In Honor of the NCAA Tournament.....
 

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

~Coach John Wooden

"What's the difference between the day and a year?" - random guests at Universal Studios - THOUSANDS of times a month

"I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce." - J. Edgar Hoover

Last words of Thomas J. Grasso, executed in Oklahoma by lethal injection: "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."

"The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of it's scent nor the daisy of it's simple charm. If every flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose it's loveliness."

-- Therese of Lisieux

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

--- Snoopy

"Crooks don't know."
-Jack Kerouac

Garrison Keillor quotes (I'm cheating with more than one today):

"They would not be smart enough to pour piss out of their boots, if the instructions were written on the sole."

"The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles."

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."

"God writes a lot of comedy...the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors that don't know how to play funny."

"...it was a dark and damp cave with countless Buddah statues standing in the foreground, soon after entering we were stumbling around in the dark. I meant to bring my flashlight, but I forgot, so I fumbled around for a pack of matches.

When I lit each match, it formed a small cirlce of light around us. In that circle the thin tall Buddhas stood sentry. Each time I lit another match this gentle army sprang to life, and each time it flickered out, we were plunged back into darkness. It was a remarkable effect, very spiritual, and it made me consider how far we'd come...

...it struck me that life was like that, too. You light a match, and you're just a child. Light another, and you're married with children of your own. A few more brief, and bright flares, and our babies have left home. A few more after that and your pack is used up.

...Know that we must make each brief combustion a bright, shinning moment that pierces the darkness and illuninates a thousand gods."

---David Elliot Cohen

Sadly, the quote that comes to mind after reading the one above is:

"It was a dark and stormy night..."