Alex, did your parents used to beat you with little tubes of Chap Stick?

No, I just realized that the blissful pain of bleeding lips is a far more pleasant experience than walking around with gunk covering my lips.

And I don't particularly care for kissing lipstick (or lip balm) covered lips.

Well damn, I guess I can't count on a kiss then next time I see you.

What if I bribed you with Love Brownies?

A) I don't know what those are and B) Probably not.

You used to. Lani told me you liked them. They're cupcake-style brownies I make which have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups baked inside. You've had them at pre-Mouse Adventure potlucks back when I competed. It's been a while, my feelings aren't hurt you don't remember.

Oh, I don't think I knew (or have so solidly forgotten that I don't remember ever knowing) what they were called or that they were from you. Yes, they were good.

But no. In fact now I'm thinking about eating with gunk on my lips and it's making me throw up a little.

Do you have similar issues with skin lotion, hair products, etc? Or is it just a mouth thing?

I don't like my hands feeling dirty (I'm ok with getting them dirty but as soon as the need passes I want them to be clean) so I don't like that excessively moist period after putting lotion on my hands (makes me want to go wash my hands) but it isn't the same thing as with putting a layer of gunk on my lips and expecting it to just stay there and then reapplying it when it fade.

Don't use body lotion or any hair products but I don't have a problem with them.

But I could understand wearing chapstick if one actually had chapped lips trying to heal (I still wouldn't do it, but I'd understand it) but most people I know just put it on all the time and yet putting on makeup while having a conversation at a bar would be gauche.

This was a tip my dad had learned from a professional car detailer:

Bon Ami cleaning powder is excellent for buffing car windows and also to remove tar and other sticky substances from car surfaces, including painted areas. However, don't use other "scouring powders" - Bon Ami is the only one that won't scratch a surface even with hard scrubbing.

I've used it many times, and it gives wonderful results.

I wonder if this will work on the hard-water stains on Susan's windows. I might give this a try.