When I was four or five years old my mother tried to get started with a tap dancing class. I was very shy and very awkward and hated it. Despite that experience I was always attracted to dance (on my own terms) because I love music, especially music that makes you want to move. I alway thought that it was out of reach for me because I didn't know any men who liked to dance and you needed a partner, right?

Then in the summer of 1999 I was at Disneyland and noticed that they were offering a free swing dance lesson at Plaza Gardens. I joined in that night and went back every Friday night for the rest of the summer. I discovered that the people who taught the lessons (and organized the rest of the entertainment during the band breaks that year) taught classes in Pasadena and they advertised that you didn't need a partner so I tried it out. I found 100 people (more men than women!) on a Sunday afternoon all learning to dance. That was more than five years ago and I've never stopped.

I like watching dance sometimes but mostly I just want to be doing it myself. If I am just watching I study to see what styling the woman is doing that I might try myself and I watch the man to decide if this is someone I'd like to dance with.

One of the magical things I've discovered about learning to dance it that it's really learning a whole new language and each dance can be an intense conversation even if you never exchange a word. My most memorable dances have been when I've been totally in synch with someone for those three or four minutes. Sometimes it happens with someone I know but it can also happen with someone I've never met before and I'll never see again.

My divorce. That woke me up out of what I'd accepted that my life was going to be. I was married, I had a husband, a child, and that was the way things were supposed to be. I didn't even think about whether all that made me happy, it was just what was expected. I also learned how strong I could be on my own.

I'm generally curious about the most useless and esoteric information. Like in today's paper there was an article about an archaeological dig on the Donner Party. I guess there was other news today but (yawn) who cares when people are digging up bone fragments to determine whether or not there really was cannibalism. I also like astronomy and reading about scientific discoveries I don't understand. It's still cool.

Kinsey Milhone, Sharone McCone, Skip Langdon, Kate Shugak: These are all characters from my favorite detective fiction series. These woman are independent and strong, they confront problems and solve crimes. I wish I could be just a little bit like them.

Otherwise I think the fictional character that I've connected with since I was a kid is Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I love how she tries to be polite and proper but still manages to argue and disagree with so many characters she meets. She's cranky and bossy and curious and doesn't get punished for being herself.

I want to be remembered as someone who always stayed active even into old age. I want to be remembered as someone positive that people liked to be around, that I made them laugh. And of course, I was a really good dancer...


This was fun. Now the hard part, thinking of questions for someone else!

Okay, I'd like to interview Cadaverous Pallor.

1. You have the opportunity to visit your 6-year old self for five minutes. What do you tell your younger self? Does she listen?
2. I remember you mentioning a journal in another thread. Do you still keep a journal? What purpose does it (or did it) serve for you?
3. You have an unexpected day off work with no other obligations or errands needing your attention. None of your friends or family can take time off and join you. How do you spend the day?
4. If you were a super hero, what super power would you have and why?
5. Choose an animal, a vegetable, and a weather phenomenon that describe you.

A little backstory first: When I was six we moved. I had been, from what I remember, very happy and even somewhat popular in my old school, for Kinder and part of first grade. As soon as we moved, all of that changed, and I was at the bottom of the social ladder. It wasn't until 9th grade that I actually started having fun socially at school again.

I'd say, "Life is going to be challenging. You are going to have some bad times. You may feel like things won't get better, and you'll feel scared and small. But one day, you will learn to be proud of yourself and not be scared of anyone. You have to be strong and even in the saddest times, remember that one day you will be happy. All your best dreams will come true, you just have to be strong."

I think being overly unhappy due to social pressure is the one big mistake of my young life.

I'd also say that my parents would be hard to deal with, but that one day that'll be ok too. And that I should try to be nice to my mom, because she really does love me, and just doesn't know how to show it very well. Same goes for my brother and dad. "One day you'll miss your brother very much, so be with him and enjoy it while you can."

Would six year old me listen? I think so. I believed in magic for a long, long time, and I can see myself completely believing that this is me, all grown up. Plus, I think just seeing me as I am now would be a great confidence booster. I do think younger me would ignore the "be nice to your family" part, but perhaps walk a little taller, and that'd be worth the trip.

I did bits and pieces of journaling in high school. Toward the end of high school it was more poetry and short spurts of journaling done on notebook paper to vent frustrations and work out issues regarding attractions and conflicts with friends. I spent many a night writing out feelings by flashlight when I couldn't sleep.

It's funny because as soon as I moved in with GD and truly became happy and less conflicted I pretty much stopped writing all together. A pen and paper was my sole companion when I felt rejected by others and punished by God. Loneliness was my muse.

I turned my writing to emails, and then I became addicted to message boards. So you guys end up saddled with most of my musings. ;)

These days, I don't journal very much really. I do still have one that I've written in sporadically for years. I only turn to it when I have something to vent that I don't want to bore others with....or if it's something that I don't even want to face, never mind burden anyone else with. I make resolutions and decisions, I clearly state when something really angers me....and it kind of makes the feelings feel permanent, or solid, in some way, and I feel justified. Even if I become a backslider later, which I do often. :rolleyes:

I think mostly it's "how did I get here" musings, trying to see how things tie together, piecing together the path I'm walking. I also dig the idea of saving a moment for posterity. I love revisiting my emotions past.

Reality: Sleep in, read the boards for half the day, take a nap, read my book, realize my husband will be home soon.

The better answer: I think I would sleep in. But perhaps then I'd go to the local park, walk around and breathe fresh air, feed the ducks, read and maybe even try working on writing my great novel/screenplay....but mostly clear my head, daydream, lay on the blanket and snooze in the sun. Yeah, I know, it's not much, but I seriously love being lazy laying in a grassy place.

Damn, that's a good one.

Flight, gotta have flight! And I wouldn't be super strong or anything so it's not like I could save lives, just fly from place to place is all. Errands would be such a breeze. ;)

Geez, I'm always so terrible at this. Um....that describe me? I think others would be better at answering that...

Animal...hmm, that's tough. I find admirable qualities in a lot of different animals. I've always loved giraffes but I'm nothing like them - quiet, tall, stately. How about frogs? Some are colorful and cute and they can be loud if they want. I don't know, I just pulled that out of thin air.

Ok, if by "vegetable" you mean any plant (animal, vegetable, mineral) then I'd pick daisies. I don't really know why, I just like 'em. They're simple, informal, pretty. Smell nice but not overpowering. They can be plain white or come in all kinds of cool colors. And they're decently hardy plants. I had daisies at my wedding.

Weather, wow....a warm rainy day. Where it's raining, but not too hard, just enough to get you wet...and just warm enough to be comfortable (we don't get much of that in SoCal but I've had it elsewhere). The humidity is high and warm and it's almost as if the air is hugging you, but the rain keeps it from being oppressive, and you're happy to get rained on. The sky is dark, almost green, and there's lightning high and far away. I love the rain. I don't know if that describes me but it's what I pick.

I'll come up with an interview tomorrow. Thanks for the great questions, lindyhop! :D

I want to interview Szczerbiak Maniac.

• You're a BIG guy. Have you ever had to use physical force in some out of hand situation? Have you ever had a job where you put your strength to use? Do you use your size to intimidate others, perhaps only subtley?
  
• What's the best thing about being a guy your size? What's the most annoying?
  
• What was the cultural point that got you through your teen years? It can be a band, or a movie, or a religious epiphany, whatever helped you keep sane during puberty.
  
• You can make one law for all of the United States of America, and it will hold forever. What is it?

Hmm, this list seems kind of short, so here's one more:

• Your dreamboat Wally says yes to your advances. But he is very afraid of the consequences of coming out of the closet. He wants your relationship to be a total secret - you can't even tell your closest friends and loved ones. If you do keep it a secret, you can be with him for as long as you want. Do you do it?

yes, yes I am ;)
Perhaps, but I can't actually recall it happening, so I'm gonna have to say no.
Not strength, no. I had a job as a security guard once and I assume my size was a factor in their hiring me.

Oh and when I "auditioned" to be a Klingon, my size was definitely a the main only factor. ;)
I suppose I do on occasion, but mostly just for comic effect. I think I fall into the "gentle giant" class, so while I may be intimidating from a far, as soon as you talk to me you'll realize I'm a pussycat. (At least, that's how I see myself. Would you disagree?)
Since I really am a wimp, it's nice that people don't give me crap. I.e., I don't think I'd be very good at defending myself in an actual fight and fortunately, I've never really had to.

And being able to see/reach things in high places is handy too. ;)
The world simply isn't designed for folks my size. Sure, there are clothing stores for big & tall fellas, but beds, cars, toilets, roller coasters, airline & theater seats, counter tops, etc. are often physically uncomfortable, if not impossible to use.
Musicals. I would sit in my room (or more often, lay down on my bed) and endlessly listen to cast recordings while I sang along reading the libretto (until I memorized it). I'd lose myself in each character that was singing and for that moment, I was that person.

I was especially fond of ALW's Phantom of the Opera. I identified with the title character a bit too much. In fact, I adopted it as my nickname for quite a few years. Most of my old Rocky Horror friends (I was involved in RHPS from when I was 12 to when I "retired" at 25) still know me only as "Phantom".
Being a Libertarian, I'm not especially fond of making laws, but I sure would like to see gays universally recognized as being equivalent to heterosexuals in every way (marriage, military service, hiring, etc.). I'm quite confident that even though the Fundies would still see us as "sinners", they'd soon discover that the world didn't end because of our recognition and they'd learn to live with it, just like the racists learned to live with blacks being recognized as 100% citizens/humans.
Yes. And by "yes", I mean HELL YES, totally, absolutely, no question nor pause.

Did Paris think twice about wanting to be with Helen?

Wally is not only the most beautiful person I've ever seen, by all accounts he's a very nice guy as well. I don't care for his choice in music (his favorite band is Metallica—yuck!), but I could live with it. :rolleyes:

Obviously, a closeted relationship isn't ideal and would be very difficult to manage. However, when one sees oneself as physically repugnant and gets the chance to be with a beautiful person, one makes allowances.