Come on....wow me.

Wow

Nah... I don't want to risk underwhelming you and then having to wade through the resulting six paragraph disertation on the subject at hand.

Trust me, the dissertation isn't for you. It's for me and my adoring audience. Which consists of me. Would you really deprive me of that joy?

Yes. (I'm evil like that.)

Actually, you're not evil. You just think you are during those quiet moments of self doubt and missed meals.

These moments creep up on you and may be hard to identify but trust me, if you pause for some self examination you'll find that inner core that still likes yourself.

Take that core and stroke it. It'll grow and grow until it explodes all over you in a sheen of self respect and acceptance. Wear that with pride and don't let anybody else, or even yourself, set your own perception at anything less than "awesome."

ETA: Hey everybody, JWBear isn't reading this so if you have anything you want to say without him knowing, quote this post and put it in the middle...back to the original post.

For it is only through moving forward entirely confident of one's own awesomeness that you find the courage to truly not give a damn and enjoy life. A life worth living and expounding on to an awkward extent with no other than to get to the sixth paragraph.

For in the sixth paragraph is where wisdom lies like a jewel covered in hog**** just waiting for a dung beetle to come and roll it up into a nice edible ball.

Yes, this is the one that contains the wisdom. Admire it.

Since I now know you write these things as a form of intellectual self-pleasuring, I didn't read it.

You're welcome.

Oh well. At least I got something useful out of it.

But at the risk of correcting you again, it is juvenile (slightly less creepy than infantile) self-pleasuring. Intellect is rarely needed.

I hope you washed your hands afterwards.

I'm going to wash my hands after reading it....