My pants are in the other room, and I'm not sure who's wearing them

Linda Lovelace


Oh... deep THOUGHTS.

Never mind

Do you see color the way I see color? What if what I see as red, you see as yellow. And is that why some people can't seem to wear clothes that match?

Oh - and what shall we do with a drunken sailor?

I love the smell of tomatos growing on the vine.

Mine's huge. It's in a box in the night stand.

All I want is a corn dog

It's all about the Boob.

The only person I know exists is me. And even then, I'm not entirely convinced.

The toilet is like, the greatest invention ever.

Think about it! Every single day we create these vile wastes. They stink and are unhealthy. What are we to do with this stuff?

Well, just put it in the magic bowl, press the lever, and BAM, it's gone. Gone! You don't have to smell it or look at it or store it, it's just gone.

Yeah, I know, processing plants, dumps into the rivers, etc. Someone has to deal with it. But even so, when I flush that toilet, I get a big stupid grin on my face because technology is the savior of the human race.

Especially after Mexican night.