I tried to give you mojo, but I was too busy shooting up meth while being molested by an altar boy.

But I thought you preached against that! You lied to me! :p

I was too busy making meth with my cold meds to mojo you.

from the pen of America's Best Christian
 

The delightful Betty Bowers has some great comments about Rev. Haggard. Please read the full article, but here are some of my favorite quotes:

"Reverend Haggard is a vociferous spokesperson against gay marriage and, until yesterday, his wife probably had no idea she was actually in one."

"...it must take enormous willpower for a meth-crazed sodomite to remove a penis from his mouth long enough to denounce homosexuality."

"It's become almost an axiom of American unctuousness that the more preening the public scold, the more inevitable the public scald."

"Paul Crouch had to pay off his gay lover. (Mr. Crouch, appears to have been forgiven, if only because even those most strongly against homosexuality understand the urge to look for sexual outlets that don't involve Jan Crouch being naked.)"