniture Arrangements - Probably, but I wouldn't know
11. Too Many Colors of Patterns - Maybe, but because I get individual pieces that I like, I don't care.
10. Floating Rugs - People use magic carpets for decoration?
9. Improper Lighting - I'm never happy with lighting
6. Pushed-Back Furniture - as in: against the wall? Currently, I don't have a choice.
3. Knickknack Overload - How about "crap overload?"
1. Fake Flowers - this is the #1 wrong thing? I mean, one can overdo it, but as light accents, how is this bad?

[lindyhop]

I've never had a toilet rug but I'm guilty of just about everything else. But I don't decorate, I store.

[scaeagles]

How about one I didn't see listed - too many freakin' pictures of the kids hanging everywhere. My wife has turned much of the house into a virtual shrine. I finally put my foot down and declared three room of the house to be child picture free.

[lindyhop]

How about one I didn't see listed - too many freakin' pictures of the kids hanging everywhere. My wife has turned much of the house into a virtual shrine. I finally put my foot down and declared three room of the house to be child picture free.

See #24.

[BarTopDancer]

Child hater! :p


I'm guilty of some, mostly furniture because I still have what I did when I first moved out.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Fun! This reminds me of a LoT thread I've been considering. So many of us don't live near each other, or haven't seen each other's homes. I'd like to see pictures of how people choose to decorate (or store, heh, Lindy) - I think it really gives an interesting perspective on people. Of course, I would only want to take my pictures when we've spiffed our house before a party; we're clean but we're not always tidy, and I do think everything here looks better tidy and put-together (I just don't always have time.)


25. Toilet Rugs - this was huge in Michigan and I was shocked to discover it's kind of less than classy when I arrived in CA six years ago. Never bought one since, because - on consideration - eww!

24. Too Many Photos - right now we don't have enough! We've been meaning to do an elegant stairway display with vintage pictures of family, we just haven't gotten to it.

23. Ignoring the Foyer - what foyer? When you walk into the condo, there's about 3 square feet of tile before it's "hello, living room."

22. Undressed Cables - ours are mostly tucked away but there is a little bit of cable running along the lip between our wood floor and our little square of tile foyer. It's pinned in and mostly covered by a bamboo rug, though.

21. Out-of-Place Themes - I don't know if I agree with this one; my parents love lighthouses and it's OK that they're decorating with them in Michigan - they can't get out to see any anymore. DP has a fun tiki section of her house and I think it's a riot and expresses who they are (I don't think it matters where you are.)

20. Outdated Accessories - OK, so our cabinets could be nicer. I might consider painting and putting on cool hardware, actually, because we can't afford a whole new set of cabinets. We're thinking about painting a lot; it's on the to-do list. But... our actually "outdated" accessories - that's part of who we are! We love retro, so we have lots of great furniture from the 50s and 60s (and some new furniture built to look like it is.) And I won't apologize for it!

19. Lopsided Furniture Arrangements - nope, we're pretty balanced.

18. Keeping Something You Hate - I'm looking over at a knicknack I was given this Christmas. It was #1 on my list for selling at the yard sale today (before we realized we couldn't go.) It's going to go soon.

17. Too Formal - not us. We're not fond of a cinched-up style. We like comfy, liveable swank.

16. Uncomfortable Dining Chairs - This is probably our biggest heinous mistake. But... would HGTV like to buy new ones for us? (Actually, HGTV probably funded the ones we have, since Tom edited for them for 3 years.)

15. Lack of Traffic Pattern - used to be, but due to this year's reorg, pretty open.

14. Everything Matches - well, everything moves towards coherence, but we've blended modern with vintage to give a distinct feel. Nothing really matches, it just goes together, I think.

13. Following Fads - we're not following a fad, we're following our taste. Comfy retro swank. It isn't classic, really, but it's something that makes us happy. And it feels like us. Isn't that the point of decor? (Otherwise we'd be living in identical, plain pods.)

12. Furniture That Doesn't Fit - we may kind of be guilty of this. It'd be better if our living room was just a tiny bit bigger. But you can walk through comfortably without bumping so maybe it's not that bad.

11. Too Many Colors of Patterns - we have a bit of pattern, and lean on about 5 main colors. (Red, gold/yellow, black, forest, a little plum.) Our plan is to eventually ditch the forest (having our antique settee reupholstered) but right now it all goes together pretty well.

10. Floating Rugs - the only rug we have is the aforementioned bamboo one which leads guests into the living room (and covers the wires.) It butts up against our bench, so I don't think it's really "floating."

9. Improper Lighting - indeed. I hate our lighting setup, and that's on my list for eventual retooling.

8. Frames Hung Too High - Nope.

7. Tacky Couch Covers - well, our IKEA couches are covered, but when they're in place (always when we have guests) I don't think people can even tell they're covered.

6. Pushed-Back Furniture - we have an entertainment viewing area and a working area, and only one couch and one desk is against the wall.

5. Ignoring Windows - alas, I hate our windows. Sliding-glass doors flanking the fireplace, and if you open the vertical blinds (blech) you get the majesty of our iron bars and the back of the neighboring condo building. I do love living in Hollywood, but the windows definitely frustrate me. I don't know what to do with them to make them whatsoever better.

4. Fear of Color - not us! But we're not tack with it, either.

3. Knickknack Overload - I'm not that fond of knickknacks; I probably have about 5 total in the home. Tom has maybe 2.

2. Too Many Pillows - not really. Two on either side of our long vintage settee, two on our IKEA couch. Four and a bolster on the bed. Oh! Wait, maybe. We have a bunch of beautiful chinese-patterened slipcovers on small pillows on the couch in our office. They are really pretty though, and I'm not doing away with them.

1. Fake Flowers - Call it wasteful, but I definitely only display fresh flowers and fruit. Oh. Wait - there is one place I have a single silk flower, but that's because it's a vase sconce on the wall that I replace with fresh if we're having guests (but don't choose to afford to replace every week.)

[3894]

Fun fact: Dairy Queen has an Original Cheeseburger (1/6 lb.) and a Classic Cheeseburger (1/4 lb.). Who knew!


23. Ignoring the Foyer - The front door opens and hall ahead, living room to your right. Our house has pretty much no foyer - except for a 4'x2' area. I was thinking of putting the dog's dishes there when the porch gets too cold. Welcome to our house and please don't step in the dog's kibble! The reason was that the little 4'x2' area and the hallway are tiled, everything else is hardwood. I guess I won't do it.

22. Undressed Cables - Guilty, guilty, guilty!

21. Out-of-Place Themes and 18. Keeping Something You Hate -We had quite a collection of Chinese stuff, including a rather large porcelain statue of the god of longevity on a rather high carved rosewood stand. We had scrolls, we had carvings, we had this and we had that, and all of it Chinese. All of it had belonged to my father, with my mother's Chinese desk thrown in for good measure.

Which didn't really work with our kachinas and Plains Indian beadwork. For several years, we were very multi-ethnic/Helen's House of Dreck around here. After enough time went by after my dad's passing, I finally deacessioned the Chinese stuff.

11. Too Many Colors of Patterns - Stringently not guilty of this one! Our neighbor the set designer once told my husband that three is the limit of colors you can fit in one room. Since the guy knows his stuff, we have tried to keep to that.

10. Floating Rugs - But those handwoven rag rugs are so cheap here!

9. Improper Lighting - Very guilty

5. Ignoring Windows - My husband hates curtains. He understands they have to be up on bedroom and bathroom windows. Everything else gets no curtains.

[Gn2Dlnd]

1/6 lb.?!?

[3894]

1/6 lb.?!?

But then you can have a Blizzard, since you got the dinky cheeseburger.

[scaeagles]

See #24.


Duh....I scanned the list for the word "pictures" and didn't see the word "photos".

[Deebs]

23. Ignoring the Foyer - what foyer? When you walk into the condo, there's about 3 square feet of tile before it's "hello, living room."


I would just like to say that I love your condo. I love the way it's decorated. I think it's swanky, cozy, and every good thing.

My place is chaos right now because I don't know if I'm moving or not. I've packed things only to unpack them because I didn't find a new place to live and needed to use the stuff I'd packed.

I'm with LSPE, I think it would be so interesting to see some photos of LoT digs. My house used to look a little too formal. My ex liked very traditional decor. (Read: stuffy) Think of the men's grill at an old country club. My new place will be different.

[Alex]

25. Toilet Rugs - What's a toilet rug? Is that a rug in the toilet, a rug on the seat of the toilet, or a rug in front of the toilet? Or maybe a rug made out of a toilet.

24. Too Many Photos - We have 3 displayed photos in the house. I don't think that is too much. Those three are the first I have ever displayed.

23. Ignoring the Foyer - I've never had a foyer.

22. Undressed Cables - I don't have a sewing machine and I refuse to pay retail for cable clothes.

21. Out-of-Place Themes - I once put my sunporch theme in the kitchen. Boy I felt foolish.

20. Outdated Accessories - I'm not even sure what "accessory" would mean in terms of decorating. But I will now take down the 1973 calendar.

19. Lopsided Furniture Arrangements - My couch is 4 inches taller on the right side. But that is because I sit on the left.

18. Keeping Something You Hate - But I derive my life energy from hate!

17. Too Formal - The day my coffee table doesn't have to call me sir is the day communists and al qaeda have won.

16. Uncomfortable Dining Chairs - Who eats at the dining table? I don't give a damn whether the stacks of DVDs on the dining chairs are comfortable.

15. Lack of Traffic Pattern - I agree with this one. Walking from living room to the bedroom in an alternating diagonal pattern takes a while but it really makes the place seem bigger.

14. Everything Matches - Also, a fire danger.

13. Following Fads - But is this better or worse than leading them?

12. Furniture That Doesn't Fit - It's just a phase all teenagers go through. It'll find its niche eventually.

11. Too Many Colors of Patterns - So lots of patterns are fine if in grayscale?

10. Floating Rugs - I had always heard that "you're less dense than water!" is the vilest thing you can say to a rug in Persian (Babelfish doesn't do Persian so here it is in Chinese: 再较不密集比水!) but it is good to hear it is true.

9. Improper Lighting - We once had a recessed dome light feel up my grandmother. So I drowned it under the rug.

8. Frames Hung Too High - If you hang them too low then they may hit the ground and not die. That would be embarrassing. Also, I like my photos hung high (seriously, I'm guilty fo this one and have received comments, but I really do prefer it and I'm the one who lives here).

7. Tacky Couch Covers - Slippery ones are ok? Frankly, even if there is no cover a tacky couch would be bad. This includes vinyl in hot climes.

6. Pushed-Back Furniture - Honestly, I have no idea what this even means.

5. Ignoring Windows - If I don't ignore the windows the foyer it going to get snippy.

4. Fear of Color - Ahhhh!

3. Knickknack Overload - This is true, the world lacks sufficient k's.

2. Too Many Pillows - There is no such thing as too many pillows. And by pillows I mean boobs.

1. Fake Flowers - Alliterative accessories are awful.

[innerSpaceman]

Hmmm, not bad. I only have one out of place theme (a small pirate area where it's kind of bizarre) and one hung-too-high frame that's definetely there just temporarily.



Cool. :cool:

[lashbear]

I like my toilet rug.. it soaks up all the 'near misses' and saves buying a mop.




....oh, did i really just say that?.. Ewwwwww.

[JWBear]

Ew.

[CoasterMatt]

Toilet rug also delays the time before you realize you're not aiming right when you pee in the night.

[Kevy Baby]

I know this is furthering the thread drift, but am I the only guy who will sit when needing to relieve myself in the middle of the night?

[Alex]

My trick for peeing in the middle of the night is that I open my eyes. It does wonders.

[Kevy Baby]

My trick for peeing in the middle of the night is that I open my eyes. It does wonders.I didn't figure this out until about six months ago, but getting out of bed also helps.

[€uroMeinke]

The real conundrum is waking in the middle of the night, having to pee, and having an erection

[Alex]

The trick for that is to stand much farther away and perfect a slow shuffle forward.

While practicing you'll want a second toilet rug for the wall behind the toilet.

[Morrigoon]

I think the list is a little elitist, but as someone who is or has been guilty of almost all the listed crimes (in thought if not in action), I guess the author would not give a hoot what I think of it.

No toilet rugs is a great rule for people who don't spend excessive amounts of time there. For me, though I don't currently have one in my home, I have thought about it. With my stomach issues, I can spend quite a while in there, and you do want a nice even surface to rest your feet on. Of course, it helps that my guy has good aim ;) Ironically, I have the suggested arrangement of a regular rectangular rug, but given the layout of my bathroom, it's not possible to center the rug, thus my complaints about unevenness.

There are a couple good suggestions, like not pushing all your furniture to the wall and cutting back on ridiculous piles of accent pillows. But there were other complaints where I actually liked the so-called problem image, like the too many patterns one. Not that I purposely mix patterns that way, but I recognize it as a style that appeals to many and accept it as not outside the realm of acceptable (anyone ever step foot in a Chico's?)

[lashbear]

well......? Photos...?

Alex, if you sit to pee you dont need eyes open. and it's sometimes necessary with certain piercings.

[lashbear]

Of course, it helps that my guy has good aim ;)
you're very lucky... you can tell how good a lover your man is by how he uses the toilet.

After all, if a man in a fully lit room can't hit a hole that big.....

[Kevy Baby]

After all, if a man in a fully lit room can't hit a hole that big.....From what I've read, Leo's hole IS about that big.

[Morrigoon]

Too. Many. Quotables! Can't. Decide!

Do I quote Alex saying:

But I derive my life energy from hate!

Too Formal - The day my coffee table doesn't have to call me sir is the day communists and al qaeda have won.

Who eats at the dining table? I don't give a damn whether the stacks of DVDs on the dining chairs are comfortable.

or

Improper Lighting - We once had a recessed dome light feel up my grandmother. So I drowned it under the rug.

???

And all the ones I was too lazy to copy and paste!

[3894]

Boys are gross.

[flippyshark]

Boys are gross.

but damn funny (in this thread, anyway)





(Edited to correct no less than three typos in a seven word post)

[Strangler Lewis]

How about one I didn't see listed - too many freakin' pictures of the kids hanging everywhere. My wife has turned much of the house into a virtual shrine. I finally put my foot down and declared three room of the house to be child picture free.

I believe it is technically not only a decorating faux pas but an etiquette faux pas to have numerous personal photos in public areas of the home.

This is a sin we do not commit, primarily because we are generally too disorganized to get things into frames.

[JWBear]

Large numbers of collectibles and/or knickknacks are ok, as long as they are arranged in some type of a coherent manner, and are dusted on a regular basis.

[lindyhop]

Dusted? You're supposed to dust them? Oh.;)

Thank you, Alex. Laughing uncontrollably in public while staring at my computer screen is something I always enjoy. Especially when other people start moving to get away from me.

[lizziebith]

This qualifies as knick-knack overload and out-of-place themes (it's in the front room) but it's my pride and joy. Some of my Yodas (was a thread started with pics from our homes because I couldn't find it...if so, feel free to move this mods!):

http://www.lafanforce.com/gallery2/d/6943-1/YodaCollection.jpg

[Gn2Dlnd]

It's not so much the Yodi, as the hideous pink tchatchki hutch!

[innerSpaceman]

Hmmm, no one's posted about Chernabog's family and their penchant for hanging dozens of family photos ... some really cool ones apparently from the Civil War era, but mostly of Cherny and his brother as boys in Little Lord Fauntleroy black velvet short pants suits with lots of white frill at collar and cuffs.

You can hardly notice the chatchke overload for all the shock of the family photos.

[lizziebith]

It's not so much the Yodi, as the hideous pink tchatchki hutch!

Washed-out photo...it's actually a vivid red. :)

[Kevy Baby]

Hmmm, no one's posted about Chernabog's family and their penchant for hanging dozens of family photos ...My grandmother used to have a glass picture of my father (on convex glass no less!). It is relatively large (maybe 10" high and 14" wide). It is of my father as a baby, buck naked, on all fours with hit tush prominently in the foreground. It bugs the hell out of him. As soon as I can get my hands on it, it shall be prominently displayed on my wall for him to see whenever he visits.

:evil:

[JWBear]

I may have mentioned the site linked below before. It's truly horrifying - for all kinds of reasons.

*WARNING* Absolutely NSFW!!!! (And possibly illegal in many states.) *WARNING*

Link (http://www.luriddigs.com/)

[CoasterMatt]

My room probably violates all of these decorating rules.

I like that.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

OMG, JW! I could NOT look away, and I could NOT stop clicking! This is my new favorite commentary site. Go Fug Yourself has nothing on them!

[JWBear]

Glad I could corrupt oblige...

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Aw, sweet JW, if you think that pictures of naked men on hideous furniture would corrupt me beyond my existing corruption... well... I think my retro-fat-girl-next-door vibe is working harder than it should!

[Chernabog]

Hmmm, no one's posted about Chernabog's family and their penchant for hanging dozens of family photos ... some really cool ones apparently from the Civil War era, but mostly of Cherny and his brother as boys in Little Lord Fauntleroy black velvet short pants suits with lots of white frill at collar and cuffs.

You can hardly notice the chatchke overload for all the shock of the family photos.

EEEeeesh. Yeah. My grandmother also has the Little Lord Fauntleroy pictures hanging in her condo. I repeat... WHY DEAR GOD DID MOM DO THAT TO US.

And the pictures we have are more like WWI era (and earlier), but not Civil War :) My dad's side of the family is from the old country.... Brooklyn. And before that Russia. On my mom's side, Canada, England and Poland. So I don't think any of my foreparents were in the US during the Civil War :)

[JWBear]

Aw, sweet JW, if you think that pictures of naked men on hideous furniture would corrupt me beyond my existing corruption... well... I think my retro-fat-girl-next-door vibe is working harder than it should!

:D