On the topic of what constitutes not being "out", and the question of why people "need" to know your orientation,

I think the point is that the press and public are always wanting to know who is dating whom. It's impossible for someone who is homosexual to answer such an innocuous question, or to show up at events in which one would normally be escorted by one's significant other, WITHOUT coming out of the closet or deliberately hiding it.

Maybe she decided to come out now because, well, we pretty much all knew anyway at this point and there was no longer anything to hide. Who knows?

I suspect that it is no coincidence that she has come out after her peak earning years (as a woman in front of the camera in Hollywood) are behind.

Having said that I don't think there is any obligation, I also don't really doubt that, at least initially, it was a form of fear that kept her from saying anything. She came to fame 30 years. If she'd come out in the early '80s it really would have been scandalous an probably career threatening.

And so you hide it. Hollywood has always been reasonably open about homosexuality so long as you didn't talk about it for the cameras. And times change and being gay isn't as huge an issue as it once was but now should you stand up and say "yes, I'm gay" it may not be a scandal but it will be big press since now you've been hiding it for 30 years, everybody gets to say "yep, I told you" and really as a mature, intelligent, reasonably private person, why would you eagerly jump into that fire?

I'm an ass man....big time. Now you know.

That's were you like to receive?

No wonder you and Mickey Lumbo are so close.

Here is something I have always wondered.

In a basic straight coupling, there is, for the most part, no question about who does what. Tab A goes in Slot B.

But how is this established in a gay relationship? Is it discussed whom is a top and who is a bottom? Is it something that you just "know"? Is it common for a couple to trade these roles?

Sorry if I am being overly personal (and/or ignorant), I've just always been curious.

Be careful Kevy - you know the story about Curiosity and the Cat...




Actually, I forget... the cat got laid right??

Not to speak for GC, but I find it amusing that one of the problems he's discovered with computer dating is most sites won't let you advertise whether you are top or bottom.


It's very important to fit Tab A into Slut B, er SlOT B .... so, yeah, this info would come right up front in the bold print if it were allowed.

In person ... if it's not obvious at first, it comes to fore pretty quick.


Oh, and in my anecdotal world of little experience, most people are either one or they're the other, with as few as 20% being very versatile.





Jodie's the top, btw. ;)





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Good to know. And once I know who Jodie is I'll officially know too much about him/her/it.

He was the one that hung out with Buffy.

As long as we're asking questions / clarifying misconceptions, I still don't "get" sex between lesbians. I mean, with gay men, tab A goes into slot B or tab B goes into slot A. But girls? I don't get it. Sorry ladies, I don't see the appeal beyond appreciating looking at beautiful women.

iSm: It seems to me that if top vs. bottom is an issue for the community, that some sort of coding would be developed, and if it isn't, maybe it could/should be. Some seemingly unrelated word or phrase one could use in their profile that would indicate either way.