Lounge of Tomorrow - It's been months since I've worked on my own writing.

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- Open Mic (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/forumdisplay.php?f=10)

- - It's been months since I've worked on my own writing. (http://74.208.121.111/LoT/showthread.php?t=3356)

Bornieo: Fully Loaded

04-18-2006 11:58 PM

Enjoyable. Wonderful dialogue. I'm interested to see what would happen if you revisit some of the "action" or movment of the characters. "...reached out..." seems to stand out.

Quote:

His hand reached out to cup the back of her left leg, his thumb lightly caressing a deep bruise below her knee cap. He pressed down hard. Her eyes squinted in pain but remained dry. She asked him to kiss her.

And not to be picky, but there's much use of Him, he, her in this area. :)

Just my humble opinion. Moving on...

lizziebith

04-19-2006 10:35 AM

Oooh, so rich and reverberant! Wonderful work! :snap:

Tramspotter

04-19-2006 02:27 PM

blueerica

04-19-2006 07:28 PM

Good stuff!

I think we're all maybe starting to want to stretch our writing muscles again. I've been feeling a bit inspired. This seems to be encouraging it.

<3 E

Cadaverous Pallor

04-20-2006 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueerica

Good stuff!

I think we're all maybe starting to want to stretch our writing muscles again. I've been feeling a bit inspired. This seems to be encouraging it.

<3 E

Yes! We need to encourage each other. I've been in a writing funk for long enough.

Boss Radio

04-25-2006 12:05 AM

Nice work.
You kind of scare me.
In a good way.

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