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Dear MG:
I'm so sorry! RIP Thud. {hugs} Snowflake |
Dear Mommy,
Thank you for not letting me suffer any longer. I had a wonderful life and I loved you very much. Love, Thud Dear MG, /hugs |
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MG- **hugs** You did what you could. Sometimes it's time. |
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Then it happened about an hour after I went by that area. I got to work at 8:15. |
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(Oh, and Capt. Jack~ I could just free these boobs and my dress may follow. ;) ) Should I ever find myself dining at Applebee's again, and God willing I want to dine there now more then ever, I hope to find the place packed to its occupany limit with scads of naked love pillows as far as the eye can see or the vinyl booth can reach. I can't wait until I'm able to whip out my girls at a neighborhood eatery- it'll be like Christmas! Except with more appetizers. And tits. Why be discreet when you can serve up your teet? That's my motto. Of course, it won't go sight unseen when the totally uncool elderly "communists" at the next table begin hiding sheepishly behind their plastic menus and wriggling with discomfort as they anxiously await their Early Bird Specials. It's not fair- one dines at Applebee's to enjoy the whiskey-glazed ribs, NOT to be gawked at by a bunch of peter pan collared prudes who are doing everything in their narrow-minded power to trample on your constitutional right to expose your bits. Did you know that everytime you beg someone to put on a shirt and cover up their naked highbeams, it's completely akin to burning the American flag? In Britney we trust. Applebee's, with their team of obnoxious fabric-happy charlatans, is everything this country doesn't stand for. If the reward of freedom means dozens of naked nipples in a family resaurant that now must refer to themselves as the more accurately named Areola-bee's instead of Applebee's? Well then let freedom ring, because I, for one, am disgusted by their opressive dining standards, which often mimics the Middle East and their belief in strictly covering themselves from head to toe. It's the enforcement of wearing shirts (a.k.a."torso burkas") that the terrorists at Hanes have forcefully put upon us. If you told me that the Taliban operates the Loom, I would not be surprised. This sort of public outcry means that it can only get better for all of us. We can begin a boycott of pants at The Olive Garden (Applebee's has their hands too full with shirt issues). Indulgent pasta meals mean unforgiving waistbands and that's both cruel & unjust. Plus, think of all of the assorted naked hoo-hah's parading about! Everytime that I bend down to pick up my napkin, I'll be greeted by the stare of endless booth beavers, and if that's not the kind of class that you want served with your Zinfandel & Breadsticks, then I don't wanna know what the hell is. :D ;) :p |
Dear G-ma;
You know, I understand about the insurance. We talked about it earlier. Also, I can't state enough that I have no idea when it happened. I didn't hear it. I don't listen to my music all that loudly, so it's unlikely that I would have missed it. In any event, it happened. Yes, I know it looks like the rock must have been the size of a BB, I did actually bother to check it out myself. Oh, you would have chased the guy down? What does that have to do with anything - I don't know when it happened... It doesn't matter because it happened. I checked the estimated prices and I can afford a new window in a week and a half. Yes, the insurance again. Oh, my car is dirty? What the f*ck does that have to do with anything? For your information, I washed it last week and have been working and at school every other day since. And you know what, I'm leaving this conversation - your low blows aren't helping. Sincerely, Erica |
Dear Erica,
Not that it matters, but I hope it helps make you feel a little better - I seem to distinctly recall you having a small crack/chip in your windshield shortly after you bought it. I have no idea if you ever got it fixed, however, if you didn't, it probably spread and caused this. Sincerely, BTD. Dear grammar and punctuation nazis. Bite me. Much love and kisses, BTD |
BTD - No, this is an entirely new one. The other little guy's still sitting there, just as he ever was.
-Erica |
Dear Wells Fargo,
Imagine my shock at seeing my account was $79 in the red. Imagine how much more shocked I was to realize that $68 of that was your overdraft fees. Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to owe $68 in fees for being $11 overdrawn? -An Unhappy Customer |
Dear Attorney Bossman and &^$*#%$&:
I am leaving, as you know, in an hour and half. Of course you want me to send out letters to 35 of your clients in advance of the firm letter advising the changes in annuity and maintenance fees. You knew the firm letters were going out this week, months ago. Of course you wait until the very last moment and expect me to get them done because you forgot about it. I am presently clearing the docket you never look at to make sure you a$$ does not end up in a sling over a missed due date. Dream on. Donna |
Dear Snowy's boss
get a life. she obviously has one. you should give it a try sometime a concerned cohort |
Dear Capt. Jack:
I love you! Snowflake |
Dear Guy-Two-Rows-Over;
I've finally figured it out! You remind me of Jar Jar Binks... even down to the way that you walk. Impressive! Or not. Sincerely, Erica |
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That is impressive. It's pretty hard to be something that odd. ~Me |
Dear Remy,
You are a very sweet little girl. I know they bought you at Petco. Petco's rodent track record is 1 out of 4, so please make this 2 out of 5. To the other Girls, get over it. She is a baby. She still has her baby fuzz. Be nice (especially you Smurf). Quit the snits you all seem to be in. Love, Mommy. To The Boss, When I go up to tell you I am sick and need to go home, it is not time to play Let's Make a Deal. I came in because I had a problem order on my desk that I needed to make sure got taken care of. I could have just called out sick, but I didn't. I have only gone home sick twice in a year. You have another person who seems to set her own schedual. Before you get onto me, try looking at Little Miss Perfect. Signed, the one who cleans up after LMP |
Dear Health Law Professor:
You did NOT just ask us to count off to form groups, did you? Because we can't possibly be trusted, as adults, to form groups on our own and have to count off like we're in grade school? You suck, and so do your lectures; we can read the power point slides ourselves, if that's all the teaching you're going to do. No love, Me. |
Dear D,
Call your mother. Love, Mom |
Dear Ursula1000:
Please come to Southern California K |
Dear Co-workers,
Please, please, knock it off with the food. Or at least tone it down a bit. I thought we were going to have a monthly birthday celebration but there's a celebration for each one. If it was just cake it might be reasonable but there's enough food for an army and it just sits there tempting me all day. I usually stay away and end up feeling like I'm being rude. This week I joined you all (two days in a row!) and I just ended up feeling sick. So I'm not going to ask you to stop the all day feeding frenzies if that's what you like. But I simply can't participate any more. Please don't keep reminding me that there's food. I feel so much better when I control what I eat. I'm sorry if it's rude. Sincerely, Workplace Party Pooper |
Dear Mutaytor,
Please bring more fire and aerialists into my life, Thanks Matt |
Dear procrastination:
Please go away. Love, BTD |
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Your request is under review. We'll get back to you. Procrastination |
Dear Togo's,
Thank you ever so much for not putting your nutritional information on your site. Everyone else does it, but there you are, bucking the trend, you rebel you. It does lead me to wonder if there's something you don't want me to know about the Shanghai Chicken sandwich, though. See, even though you don't publish your nutritional info, other people do. But that info is incomplete. In fact, nobody seems to have the numbers on your daily specials - which are, of course, the sandwiches I actually eat when I visit your fine establishments. Perhaps you fear I'll discover that I'm better off picking up a #2 at In-N-Out? But alas, I don't get to find out, do I? |
Dear Togo's fan:
The person that I sopke with on the 800 # would have been more than pleased to speak to me, about nutrition had I been able to supply him with the name of the sandwich, which I could not bring up... but I did find this Nutrition Facts Serving Size: 6 inch -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amount per Serving -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calories 1010 Calories from Fat 500 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- % Daily Value * Total Fat 56g 86% Saturated Fat 20g 100% Cholesterol 80mg 27% Sodium 2270mg 95% Total Carbohydrate 87g 29% Dietary Fiber 6g 24% Sugars 22g Protein 42g 84% -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vitamin A 25% Vitamin C 40% Calcium 8% Iron 45% -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Est. Percent of Calories from: Fat 49.9% Carbs 34.5% Protein 16.6% |
Dear MSN Travel Page writers,
When you give an article a title like "Top Ten Affordable European Cities", I expect to see information that does not include $400 hotels. |
Dear Maddy's School -
Why are cookies, gatoraide, waters, ice cream and chips offered for sale on your menu? Not only offered but for exorbident prices. Have you not read about the issues with poor childhood nutrition? Signed, Concerned Parent (who has footed a $25 lunch bill in the last two weeks for crap) |
Dear Michael Eisner,
You should write a book on management. I really admired the way you surrounded yourself with people who got on board with your vision. After all, who's the leader here? There is no place for naysayers in an organization... they should take their pert opinions and go <bleep> themselves. After all, you didn't hire them to sit there and be negative! I always admired your willingness to fire even your closest friends if they challenged your vision. Now that's what I call leadership! Sure it led to some bad moves that eventually cost you your job and your professional reputation, but really, I don't think it was your fault. It was all those damn internet people with their opinions and chatter. And the economy. Sure Michael, it wasn't your fault like all your enemies said it was (because let's be honest, anyone who wasn't on board with you was just being unhelpful and clearly had a score to settle with you). Nah... it was the economy, stupid! (Oops, I hope you didn't take that to mean that I was calling YOU stupid, because I think you so totally rock, you genius! It was just a quote, I swear) But yeah, if 9-11 hadn't happened your brilliant ideas would have panned out and nobody on your team would have turned against you and gone running to the media behind your back. So seriously Michael, when are you going to write that management book so I can learn how to be a famous ex-CEO like you? Sincerely, Maya Tongincheek |
Dear all the people running intersections in front of me,
STOP. Just because you stop for a stop sign, doesn't give you the right to pull out in front of cross traffic, which doesn't have a stop sign. I stopped to avoid creaming your stupid butt, but that doesn't mean "oh, ok, cool, I can just go". No, you're still a stupid twit who doesn't deserve a license. And you, lady in a silver Toyota who ran the stop light. Just because the cross traffic finished doesn't mean you get to go yet. When the light turns green, after I get my turn signal, *then* you can go. Did you even see the cars turning in front of you??? And you stupid rotten morons probably think you are good drivers, not having a lot of accidents. Got news for you- you're horrible drivers given the conduct I've seen. This seems to be a trend here in town lately. Stop it, idiots. And this is while I was driving a car. It's worse when I'm on the bicycle. |
I swear, I wasn't anywhere near Ventura County!
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Dear Beagle,
You ruled. Thank you for seven years of doggone good times. xxxooo, Helen |
***hugs***
Goonie, you don't drive that badly, do you? |
Dear Helen,
I'm soooooo sorry! He was a big love. Condolences, Lisa |
Dear Me -
Please read the forum title before posting |
Hugs Helen
Dear Bike Idiots- You have rules of the road as well. Stop signs and stop lights apply to you as well. You're supposed to ride single file, four across is NOT single file. Sincerely, 7th and 8th Grade Bike Rodeo Winner (so I know the rules) |
Dear bike idiots
in addition, you might want to reconsider the basic rules of physics before darting in front of a 4k lb truck proceeding along the road at 50mph. I couldnt stop that fast if I wanted to...and dont think for a second I want to. :birdy: Capt Jack of the SS Big Red |
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{{{HUGS}}}} Snowflake |
Helen: HUGS.
ABG: No, but I do drive a Silver Toyota Matrix :) |
Yeah, but if you know enough to wait until the light turns the right color, then you're good. :)
How are you liking the car? |
Dear Punk Ass Kids,
You do NOT own the road. The traffic lights DO apply to YOU. You need to stop darting out in front of me when I have the green light. You punk ass kids on the bikes need to get your heads out of your asses and not block the entire roadway. You can seperate yourselves for the few seconds it takes me to go by. I am also getting tired of being cussed out for "being in your way." I am on my way back to WORK. If you ever make it out of Jr High you might just find yourself in a job where You have to get to work on time, too. Signed, Pissed off Parent of a future Jr High Student. PS, Nickolas, if you ever pull even 1/2 the crap I am seeing I will ground you until you are 40! |
abg: I love the Matrix. Serious fuel efficiency.
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Dear Cox,
I realize that you guys make money on professional installation, but just because I don't need someone to come in and plug the coax into the modem and the modem into the computer doesn't mean you can screw with my service and not turn it on properly so you can charge me for a "professional install" because "self-installations are not guaranteed to work". This is the second time your tech has not turned on the service properly and the second time I have had to argue with you to get the service I am paying for. Rest assured, I am looking into alternatives to dealing with the lack of service you provide. |
Dear Technical Support Guy,
It was NOT user error. |
Dear drivers,
Thank you to those who gave me lots of room the last couple of nights when I've been on my bicycle. You'll notice Flynn Road has no shoulder, so thank you for using the left hand lane. But- to the jackhole tonight on my way home from school who thought you had enough room to sqquueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze past me: Dude, you didn't. If you would have waited just a second or two, the oncoming lane would have been clear, and you could have done it safely. I get three feet of space, ok? Thanks. Next time be a touch more patient and don't endanger me again. |
Ever think of taking a prat fall to teach them a lesson?
(nah, probably not a good idea to do in the street... but it makes a nice mental image) |
The other night I dreamed a semi-truck was passing me, and had to swerve to avoid me as I got sucked under the wheels. Kind of freaky, really, because those trucks really do about suck me under sometimes if they're going fast or it's narrow.
What we have thought of doing is strapping a ski pole to the back end of the bike. Point towards the cars. While the segment of rude people don't mind crushing me, they will mind scratching their car. Most days I don't feel it's necessary, but every so often I get a real idiot and I think about it again. |
I'm not a cyclist, but I can well imagine the vortex that a semi kicks out toward one. My little Civic gets buffeted around whenever a large truck passes me- can get a bit hairy when the roads are icy. Take care out there, ABG!
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I'm always careful- I've seen too many crazy and/or stupid people on the roads. I don't give people much of a chance to hit me. :)
Thanks for thinking about me! **hugs** |
dear evening daylight,
why must you leave? Ive become so used to your loving caress in my after work hours that I simply hate to see you, yet again, slowly slipping away. this saddens me. I fear soon you'll leave altogether and I'll be forced to use artificial means to complete my tasks or worse, discontinue the projects until the rare air of 'the weekend' comes crawling its way back again. its just not the same. I will miss you |
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On the bright side, at least you did not get arrested for getting hit by a car. |
Classic, thanks for the link Moonie
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Deal Awful Cold;
You suck. Bite me. Sincerely, Hacking Up Her Lungs |
Dear bosses:
When I ask you for 11 days off 6 months in advance it's so you can schedule coverage. Not so you can tell me well we don't know what's going on yet so don't do anything that is non-refundable. I hate "we don't know what's going on yet".* That means nothing is going on so let me have the time off. *I hate it when it comes to work, I hate it when it comes to plans. At work it means "well we're not sure, something might be going on, but it might not be, so we don't want to commit anything to you". In plans it means "I want to wait to see if something better comes along". |
Cyclist arrested?
“Cyclists aren’t road hazards!”
I'm speechless. I haven't been terribly impressed with LAPD's interest in proper traffic procedures- interested in a quick paperless solution, rather than a correct solution. It seems here the officers weren't very interested in actually figuring out what was going on but one would think there would be a *reason* why a person is standing in front of a bus. Doesn't one ask why? Before jumping to confusions? Oy. |
Dear Body:
We've been bustin' heiny for three weeks. We need a rest. So what's up with this waking up at 6:00 a.m. on a day off? Stop it! Dear Brain: Please do not recall every minute issue that is currently unresolved at work. We need rest and today is the day to get it. Let it go for now. The Psyche |
Dear IT department: perhaps putting the production servers on the DHCP subnet was not the best idea? Especially since you've apparently manually specified the DHCP-assigned addresses in a DNS table, and after another power failure the servers acquired different addresses to which the hostnames would not resolve? Yeah, I didn't think it was too smart either.
Apologies for resurrecting an old thread. |
Dear Andrew,
I see no issues with resurrecting old threads of merrit. Considering the current state of LoT, with major portions of its key players off on holiday, and us left to our own devices, it seems like good sport. It makes me wonder what other evil threads we can bring back from the dead to confuse our cohorts upon their eventual return. CJ |
Dear Dear: thread,
Stop making me think of the song "Dear Prudence" whenever I read your title. Brad |
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