Dear Vegans of the World:

I do not understand you. Personally, I figure my DNA has made me into an omnivore and I follow that. However, I respect anyone's decisions on diet because I know they're all personal. Seeing as how I have personal tastes (lobsters look like giant bugs) I can't possibly tell anyone else what to eat.

All that I ask is that I am not made to feel guilty for following my genetic predispositions. Many of my best friends have been vegan through the years and I love all y'all.

Hmm, now that I wrote this out, I realize that this is very similar to my point of view on religion, politics, or anything else, pretty much.

Love,
Jen

P.S. Yes, I would order rabbit at a restaurant. Veal is tasty too.

Dear LoT,
Heap big doings in sky.
Loud thunder.
Storm coming.
Signed,
Chief Big Feather

Dear Capt Jack and Moonliner,
Me likes Alice's Restaurant.
Some of my posts sound like this song. On and on... Hee hee.
An 18 minute song... Wow.
Funny sh!t.
Signed,
GC
:)

Dear Fellow Male Coworkers,

It seems some instruction on how trash cans work is necessary. You wouldn't think so, all of you being engineers and all, but some of you seem to be unclear on the concept.

The model of trash can in the bathrooms have what is called a "lid". This "lid" helps keep the restroom sanitary for you and your fellow employees. This "lid" performs a very intricate movement known by some as "rotating", sometimes "flipping". It does not, however, perform this movement under its own power. Nor is the weight of a single, or even several, wet paper towels sufficient force. Therefore, one does not just place a discarded paper towel on top of the "lid". The proper procedure is to apply a small amount of force using your own muscles to "rotate" the lid, allowing the refuse to go through the "lid" and into the trash can.

We appologize for assuming you weren't retards. We will not make the same mistake in the future.

Sincerely,
Management

Dear Dork that looks like Napoleon Dynamite with red hair.

Stop following me! I've seen you 3 times this week about town and you are too ugly to spot again. Please stay inside.

Signed,

Prefers to look at better looking people.

Dear NA,

I wasn't EVEN following you! GOSH!

Signed,

ND Dork

Dear GC,
Im glad you liked it. Yes, its one of the longer songs to ever hit the airwaves and was usually used by DJ's of the day to take extended 'smoke' breaks.

;)

CJ

Dear Traci,

Please don't eat me!!!! I only want to live in the fertile soil with the sun shining down upon me and my brethren- is that too much to ask?

Sincerely hoping not to be in your tummy tonight-

Tom Ato

Dear Sweet Child of Mine,

I love that you have friend who have a small pool. I love that you can go over there almost every day. What I do not love is that you come home and sit around in your wet shorts.

My ass is now wet from sitting on a chair you vacated 2 hours ago!

Be glad you are not home tonight...your Mommy would have figured out some sweet revenge!!

((hugs))

Love, Your Patient, revenge-seeking Mother.

Dear CP,

I agree. I think we are designed as omnivores. I think the fact that you can only get b12 from meat proves it. I don't even feel sorry for animals that are killed for meat (or leather, for that matter). I don't think we are designed to eat grain fed (especially pesticide laced grain fed) animals, or animals that are shot up with hormones and antibiotics, or animals too sick to walk. And sadly, grass fed organic beef, and free range chicken is frikkin expensive. So, with the current state of our available livestock, I think vegan is healthier.

I'm only near vegan though, as I will probably get eggs from the same farm I get my veggies from in the fall. I won't stop wearing leather, and I won't freak out if I accidentally ingest some dairy. We'd be straight vegetarian if it weren't that cheese really doesn't agree with any of us (and is pretty bad for everyone). This is a good excuse to eat healthy. It stops us from ordering pizza on lazy nights, and driving by fast food while we are running errands. And now that I'm not buying meat, I can afford to eat all organic foods.

Eternally yours,
Former meat lover