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- Lounge Lizard (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/forumdisplay.php?f=11)

- - Dear: (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/showthread.php?t=3896)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

Dear God,

I'm so glad you called. Its good to see you're still around. I'd heard rumors to the contrary of late.

I however must take issue with the breast implants. While I am appreciative of the thought, I think if you check my records that was NOT the part I had requested augmentation of.

Please advise.

PS, the tummy tuck looks great.

Captain Jack,

While I appreciate that you are only human and occasional mistakes will be made, it's really not my fault that you find yourself in the wrong line. I am a very busy entity and don't have time to babysit- this is exactly the reason I gave you humans free will. How was I supposed to know you weren't going for the transgender option? Sheesh. As it stands, I am unable to comply with your request at this time. You may not realise this, but the Universe is a very fragile place where the slightest deviations from the design plans may have catastrophic results. Your desire to change lines so you can drive one of those little red death-traps would very likely disrupt the Space-Time Continuum and result in the complete destruction of Zyrtich, which as you know is the natural habitat of the endangered Spotted Triblit. Stop being so selfish.

To show I am not completely heartless, I will throw in a complimentary Botox session and fruit basket. Now, go away and stop bothering me.

Yours, etc,
God

Quote:

Originally Posted by SzczerbiakManiac

I thought you could just make a call...?

THE DAMN LINE IS BUSY!

Dear me...

Where does the time go?

Dear write-on competition entrant:

Your analysis is hands down the best of the bunch. And the way you seemlessly moved through all the provided materials without making it look like you were just checking them off the list - just amazing. Not to mention the way you handled cased cited to but not provided in the closed universe!

So please explain to me why you apparently didn't bother to PROOF READ your submission? Why do sentences conclude without punctuation? Why do nouns not match their verbs?

You're really making my evaluation job difficult.

No love,
Me.

Dear Me,

Quit overanalyzing the job decision. Don't be a moron and take the damn thing.

SCA

Dear SCA,
Take the job.
Your conscience

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

Dear SCA,
Take the job.
Your conscience

This must be a fake. I know this because I have no conscience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaeagles

I know this because I have no conscience.

Doy, you're a Republican.

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaeagles

This must be a fake. I know this because I have no conscience.

Dear Sca:

Take a coin, heads you take the job, tails you don't.

Toss it high in the air. Before it hits the ground you'll know which side you want it to land on. Take that option.

Dear LoT,
Yes. Yes, I do actually work. I'm just not very good at it.
:D
GC