I sent mojo to iSm, but I, too, would like to partake in My First Seder.

Ok, here's the thing ... and I do this purely for my love of Mr. Cricket. I'm happy to throw a seder this year ... if it won't serve as spoilorz for next year's.


Ya see, once every five years, my family throws a HUGE SEDER that's a theatrical presentation of enormity with pleasure palace dimensions, diversions, and enjoyments. Four years ago, many LoT Swankers were among the 60 guests! It was an extravaganza I daresay none of them will soon forget.

I know many more Swankers whom I'd love to attend our next one, which is going to be next year. And, because I'd like to have more of the JEWS, it will -for the first time ever- be happening on one of the non-seder nights of Passover.*


Sigh... I don't want a seder this year to spoil the appetite, so to speak, for the more extravagant version of, well, essentially the same seder next year.

BUT ... that being said, I feel like Gemini Cricket's request must be honored ... and if folks can make it for a seder on Saturday, April 19 with the proviso that they must keep an open heart for next year's invitation ... Let's Do It.






* It's only recently I learned the two nights of seder I grew up with is a fairly recent revision to the roughly 5,000 year history of the cultural tradition of Passover. The second night of the seder is observed only by the jewish diaspora, and not by those in the Holy Land. Pfft, I now feel perfectly comfortable picking any damn night of the 8-day Passover to hold a seder.

This year, the first night actually falls on Saturday. Next year, I will jetison even more of the constricting restrictions to better serve our pleasure and convenience on whatever Saturday falls during those 8 days.

I'm so excited. I can't wait! My first Seder.
:)

Among my slower growing works in progress is a compendium of holiday songs for intermarried couples. Here's my take on Dayenu! If you don't know the tune, click on the link.

Dai, Dayenu!

Enough!

First I get a chilly greeting.
Then I’m led to children’s seating.
Chilly greeting
No one’s eating.
Dayenu!

Dai, Dayenu!
Dai, Dayenu!
Dai, Dayenu!
Dayenu, dayenu, dayenu
Dai, Dayenu!
Dai, Dayenu!
Dai, Dayenu!
Dayenu, Dayenu!

Each food symbol takes forever.
“Bitter herbs,” I say, “how, clever.”
“For the bad days
I’d use mayonnaise.”
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

Manishtana at my table
Quizzes on each vegetable
Little scholar
Here’s a dollar.
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

All the readers at this Seder
Sound like wide-eyed second graders.
NPR voice.
Very bad choice.
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

These folks sure seem well intentioned
Smile at me when Hitler’s mentioned.
Party crashing.
Goyim bashing.
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

Someone opens up the front door.
Good, we’re done now. Oh, no, there’s more.
I believe now.
Can’t we leave now?
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

“It’s Elijah.” I think, “breezes.”
Then I blurt out, “I felt Jesus.”
Sense of humor?
Just a rumor.
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

I don’t get what all the stink is.
Nobody was gonna drink this.
When’s this over?
I’m still sober.
Dayenu!

[chorus]!

Small suggestion, rather ticklish.
In a word . . . that word is “ENGLISH!”
Still be good Jew
(Vatican Two?)
No Hebrew.

Don’t know Hebrew!
Don’t know Hebrew!
No Hebrew, I don’t know it, know it!
Don’t know Hebrew!
Don’t know Hebrew!
Don’t know Hebrew!
And you don’t know it, too!

Dayenu!

--

(I'm assuming that ISM's bash will be a more joyous and inclusive affair.)

Hahahaha, yes, wanna come down? I'm dying to meet you, btw.

Yeah, not much Hebrew in our seder.


We've cut the songs down to the Greatest Hits 5, and provided phoenetics. I only know the choruses, and it goes by too fast to actually read the phoenetics, so we mostly spout Hebraic-sounding jibberish during the verses. There's always like 18 verses to each song, so sometimes we just randomly cut a few of those out.

The only other Hebrew in our seder are the brouchas (blessings) over the wine we drink in abundance, and the ceremonial foods that are mostly icky. We recite the names of the nasty plagues in Hebrew. And lastly, the kaddush which opens the seder ... which this year will be peformed by our special guest and instigator, Gemini Cricket ... who, as I understand it, doesn't speak a word of Hebrew.


But he's an ACKTOR ... so he'll learn the part!! :snap:

Sounds like great fun, but no So-Cal seder for me this year. We'll do our usual charoset and maror and quick lesson for the kids. And as I eat the charoset and maror I will reflect, as I reflect each year:

"Sh!t, this is good. I should have this more often."

But then I won't.

Sight unseen, I'm sure GC will do great. He can't be a worse Jew than Olivier.

I think I can go only if there is NO circlejerking.

I will stay clothed.

Love to have ya ....



(but i can't promise about the circle thingy. Jews in ancient times did that to taunt the Egyptians. I think cumming on the graven image of the first born was one of the plagues, if i'm not mistaken.)

I'd love to attend if there's still room.

Yes, by all means.


All the way from San Diego? I'd be honored!