I'm not going to speak badly of people I love who might stumble upon my words. But I will say this about most of my mom's and dad's siblings: They make me furious because they are making no effort to understand my mom's illness.

My mother's brothers talk behind her back about her being lazy. Yes, of course... because a woman with about 1/10 the amount of blood cells a normal person has, and whose steroid medication is slowly killing the rest of her body, is such a couch potato.

My father's siblings just tell her she should try to walk and get out more often. At my parents' anniversary party, one of them said to mom (who was outside in her wheelchair for the first time in a year) that she could go outside like that every day. So I turned to her, and very calmly but very firmly said "Aunt Pat, do you see that big bruise running down her arm? That's not a bruise. That's internal bleeding."

Still, they never ever get it.

Some people never will... /sigh

My family is actually pretty wonderful. They are all slightly wacky, but frankly we're a pretty swell bunch. No run-ins with the law. Any brushes with the news media have been for heart-warming "Eye on America" stuff. After my grandmother's funeral we all congregated in her room at my aunt's place and just divided up the stuff in a thoroughly agreeable fashion. Sure, one of my cousin's is a bit self-centered, and another hasn't trained her overly friendly labs that not everyone wants a tongue bath the minute they walk in the door, and my dad is on a personal crusade against corporations, but we're still psycho-free. Definitely no idiots. Disproportionate number of advanced degrees, but no idiots.

From how you describe her, it sounds appropriate (in a twisted way.) Since she is the antithesis of you—the Anti-Lisa—she should be called such. ;)
Reminds me of Vera Charles.

Patrick Dennis: Is the English lady sick, Auntie Mame?
Auntie Mame: She's not English, darling... she's from Pittsburgh.
Patrick Dennis: She sounded English.
Auntie Mame: Well, when you're from Pittsburgh, you have to do something.

- - - - -

My mom and grandma are quite a pair! First off, you must know my grandma is overall a wonderful lady, but she has some really annoying idiosyncrasies. Logic is lost on her. If she gets it in her head that the sky is green, there's not a damn thing you can do to convince her otherwise. But for reasons unknown to the rest of our family, my mom still tries. Every, and I mean every family dinner always ends with mom and grandma getting into an argument. Grandma will say something stupid (not offensive, just boneheaded) and mom will try to counter her with reason*. This leads to raised voices which in turn leads to everyone abandoning them at the dinner table to let them argue by themselves. :rolleyes:



*I have reminded mom many times that it's impossible to reason someone out or a position they weren't reasoned into in the first place. She acknowledges this, but can't seem to help herself when it comes to her mother.

You know who's cool? My dad. I didn't always think so, but now I do.
He's a Harley riding deacon with the Catholic Church. He likes tequila and Hawaiian food. He likes fart jokes and 'The Sopranos'.
:)

Wow-my family seems so normal now. That's nice. :)

Except for my husbands brother and family. They live in the same city as us - yet we see them only on Christmas. They are invited to all the usual family fuctions but never come.

They used to though - until The Incident. My youngest and their youngest (who is actually a few months older) were playing around at a brunch years ago at some buffet restaraunt. They were all of 2 years old and my husband's brother jokingly (?) egged his son on to hit mine or wrestle with him or something. Nothing much happened - a quick few tears that ended. I missed the whole thing but was curious - so the next day I emailed her asking what had happened. And apparently while describing the incident in a way very similar to how I just did, I angered her to the point where she sent several flaming emails my way. I replied with an - oh no - you've misunderstood - I didn't mean that. This furhter insulted her, implying that (gasp!) she'd not understood what I was trying to say.

So - out of an incident 6 years ago, we don't see them anymore. I'd love to get to know my nephews more - but I think they fear her wackiness as much as the rest of us.

She's taking medication now (mental issues) and that's helped a bit. Apparently I just got a taste.

But still - we only see them once a year.


On my side of the family is the child molesting husband adopted child of a relative who - thankfully - is now dead. So is his married-to-someone-who-could-never-do-that wife. Their child is with other family members.

Heh, I could spend all day on my family and the next few days on my in-laws. :p However, I've realized that everyone one of these stories involves drug use, abuse and neglect of kids, law breaking, or any combination of the three. So since that is more depressing than anything, I'll stick to the funnyish stories that I roll my eyes about.

A few weeks ago my mother in law (whom I love to death, and is wonderful) shows up at the house. As Indi runs out to greet her she pulls from behind her back a 20 oz Pepsi and a big grab of Funyuns. She says, "Look what Nani brought you! If your mommy says it's ok..." So I either have a choice of looking incredibly mean and taking the treats that his precious Nani brought him away or letting a three year old have a huge amount of junk food that would make him hyper and miserable all night.

I chose the latter. Thankfully, he shared with Daddy, who managed to eat/drink the majority of it. But still, he's THREE!!!! Who brings a huge soda and bag of chips to a three year old?! She knows how I feel about junk food and that we don't keep it in the house. I think she really feels I am depriving my family. They have food issues though. I've seen her fry a cheese filled hot dog in an inch and a half of corn oil. And she's diabetic. :rolleyes:

I have an outstanding relationship with my mother and father in law. They are great people. I have no idea how two of their offspring could be such total idiots.

Lol, I know that feeling. My mother and father in law are wonderful. Calm, loving people that mostly keep to themselves. I have no idea what happened to make Michael's sisters the way they are. His brothers are great people, but a bit weird.

Dad - normally wonderful and supportive. However, with mom's recent fight with stage 4 uterine cancer, he's turned into a total ass, using "tough love", thus resulting in her feeling abandoned during her battle.

Sister - she's 40 going on 14. Her favorite non-swear word is "penis", and she loves to talk very loudly about who she sleeps with, intends on sleeping with, or our parents' sex life and/or body parts. (No joke.) Vindictive and vile, she always insists on getting her way, and will abuse/coerce anyone she can just to see that she gets her way. Her latest endeavor - keeping "score" on how many times she's visited with our mother during recovery, versus how many times Ken and I have, even though we live 300 miles away. Her claim - "It's not fair that Teresa hasn't been here as often as I have." (And, she lives about 15 minutes from their house.)

Brother - 42, and still bitter and crazy for the last 32 years that I've been around on this planet. He's hated me since birth, since I wasn't a boy. (Seriously.) He physically and mentally abused me as a kid, and even punched me in the nose on my 15th birthday. (Keep in mind he's 10 years older than me.) He's single, and can't keep a woman past a few months, because of his chauvenism. He even refused to wear the matching t-shirts for our dad's 60th birthday party, because I made them. :rolleyes: