How Confrontational Are You?

[Betty]

How confrontational are you?

Are you the type that walks up to strangers and gives them a piece of your mind? Or do you hang back, thinking how much you'd like to tell a person what you really think, but don't because you'd be embarrassed or whatever?

We're going off roading tomorrow so I went to The-Most-Hated-Store (Walmart) to pick up some supplies. I go there for one reason. They have a big bag of good, peppery beef jerky for $10.00. I could buy a little bag in a different not as good bag elsewhere, but whatever. While there I remember that I need makeup - powder specfically so I go check out what they have.

I come across a Mom and her teenage daughter in the aisle. Daughter is trying on the makeup while Mom is on the phone. I glance around wondering where the sample is and notice that it's not a sample bottle, the daughter is just opening makeup and testing it out. I watch her in disbelief thinking the Mom will come over and tell her - HEY NOW! But Mom just tells her it's not the right shade and directs her to a different one.

I'm looking for powder and not seeing what I wanted, and they continue to open makeup. She finally finds the one she wants - but does she take the bottle she opened? Of course not. She gets a new, unopened bottle.

Bitch.

While this occurs, I contemplate saying something to her: You mind not opening the makeup and wrecking it for everyone else?

But I don't. I leave and see an employee on the aisle next door and tell on them. It's the girl in the black and white polka dot dress I tell her. The employee rolls her eyes, sighs and goes to see what they are up to.

I would end up being the one to buy the makeup and end up at home noticing it's already been opened requiring me to go back and exchange it, I'm sure.

So - would you have told them something? Or just ignored it?

Do you have a time that you've spoken up about something to a total stranger? Or wished you would have in retrospect? Or wouldn't have? :eek:

And flipping people off from your car while driving doesn't count. Has to be face to face.

[Alex]

I can be if I think it is important. My threshold of what is important enough just doesn't seem to be as low as most people's.

[Strangler Lewis]

Betty, if you believed in God you would have intervened on behalf of the integrity of Walmart's inventory.

[madmonkeygirl]

That is truely disgusting. I would have probablly went right up to the mom and said something as well as finding an employee. Maybe taking the bottle that was even opened and used. That is just horrible. That is another reason i won't set foot in Walmart. The cosmetics i do purchase have to be completely sealed with the stuff you have to tear to get open or i don't buy them.

[lashbear]

when buying stuff, I have bought opened bottles of things (no, not makeup, thank you) and so now, I always check when I buy and as MMG says, if it's not sealed, I don't buy it.

I think that confrontation over something like this isn't needed. Too many people are prone to violence nowadays that you don't know if you're going to get a broken foundation bottle to the face for saying something negative to them.

It's like me and speeding. I used to stew and fume over people who broke the law by speeding. I flipped the bird, honked the horn, flashed the lights, and on a couple of occasions held up signs calling them names. I wouldn't do this now, or road rage will ensure I have a Spielberg-like duel with a narky Truck Driver (or Mom in an SUV) but the basic premise is the same, and here it is:

I can't control other peoples actions, only my own.

I let them go about their business. I don't let it annoy me.

If someone's driving a couple of Km's under the speed limit in front of me, I don't mind. There will be an overtaking lane eventually, and it will not add significant portions of time to my journey.

At DL if someone pushed in line, I would probably say nothing, unless dozens of people were doing it. If one or two do it, my wait time doesn't go up a whole lot.

So, in the supermarket, if they're raping someone in Aisle 10, I might go tell a worker, or if I see someone actually steal something I might mention it to an employee, but for general bad behaviour, I just let them get on with it, and make sure I check the items I'm buying to make sure they're not tampered with.

Life's a lot more peaceful that way.

[Gemini Cricket]

I guess I would take the path of doing something that might get results. I think I would have done the same thing you did, Betty. Yelling at the mother and daughter would not solve much. It might feel good, but it will just most likely turn into a yelling match. Reporting her to an employee will give the leverage to the employee to deal with the situation. The employee has the right to kick them out or just embarrass the sh!t out of them.

[Deebs]

I can't control other peoples actions, only my own.

I let them go about their business. I don't let it annoy me.

Life's a lot more peaceful that way.

This about sums me up, at this point in my life. ^

I can only recall a couple of times I had confrontations with strangers in public, and both ended badly. One incident happened at The-Most-Hated-Store, actually. Someone ran into the back of my feet with a shopping cart at Walmart, and it really hurt. I turned around and asked the woman to please be more careful. She had two other women with her and they all three started laughing at me. The other incident happened at Marine World/Six Flags/Discovery Kingdom/whatever they are calling it these days. Someone not only cut in front of us in line, they actually pushed my daughter out of the way to pass. I said something. The language used when the couple responded to me definitely made more of a negative impression on my child than if I had remained silent.

What I decided after those incidents is to always take the path of least resistance, unless someone truly needs help. I would not stand by and let someone be harmed. But over small things, I just let it go.

[BarTopDancer]

I don't think rude people and people with no manners and common sense are limited to Wal-Mart. I've been to several Targets whose make-up sections were truly disgusting.

I don't think I would have said anything because it wouldn't have done any good. I have this image of the mom and daughters from the LA County Fair commercials in my head. Just oblivious to the world around them and living in their all about me bubble.

[MouseWife]

I guess I would take the path of doing something that might get results. I think I would have done the same thing you did, Betty. Yelling at the mother and daughter would not solve much. It might feel good, but it will just most likely turn into a yelling match. Reporting her to an employee will give the leverage to the employee to deal with the situation. The employee has the right to kick them out or just embarrass the sh!t out of them.


I agree, that way, they can remove the tampered with item. Make up is quite personal and you have to be very hygienic with it. Also, while I doubt they were doing this, people to tamper with items and put things in them to make others sick.

What we buy shouldn't be 'used'.

But Wal-Mart, um, ick. Costco has a really good deal on beef jerkey, we always buy it there. Might be $12. but I don't remember.

Wal-mart does have some things, though, that I can't find elsewhere. I don't know why they do that to us!!!

In other circumstances, I have said things. I usually say something if someone might be in danger. Like, if I see a kid wandering, I will ask them if they are lost {you know, they will have a 'look'}. Since I do work at a retail store, I know the workers and security and so I will go up to them and report shoplifters and sadly, a lot of teenagers who like to run amok in the store. That kills me, using the store as a playground or stealing.

And, wait, where can you go off-roading?

[bewitched]

I can be if I think it is important. My threshold of what is important enough just doesn't seem to be as low as most people's.

Pretty much my outlook. Except line cutters. I hate line cutters.

[Kevy Baby]

It may just be an issue of semantics, but if someone is doing something 'wrong' I say something with a tone of expectation that they will correct their action. At that point it is up to them to make a choice.

For example, a kid cut in line in front of GC, CM and others at a US trip last year. I basically said (in some sort of fashion) that his action was inappropriate. I did not yell or threaten. I simply let him know that what he was doing was wrong and did not back down. I did not tell the kid he had to leave - I let him make that decision on his own.

Admittedly, being a big guy is also helpful. I never threaten anyone with my size. But I am not hesitant to let people know that should they elect to use a physical resolution, the odds may not be in their favor.

[Gemini Cricket]

Kevy used what I called a 'father voice'. He did it rather well.
:)

[Morrigoon]

I'll tell off a line-cutter, but I probably wouldn't have said anything about the makeup. Unless I had an opportunity to cut into their conversation (eg join in to "help" this kid find her colors) and in the process point out that she needs to be looking for the ones labeled "Tester". But that'd be a rare incident, indeed.

So I guess I'm vocal if it directly affects me, or if it's someone in my party committing the offense, less so if it doesn't. I'm not observant enough to actually catch someone stealing, so I haven't had occasion to see how I'd react in that environment. In general, I've adopted the attitude that it's not my responsibility to teach the world.

I didn't use to be like that, however. I used to tell everyone what's what. Quite the PITA, really. Nah, even then it had to affect me, now that I think about it.

[lizziebith]

I tend to avoid confrontation, as it makes me feel icky, but I've got the matching constitutional component of not letting most stuff get to me. Still, when I'm tired, and especially while traveling, my ID takes over.

Last year I flew over 15 times (too much for me) and near the end of that we got a 4-year-old with severe parental issues (read on) and confinement issues in the row behind us. Kicking constantly. Kick. Kick. Writhe, kick. Squirm. Kick. Kick. His mommy didn't want to upset him though! She gently offered that he "might" want to put on his seatbelt over and over and over and over and... She never told him he had to...she suggested he might "wish to."

Anyway, two hours into having our kidneys kicked and listening to this pathetic excuse for a parent I'd had it -- I whirled around and said: "KNOCK IT OFF."

Well the poor baby must have looked so...chastised! Because Mommy quickly assured him that "some people were never children, honey."

:eek:

I had to stop and just grind my teeth at that point because I realized I was dealing with a RANK IDIOT. And its spawn.

BTW I would pay more (and I'm a mom) to fly on child-free flights. Pet-free too. Stupid yappy dogs...but that's another story. ;)