20 Years a Cyborg

[SzczerbiakManiac]

It was exactly 20 years ago today (even to the hour, as I write this) that I had my aortic valve replaced and started ticking. Had the totally asymptomatic murmur not been discovered during a general checkup a year before, my heart would have eventually burst (literally).

So I guess it's good to be alive.

[scaeagles]

Wow - Big anniversary! Congratulations and here's to the next 20 years!:cheers:

[Ghoulish Delight]

I for one welcome our new cyborg overlords.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Alternate post:

Aorta say something nice here, but I'm too vein to do so.

[Kevy Baby]

(I like the alternate post ;) )


Wow - I did not know that about you SM. Congrats on living a long life and prospering.




Though I will have a hard time trusting you from now on!

[JWBear]

Why do I suddenly have the Bionic Man theme running through my head...

[SzczerbiakManiac]

When I was a kid I loved that show! The Bionic Woman too.

Perhaps it was my density to become a cyborg....

yes, I meant density, not destiny

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Does the valve run on milk?



Good to have you around. :snap:

[cirquelover]

I'm glad they fixed you and made you a cyborg so we could still have the pleasure of your company.

Does it last forever?

[alphabassettgrrl]

Wow- good for you that we can do that! Congrats on twenty years, and here's to the next 20!

How long does the valve last? Do you have to have future surgeries, or are you ok?

Does it run on bacon? :)

[SacTown Chronic]

Congrats on living long enough to get to know us, SM.:cheers:

[Capt Jack]

ok, thats pretty cool. technology CAN be a wonderous thing, cant it? congrats on 20 prosperous (living-wise) years.

my lil bro is semi-cyborg as well.....but mostly plates and screws holding on his various and abundant abused parts. its kinda fun to stick fridge magnets to him though

[Strangler Lewis]

I believe this was an ER storyline some years ago, except it did not turn out quite so well. Congratulations!

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Does the valve run on milk?Hee hee, I was a milk fiend before the surgery, but I'm glad the moo juice hasn't impaired the valve's functionality.

Does it last forever?How long does the valve last? Do you have to have future surgeries, or are you ok?In theory, the valve can last as long as I do. But in practice, there's just not enough evidence to know for sure because these valves haven't been around long enough to find out. I certainly hope I never have to get my chest ripped open again. Once was plenty! :eek:

BTW, in case anyone is interested, I have a St. Jude's valve (http://www.sjm.com/devices/device.aspx?name=SJM+Regent+Valve&type=18&location=us).

[Snowflake]

So glad you're here! :snap:

Stick around for a another 20-40-60 if you please.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

my lil bro is semi-cyborg as well.....but mostly plates and screws holding on his various and abundant abused parts. its kinda fun to stick fridge magnets to him thoughtee hee hee

Happily, my valve is made out of carbon and Dacron, so I am non-ferrous and do not set off metal detectors.

[Ghoulish Delight]

BTW, in case anyone is interested, I have a St. Jude's valve (http://www.sjm.com/devices/device.aspx?name=SJM+Regent+Valve&type=18&location=us).
considerably larger EOAs (effective orifice areas),
Well now.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I certainly hope I never have to get my chest ripped open again. Once was plenty! :eek:

I believe that! Hopefully all goes well.

[Disneyphile]

I'm glad you're here and hope you are for many more 20's. :)

Live long and prosper! :snap:

[JWBear]

Happily, my valve is made out of carbon and Dacron, so I am non-ferrous and do not set off metal detectors.

When I hear "Dacron" I instantly think of hideous 70's clothing. Is your valve paisley, or have daisies on it?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

I requested something from the Peter Brady collection, but I never got to see it before they put it in, so who knows....

[blueerica]

When I hear "Dacron" I instantly think of hideous 70's clothing. Is your valve paisley, or have daisies on it?

I requested something from the Peter Brady collection, but I never got to see it before they put it in, so who knows....

HAHA!

[Capt Jack]

tee hee hee

Happily, my valve is made out of carbon and Dacron, so I am non-ferrous and do not set off metal detectors.


omg he sure does. has a laminated card with all the locations of his various metal parts so he can get through airports and court houses.

[Prudence]

Well this explains the diabolical laugh! And huzzah for modern science!

[Not Afraid]

tee hee hee

Happily, my valve is made out of carbon and Dacron, so I am non-ferrous and do not set off metal detectors.

but, he DOES tick. I'l NEVER forget the first time I hugged Sm and heard the ticking. We were at DL (duh) and there was this sound.......I had no idea! Make sure you put your ear to SM's chest next time you see him. Not only will he like it (especially if you're a boy) but it is fun to hear him tick.

Congratulations on a cool anniversary!

[Ghoulish Delight]

Captain Hook HATES him.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Captain Hook HATES him.Hmm, I wonder if the Hook rubberhead would be able to hear it. I must try that next time I see him.

[Kevy Baby]

BTW, in case anyone is interested, I have a St. Jude's valve (http://www.sjm.com/devices/device.aspx?name=SJM+Regent+Valve&type=18&location=us).So they didn't just stick one of these in there?

http://www.northernbrewer.com/pics/thumbs/ball-valve-ss.jpg

[lashbear]

Make sure you put your ear to SM's chest next time you see him. Not only will he like it (especially if you're a boy) but it is fun to hear him tick.
I will have to try this !!

sooo, do any of your other organs make noise that I should know about?

...and congrats !! :snap:

[BDBopper]

Congrats on your 20th Cyborgiversary! Isn't it great being alive! :)

Here's to 20 more years of ticking!

[SzczerbiakManiac]

sooo, do any of your other organs make noise that I should know about?Yes. Both ends of my digestive tract have been known to produce a multitude of audio-vibratory physio-molecular (transport device) reverberations.

In addition, my knees crack when I walk up stairs. My nose, in a most unappealing manner, harmonically resonates when I force air and/or semi-solid matter out through it. And sometimes when I press my middle finger against my thumb in a particular formation, they slip and make a... well, you might call it a "snapping" sound.

[CoasterMatt]

Wow, you had your heart worked on when you were like, 5? :D

Congratulations on the 20years, here's to 20+ more :)

[lashbear]

... audio-vibratory physio-molecular (transport device).
You Don't Mean....?


(BTW: I'm with you on the Knee crackling/popping sounds)

[€uroMeinke]

Congrats!

I'm still tickled by my own discovery of your bionic self - standing in line at Disneyland, me hearing this mysterious tick and asking no one in particular, "what's that ticking?" to have you rather sheepishly reply, "it's me."

[Strangler Lewis]

Congrats!

I'm still tickled by my own discovery of your bionic self - standing in line at Disneyland, me hearing this mysterious tick and asking no one in particular, "what's that ticking?" to have you rather sheepishly reply, "it's me."

Suddenly I'm seeing the headline "Airline Passengers (or Disneyland Security Guards) Tear Heart Patient Apart In Search For 'Bomb.'"

SM, do you carry a doctor's note to guard against such eventualities?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

I wear a Medic Alert (http://www.medicalert.org/) bracelet and have a card in my wallet.

But since my scars have long since healed, this "bomb" would have had to have been implanted in me a pretty long time ago. And fortunately, the Joker doesn't exist in real life. ;)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Wow, you had your heart worked on when you were like, 5? :DI was 20, but I'll take the compliment. ;)

I wasn't old enough to walk into a club or gamble in Vegas, but I was old enough to have my ribcage ripped open. That was some scary sh¡t, I tell ya!

It was kind of funny though being in the cardiac surgery ward after the procedure. More than one nurse walked by with a puzzled look on her/his face wondering what this kid was doing on a floor filled with old people.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

All I can think of is Untamed Heart. Go to a hockey game and catch a puck!


but please don't die afterwards

[Kevy Baby]

More than one nurse walked by with a puzzled look on her/his face wondering what this kid was doing on a floor filled with old people.Did any of those nurses stop to pick you and the old people up off the floor?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

No, that's maintenance's job, duh!

[scaeagles]

While this is a thread about SM's surgery, three years ago today I had my second surgery for achalasia at the Mayo Hospital and am doing pretty damn well thanks to one incredibly skilled surgeon.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

<high-fives scaeagles>

[Not Afraid]

The Lounge of Tomorrow - More Cyborgs, More Swank!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

The Lounge of Tomorrow - More Cyborgs, More Swank!"That's one hip incision!"
"Actually, it's on my chest."
"No, I meant hip, as in...oh, never mind."

[scaeagles]

<high-fives scaeagles>

psst....soon you and I will help take over the world. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

[SzczerbiakManiac]

HUSH!

[Ghoulish Delight]

psst....soon you and I will help take over the world. MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Would that be Captain Effective Orifice with his evil henchman Sphincter Boy?

[scaeagles]

That's Sphincter Man, GD.

[DreadPirateRoberts]

Would that be Captain Effective Orifice with his evil henchman Sphincter Boy?

taking over the world, one toaster at a time.

[scaeagles]

How cranky would you be if your bagel wasn't toasted every morning, huh? Never underestimate the power of infrared radiation.

[Ghoulish Delight]

How cranky would you be if your bagel wasn't toasted every morning, Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[scaeagles]

It's been far too long since we've had a good sphincter conversation around here.

[Not Afraid]

Yes, and we needed more quote fodder too.

[Ghoulish Delight]

This dude's (http://bergie.iki.fi/blog/when_reality_meets_product_concepts/) got you both beat on the cyborg front.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

That page is not responding. I'll try again later.

[JWBear]

Cool!

[Ghoulish Delight]

That page is not responding. I'll try again later.
The page has been giving me trouble on and off, so I'll summarize:

Dude lost the end of his finger in an accident. He was getting reconstructive surgery, an artificial finger tip. The surgeon found out he's a hacker, so they came up with a better idea - USB finger drive. So now he walks around with a bootable linux distribution, literally at his fingertips.

ETA: Oh yeah, and he's got a copy of Freddy Got Fingered on it. Hahahaha.

ETA yet more: Ah, the first image below is not him. That was someone's design project where they posited such a thing. The 2nd pic is the real deal.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

That's way cool!

[Ghoulish Delight]

It is, though now that I think of it, it would suck to watch a movie sticking your finger in the USB slot the whole time.

[Kevy Baby]

It is, though now that I think of it, it would suck to watch a movie sticking your finger in the USB slot the whole time.That was actually my very first thought.

What is his capacity?

[SzczerbiakManiac]

What is his capacity?Let me stick my finger in him and I'll let you know.

Did I just say that in my outside voice...?

[Ghoulish Delight]

That's Sphincter Man, GD.
Oh that's right, how could I forget that mbc's made a man out of your sphincter?