That is great! One time I got a flyer taped to my stairway handrail. When I pulled it off, the tape took some paint off the rail. :mad: I called the guy (local realtor) and said "look bub, this is NOT going to get you people's business."

Actually, strike that, I never say "bub". bubbubbub...

If you get to the front of the line and you really can't stop talking on your cell phone to interact with the customer service person, please step aside and finish yourconversation or can you simply say to the person on the phone..."I'll call you right back" and hang up?

DO NOT tell that poor customer service person trying to work quickly to wait a minute when he or she asks you what they can help you with and kepp talking. I was extremely rude in my response to you since I was standing right behind you waiting with several small and tired children and I will do so again if needed.

Notice to the dude in the muscle car:

Goodness. You were in quite a rush as you sped up the ziggity-zaggity inclines at the Burbank City Center last week. I was getting out of my car and I heard you squeal up behind me, then squeal up the incline across from me, and up the inclines ad infinitum.

Were you urgently requiring a bathroom? Was your wife in labor? Did you discover that, instead of being Made you were about to get Whacked, requiring burned rubber to prevent your inclusion in a dead body montage to the tune of Derek and the Dominoes' "Layla"? If, in fact, it was the latter example, I'd suggest pulling into any of the myriad open spots and dashing into the mall where you might lay low in, say, Hot Topic. Bonus: you'd be able to dye your hair blue and purchase any number of shirts featuring a character from Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Lord of the Rings, thus defining yourself as neo-fuzzy-Punk (or, if you prefer, poseur.)

If not, then, well-- I think you should know that the kind of girl who's impressed with that kind of driving will also be the kind of girl who isn't impressed with your biological shortcomings.

Open letter to my co-workers:

In regards to the conference room refrigerator:

When you stack soda up to and against the freezer area, chances are that one or more of those soda's will burst and make a sticky gooey mess everywhere. (Just like it did last time, and the time before that). However, by placing the bottles of water on the top shelf and moving the soda to the lower shelves we can eliminate this situation all together. Imagine that!

It's not rocket science people! :mad:

Hear, Hear!!!

Who do these selfish buffons think they are?

Notice to: The Shoreline Public Library reference desk

I was following YOUR instructions to call the day before the class I'm scheduled to teach and see if any students are signed up (because you're too busy to call me and tell me not to come if there aren't students.) YOU are the ones who solicited the volunteer teachers. I am plenty busy enough without you, thank you very much! Do NOT tell me when I call that you are too busy to look that up now, that I should call back some other time, and hang up on me. Either you want volunteer help or you don't. Don't solicit volunteers you don't really want just so you look good on paper.

Wow!! Maybe I shouldn't read this thread. What jerks, geez! They really have some nerve. Uh oh, I'm channeling Beverly R. Sutphin again. :mad:

Notice to Elevator Makers:
Why not make elevator buttons with a cancel feature? If someone presses a button it selects the floor, if you press it again it cancels the selection. That way if child in elevator with you presses all the buttons and then leaves, you can thwart his plans to have you visit all 20 floors.

I've actually been on elevators that have this feature. It's wonderful!

Notice to: My neighbors

Either leash your dog or keep him off of my porch. I'm tired of searching for running shoes, socks and gardening clogs througout the neighborhood. I usually find them in your yard; front and back. What, you didn't notice the strange shoe that doesn't belong to anyone in your family???? Now, the last straw -- a package of Miracle-Gro with measuring spoon inside has gone missing from my porch. I can't find the damn thing anywhere. I hope S didn't eat it. I can't be worrying about this crap. You need to take some responsibility for your dog!