Not a joke, per se, but something that happened long ago on....gosh, drawing a blank on the name of the show....hosted by Groucho Marks.

A lady was being introduced and she mantioned she had 11 kids.

"11 kids??? Are you crazy?" asked Groucho.

"No, I just love my husband," she replied.

"Well," Groucho repsonded, "I like my cigar a lot but I take it out every once in a while."

I presume that was "You Bet Your Life" you're thinking of?

Judge: Mr. Mouse, I'm sorry but insanity is not grounds for divorce in the State of California.

Two statues stood in the park, lovers forever separated, but each reaching for the other. One bright morning an angel looked down from heaven and was struck by the beauty and pathos of their plight. She decided to grant them each life for a short period, permitting them to commune together if just for a few brief moments. In an instant, it was done. Life, but for an houir.

A raised eyebrow and a shy smile later, they both rushed off into the bushes beside the path from whence began much giggling and shaking of brush.

With sheepish grins, they appeared back on the path. The angel said "But children, you have a few more moments to be together. Your hour is not up. Use this time for it is all you will have".

"Cool" exclaimed the boy statue, and then to his lover "but this time, you hold the pigeon down, and I'LL sh*t on its head"

Yes, indeed it is.

4 baseball fans are standing together at the edge of a cliff. A Yankees fan, a Red Sox fan, a Cardinals fan, and a Cubs fan. The Red Sox fan says "I'm going to show you what a great Red Sox fan I am", and he jumps over the cliff. Not to be outdone, the Yankees fan says "I'll show him what a great Yankees fan I am" and he jumps over the cliff. Well not to be out done by either of these teams fans, the Cubs fan says "Oh yeah I'll show them what a great Cubs fan I am" and he picks up the Cardinal's fan and throws him over the cliff.

Why do the honeydew and watermelon have to get married?

One of my all time favorites:

Why was six afraid of seven?

What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?