I think that is why I enjoy the red carpet proceedings so much. It's total candy.

I'd enjoy the red carpet proceedings much more with a paintball gun.

I can go along with that. So long as the candy is black licorice: vile and disgusting.

I find black licorice to be yummy and delightful. Granted, I'm well aware that I'm in the minority on that one. I even like the dutch salted black licorice, which even most black licorice lovers wince at.

Then E! is a channel invented for you.

I'd like to say that Cameron Diaz looked scary last night.
:D

I'd like to say that Tina Fey looked tres swanky.

My rundown of the 15 minutes:

Ryan Seacrest is stupid.
Tina Fey looked good.
When I saw Jennifer Lopez I asked Lani if she was pregnant before a slightly closure shot revealed it just wasn't a flattering dress from that angle.
Penelope Cruz is good looking. I remarked to Lani that when I was out drinking with some former coworkers last Friday there was a woman there who exactly had Cruz's face. But not the rest of the body.
Ryan Seacrest is stupid.
I don't care that Cameron Diaz and Justin Timerlake had instructions that they not end up anywhere near each other. It was obvious that Rainn <<mumble>> from The Office didn't care either.
I don't know who Dane Cook is but he seemed cool about his excitement at beings surrounded by people I do know.
Dr. Grey from Grey's Anatomy (I think she is doctor Grey but I've only seen the show half of once) looked very shiny.
Ryan Seacrest is stupid but it was amusing when he commented to one interviewee that it was very cold and she was wearing white and there was plenty of visual confirmation that said interviewee was indeed cold.

Then I lapsed into a brain-damage induced coma.

I have nothing to add except that I found this while searching youtube for Hugh Laurie's acceptance speech.

Oh, and it looked like Eva Longoria's dress was trying to give her a wedgie.

It wasn't cold, it was just a bit nipply out :)