Dear Ponine,

I have noted somewhat amusingly that unless one takes note of the year, this thread appears to be quite recent, and in perfect chronological order to boot.

Well done,
The Goon


Dear ankles,

Being annoying and sore will not get me to take off these strappy sandals here at the office, and if you persist in irritating me, I'll dress nicely for work every day.

Think about it,

Me

Doe, a dear...

Dear Me,

Clean up your room it's a disaster.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Oriental Trading Company:

Please fire whoever designed the products on pages 5 and 6. While you're at it, please do the same with whoever decided to put those products in your "business edition" catalog.

Sincerely,
Morri

Dear morning journal,

Stop staring at me.
Seriously.

Your puppy dog eyes aren't helping me. In fact, nothing is helping me. I'm repeatedly filling my brain with junk food media today and I can't get my head on anything positive. Don't you dare give me that pathetic wounded stare. Because if I open you and write in you, I might discover that I actually want to stay in reading deprivation. At least part-time. And that sounds just horrible.

Or wonderful.

OK, so I acknowledge that if I don't write in you every morning I get cranky. I blame it on other stuff. It's just like if I don't shower-- my day is absolute **** thereafter. Fine. FIIIIINE. I'll take you to lunch and I'll write, already. Are you satisfied? ARE YOU SATISFIED, JOURNAL?

Please advise.
LSPE

Dear A,

I am an independent contractor not an employee working for you. You should probably think about treating me as a customer rather than someone to vent to when you are angry. You have hired me to do marketing and my services do no include babysitting or psychological therapy.

Sincerely,

me.

Dear people in my office,

I am not a mind reader. Please give me details. Also, when I come by because your boss and my boss told me to, it would be nice of you to cooperate. I won't be the one dealing with an angry boss because you won't.

Dear weather,

knock it off.

Dear candy dish at my co-workers desk,

Yes, you are beautiful and I love you. You are bad for my diet.

I'm sorry. But it's over.


Love,

~ me

Dear virgins of the world:

Thanks for nothing.

Sincerely,
All the straight guys

Dear mousepod,

I hope you're settling in well. Sorry about the heat.

~SoCal

Dear end users -

When you install unapproved gaming software, and we take it off, it's best not to complain about it.

Signed,

IT Professionals of the World