oh this should be good.
uh........hmm......
yeah

Anybody who can work Arlo Guthrie into a thread is alright by me.

Did you know they made an Alice's Restaurant MOVIE? Really freakin' weird (and LOW bidget) movie.

No it's not!

Dear Matterhorn Fan,

You are under investigation by our group, the Association of Feline Re-education- American Investigations Department, or 'AFRAID'. Our operatives have had you under surveillance for some time now, and we have decided that you are in need of some 're-education'. We shall be launching a concerted effort to sway your opinion towards our species and we would appreciate your cooperation. Any attempts to chase off or harm our personnel will be dealt with harshly- we have many unpleasant retaliatory methods, as I'm sure your friend 'Scaeagles' can attest to. Don't try to run- we are everywhere. Okay, maybe not in the Antarctic, but nearly everywhere. So don't try it.

Sincerely yours, etc,

The cat outside your door.

Dear cat outside Matterhorn Fan's door,

I am a member of a counter organization called Decidedly and Eggregiously Against Those Hellishly Tainted Ogre Creatures of Aggravating Treachery and Snobbery, or 'DEATH TO CATS'. The name of the organization speaks for itself, so you had best watch which door you appear outside of.

We are watching you.

Sincerely,

A charter member of DEATH TO CATS

Dear Scaeagles,

Did you say something?

:p

Use caution when exiting your domicile. We wouldn't want a stray cactus to fall on you or something. It would really suck if it was a freshly sprayed cactus, wouldn't it?

Yours in retaliatory evil,

The cat who is stationed near your house.

Dear Jennie,

Obviously it's SAFE to use! You can use it anytime you need it! Do you really need to know more?

Sincerely,
HeadOn Corp.

Does HeadON give good Headons?

Dear me several weeks ago:

And you thought knitting socks instead of studying was a good idea why? Must every exam period be accompanied by the thrill of seeing how close one can come to the exam date before beginning to commit the subject material to memory? Couldn't you just jump out of an airplane or something?

Get cracking,
Me.

Dear Prudence,
If you could get your class materials on tape, you could study and knit socks at the same time.