I think 3894's right. If it were truly your day, you'd spend the reception under the table humping the cake and each other. Or some other act of total self-involvement. You wouldn't spend it working the room chatting with every guest, many of whom you would not even know.

That's why we went and got married and only invited two people to sign the paperwork as witnesses.

It was all about us and having other people there would have ruined it.

But we seem to be in the minority on that.

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blueerica, do what you want, but if things are going to be in Vegas do make at least one concession to your guests. Do not do it in July or August. We had friends get married there in late August. Being dressed for a wedding when it is 114 is just cruel.

As others have said, SL's advice is the best.


I don't know if it's advice free-for-all time, but I have one thing I tell everyone who is getting married.


If you do not want a larger wedding involving far-flung relatives you don't even know, or friends of your parents that you don't even know - do NOT invite them, even if your parents or grandparents say "just invite them, they won't come."

They WILL come, no matter the location or time of year. They WILL come and your party will not be your party anymore.

Invite people you want to see there - and no one else. If anyone asks or requests or wonders aloud about your choices, say "we're keeping it small." Period!

That's true. Even at ours, it ended up being over attended by 50%.

Wait. There goes my long-laid brainwashing of my daughters to have destination weddings at either Jackson Lake Lodge in the Grand Tetons or the Grand Californian Hotel at the DLR, their choice. Both are destinations carefully chosen for their appeal to our nuclear family and total lack of appeal to almost everyone else in the extended family.

Oh, bother.

I hope your tactic works. In our case, my back-east family decided it was a good time for a reunion in CA, and all of my in-laws' friends decided they hadn't all gotten together in a while.

I stick to my advice - if you don't want them there, just don't invite them, and say you're keeping the wedding small.

Soooo agree with CP. And don't fall for the "so and so's feelings will be hurt if you don't invite them" trap.

And do NOT get guilted into putting them in your wedding party. As in "gee, I'm sorry everyone's in long sleeves on this warm April day but we have to cover up my cousin's questionable tatoos and no, I wasn't going to ask her but my mother said I should because she's adopted and we don't want her think we're shunning her because she's not a blood relative."

Also beware the "you need to ask your brother-in-law to be an usher because he doesn't own a suit and they can't afford one but they can afford to rent the morning coat" trap while you're thinking about all this.

Now, as 3894 so subtly suggested...let's talk about clothes.

Have your wedding on Thursday, outside, in the middle of December in Yosemite. It is bliss and you won't get a big unruly crowd either. Oh, and have your honeymoon before your wedding, then get married, then have Honeymoon Part 2. You'll be fully rested by the time the day gets here. Also, don't have any formal attendants, just pull someone out your small crowd to stand up for your both. Last minute is best.

Hmmph!!