Puppies have more energy than your average dog and, as a result, you will get less sleep.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

A person needs only three tools in life: WD-40, duct tape and a hammer. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape. If either doesn't work, use the hammer.

Those who cannot forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

In this world of amazon.com reviews, I have learned the importance of editors.

In this world of 'Star Wars' Prequels and 2005's 'King Kong', the roles of producer and director should go to two different people. AND the producer should never be a crony of the director.

The rise of the monolithic thread shall consume all. Resistance is futile.

The more we use computers, the worse our handwriting gets.

Don't buy burritos from the roach coach... er, I mean catering truck. You just never know. Trust me on that one.

Accept each moment as it is, don't think about what it could have or should have been, or what the next one might be. You'll be happier that way. Or maybe sometimes sadder. But either way you'll actually be living your life.

No matter how hard you try to supress a fart, it's gotta come out sometime.