If you really want to be honest with the young gent, I think perhaps you need to tell him that you are a hyperosmiac harpy from hell. You know, full disclosure and all that. ;)

I feel for you, Eliza- you are in that uncomfortable place sort of in-between youth and dotage. Just remember, dear, the male of the species peaks at 17, while we women tend to take our time- 37 or so. So, chronologically your friend is seven years behind you, but biologically you are peers. In the sack, anyway....:D

AND, you're ALSO the crazy cat lady! You've got me beat by at least two critters.

Ah, NA, one minute you're the strange ,but endearing, hip old lady with a lot of cats.

The next minute you're the wimpering and frightened, down-on-the-floor with a broken hip old lady with a lot of cats who are suddenly out of food and looking at you lying there, all helpless, and trying to figure out what would be the most efficient way to strip your brittle bones of their meat. Their purrs, oh so kindly and sweet in the past, begin to sound threatening, "Purrrrrrrmeat. Meatpurrrrrrrrrrr."

And just like that, you give the term "food giver" an entirely different meaning.

Jack is quite fat. I bet he'd be tasty!

EH, you're in your twenties. Cut the crap and just kiss the guy all ready.

No, no. I have no romantic interest in this guy, whatsoever. He's a sweet pumpkin dear boy, but my feelings towards him are almost sisterly. It's strictly platonic. He's not my Rob Wilco.

And I know I'm not old, Tref, but I do feel more aged and tired than my 29 years sometimes. Probably because I sit at a computer all day and get so little exercise. Tired, tired. However my body feels, though, I still feel very, very young. Too young, even. Haven't done enough. Haven't learned enough. But I'll be 100 and still feeling that way.

Then again, on those days - most days even - when I accept that the meaning of life really is 42, I feel just fine and dandy.

So, can it!

I say, do not be worried, dear EH, do not be worried.

And yes, let's go have fun with our minty fresh selves!

Ha! That's nothin. There is a man in my life that actually thinks that I control the sun. He begs me every night to make it come up. Beat that! Of course he is two...

Oh, and you are supercoolspecial.

Face it EH: you're old. Get used to it, get over it and get on with your life.

Done and done.

Very good. uh-huh. Very good indeed. Yes-yes. Good, yes.