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Adding the following: "No there are no vegetables in this dish! I swear! I didn't put anything in here you don't like!" "Kat...please stop tumbling in the store!" "Kat..please stop tumbling in the living room!" "Kat...please stop tumbling in the hall!" "Kat...please stop tumbling in the kitchen!" "Dear Lord Bailey...what is that smell in your room? WAIT! I don't want to know!" |
Nickolas Raymond, I told you to leave those rats alone!! It is not just everyday, but serveral times each day.
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"Venti non-fat white mocha, please."
"Crap." (all day, every day) "Religious Ed., This is Heather" "You're out of control." "Don't forget....." (to my boss) "We talked about this yesterday, remember?" (to my boss, who forgot) "STOP FIGHTING" (to my cats) |
I'm going to be late.
Hello? I'm running a little late today. Hello, people. Sorry I'm late. No problem. Tiger by the tail. Soon. Five more minutes. I swear. I'm like 98% done. All I have to do is... I have to leave. Almost done. Starving. Honey? Running a little late. |
Mine's a big combination of Claire's and Dena's
"Get up Kyler, no not 5 more minutes, now. Kyler get up, get up Kyler.Now put clothes on, get dressed, Kyler get up" "Shawn get, up. Get up Shawnie, come on little on it's time to get up. Come on let's get dressed, open your eyes come on Shawn" "Eat guys, no eat now, do I need to turn the tv off?" "Shawn where are your shoes now? Kyler where are Shawn's schoes??" "Kyler do you have lunch money, are you sure? Well go and grab it" "Shawn do you have your book bag? It's right there on the table where it ALWAYS is, Shawn the other table, no that one" "We're going to to be late, let's go. Come one let's go. Did you guys not hear me? We're going to be late' "Crap where are my keys? Kyler have you seen my keys? WHat about my cell, Shawn have you seen my cell?" "Kyler I love you" "Gimme a kiss Shawnie, love you" "Have a good day guys" "Venti non fat no whip toffee nut latte please, no, that's it thanks" "How's your coffee?"(to Aaron) "How was your day Shawnie?" "no you can't watch games you have to have lunch first, no lunch first, lunch then games" "Ready for homework! Yes homework, yes" "Brother will be home in 2 hours(followed by 1 hour, 30 minutes, 15 minutes, anytime)" "How was your day Ky? Oh no what happened" "Snack, homework chores, then go play. No homework first, no, no YOu can not do your homework later. No chores now no do you want to NOT go outside?" "Kyler any papers from your teacher? Are you sure? Positive? yeah I thought so" "who forgot to flush?"(at least 3 times) "Stop fighting, I don't care who started stop fighting" "Shawn you're not a dog" "No that's what we're having for dinner, no we'er not going to _____ no fine don't eat" "stop fighting" "it's time to come in, yes now, no not 5 minutes, because it's time to come in" "go wash your hands(over and over) did you wash them? let me see the other side. Could you manage your face too, yes your face" "k tv times over time to shower, yes tonight, yes yes you have to wash you hair AND body, yes" "did you you soap? shampoo? Are you sure?" "mop up the water on the floor, yes you, wipe it up" "take your clothes to the laundry room yes the dirty ones' "brush your teeth, you did? are you sure? Yeah I thought so" "storytime Shawn, Kyler reading time" "good night I love you" through out the day "who loves you? Mommy does" "I love you Shawnie" "Psst Ky who loves you?" "I love you infinity" "What should we have for dinner tonight" And many road rage issues, that are postable:blush: |
Can you put the snooze on?
Good morning. (Kiss.) Go back to sleep! How are you feeling, Mom? Sorry I'm late! Is it Large Group or Small Group? What is the external claim number? How was your day? I missed you! (Said to either A or T, depending on where I am that evening.) Oh, no. I spilled again. No, (Tesser/Dorothy) you can't go outside. (Wembley/Lillian)... c'mere! C'mere! (Pets sofa.) C'mere! Indeed. What did I miss? Ohh, I drooled on you again. Love you. |
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Good morning, ______! (Whatever name I'm currently calling my husband. Lately it's been Jodie the Pig from The Amityville Horror because he burned his eyeballs a fiery red. These are names of affection. We have a warped sense of humor.)
Do you have any conference calls today? What time are you going to go running? What's your schedule tomorrow? Yeah, we have to start eating a lot healthier. Another unknown caller/blocked call...I'm not answering it. Look at this spider! Get that snowboard out of the house! Hello...yeah, okay. But I really need to get some projects done around the house today. It's cold in here. Is it spring yet? Wilbur must be hungry. (the real pig next door) Hello pretty girl....you're the smartest pup in the whole wide world! (to the neighbor's dog) What's that smell? (I have a waaay too sensitve sense of smell) Holy moly, Holy cow or Holy crap! What should we have for dinner? Please.....thank you. Is this clean or dirty? (picking up a piece of clothing) Turn that down...you must be deaf. I love you. Good night, ______. |
Me: Good afternoon, <my company name> technical support
Caller: Is this Walker Beurge Ford? Me: No, this is <my company name>, you have the wrong number. Caller: This isn't the Service Department? Me: No, this is <my company name>, you have the wrong number. Caller: Can you transfer me? Me: No, this is <my company name>, you have the wrong number. Hello, lover! (said every time my pooter boots up to the portrait of Wally that graces my desktop) No onions, no tomatoes (to the person taking my sandwich order; 20% of the time there will be onions, tomatoes, or both when I bite into it) Me: Good afternoon, <my company name> technical support Caller: Is this John? Me: No, I'm <my real name>. Caller: Oh, I get you two confused all the time. (If you were in the room with John and I, you would never in a million years think we sounded alike. But on the phone, folks think we're clones.:rolleyes: ) Me: Good afternoon, <my company name> technical support Caller: When I try to run a report, it says "Unable to launch external report generator". Me: <walks them through altering their Excel security levels> (Our software utilizes Excel macros to generate reports. It's a very simple procedure outlined and highlighted in bold on the first page of our installation instructions.) Me: Good afternoon, <my company name> Caller: Hi, it's Vlad (our president and lead programmer), is George there? Me: Just a moment <transfers call to George> This wouldn't be an issue were it not for the following facts:
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