I Love You, Man (as a Friend) [not the Paul Rudd flick]

[SzczerbiakManiac]

The New York Times' Douglas Quenqua wrote an interesting article on friendships between gay men and straight men (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/fashion/28friends.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&ref=style) (longish). It really resonated with me. 97% of my male friends are straight (definitely not by design, just happenstance) and I have dealt with many of the issues discussed in that article.

My two best friends are both straight and both of whom I had crushes on early in our "relationship". Fortunately we were able to work through it and we remain friends to this day.

Guys: have you ever had a close friendship with another guy who was not the same sexual orientation as you? How did it work out? Did you see yourself in that article?

[innerSpaceman]

Read the article before you posted it. It made me smile and happy, but saw nothing of myself in it.

I'm buds with a few straight guys, but have no close male friends of the straight variety. I guess I'm pretty old school gay then. Close friends are either other gay boys or are the fairer sex.

[lashbear]

The Straight Guys Of The Lot (that a great name for a Nudie Calendar) are about it for my straight buddies. None in Aus.

[Ghoulish Delight]

For the most part, I'm no closer to my straight male friends than I am to my gay male friends. Or female friends for that matter. Other than CP, I tend not to get all that close with people. Character flaw I suppose.

[innerSpaceman]

No, not a character flaw, per se. Just a characteristic of most straight men.

[€uroMeinke]

Not having the sport gene I seem to get along better with gay men than straight men - with the odd exception of Brad - we must have swapped chromosomes at some point

[Ghoulish Delight]

Meanwhile I'm a huge sports fan, and yet don't get along with 99% of other sports fans. Go figure.

[€uroMeinke]

Meanwhile I'm a huge sports fan, and yet don't get along with 99% of other sports fans. Go figure.

How about Brad?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

How about Brad?Brad's part of the 1%

[Ghoulish Delight]

Well, I do get along with him. Though I believe our interest in sports differs slightly.

[Alex]

Other than Lani I don't think I've had what would generally be considered a "close" friend since high school.

But among friends I've not seen any of the issues described in the article for gay males or straight female friends. But that is because 1) I am pretty much entirely clueless to any suggestion that someone is interested in me, until things are pretty bluntly presented it never really occurs to me; and 2) I am pretty much entirely indifferent to the romantic travails of people I know.

That combines to mean that it would never occur to me to wonder if a gay friend were interested in me, and if he was I wouldn't know it until his hand was in my pants.

[Gemini Cricket]

Well, I do get along with him. Though I believe our interest in sports differs slightly.
And with that in mind, I must say that Jon Lester is better looking than Jon Papelbon.

[Ghoulish Delight]

You've just got the Jon's lined up, don't you.

[Gn2Dlnd]

“Where it can get confusing for a straight man and a gay man is when they connect on every other level, and then the gay man starts to question, ‘Well if there was just that one other thing, this could be perfect,’

Been there, done that, hated it. Of course, it also has happened with gay friends.

[Betty]

I had a friend in high school I spent a lot of time with. A lot of time. We did everything together. We grew apart in my sr. year when I had a boyfriend and ignored a lot of my friends. (not good). We were never as close after that, but still friends.

Years later she admitted she was a lesbien. We weren't close before that - or now - after hearing that. She's a great person who just has different interests then I do (and I don't mean sexually.)

I look back and wonder though - did she look at me like a girlfriend at the time? She got pissed a few times when I'd latch on to this or that guy but it was never a big thing. Not until my serious boyfriend in 12th grade anyway.

Does it matter really? No... just something I wondered about after the fact I guess.

The article reminded me of it - we did everything together - everything but *that*.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I wonder what the pattens are among women. Our patterns of behavior are different. We talk more, we touch more, just as friends.

I wonder if there's any research.

[SacTown Chronic]

Most straight male sports fans are uber-annoying to me. Other than that, I relate better to straight males than gay guys, but given the choice of who I'm hanging out with for the evening, I'd probably choose the gay guys most of the time. Everything about them sparkles; even their drama is more fun.

[innerSpaceman]

TeeHee, and I had a lot of fun with our night of Cambria drama, good pal.

[SacTown Chronic]

Well, I didn't say The Gay had exclusive rights to drama, just that it's more fun.:D

[SacTown Chronic]

Also, I miss MickeyLumbo. A lot. Seems the only time I hear from that butthole is when he e-mails Disney's propaganda to me. It might get to the point where I have to kidnap him for a few days just to talk to him.

[innerSpaceman]

I can't imagine what kind of talk that's going to be with him gagged and bound to a chair.

[SacTown Chronic]

He can damn well listen!

[JWBear]

I can't imagine what kind of talk that's going to be with him gagged and bound to a chair.

Plenty of fine gay porn has started that way...

[Scrooge McSam]

Also, I miss MickeyLumbo. A lot. Seems the only time I hear from that butthole is when he e-mails Disney's propaganda to me. It might get to the point where I have to kidnap him for a few days just to talk to him.

Sign me up. If I have to get a bigger rental (something with suitable kidnappee stashing space) let me know.

[SacTown Chronic]

Sign me up. You know the gagging and the binding is in iSm's mind only, right?

[Scrooge McSam]

Squeee... iSm's coming too? I'll get a van then.

[Gn2Dlnd]

South.

Where this thread has went.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I love derails!

[innerSpaceman]

I like them when they involve a white van pulling up beside me and screeching to a sudden stop ....