Disney code for Da Gays!!! Tsk, tsk, SM.




Nowadays, there's the infamous Thai militia, too. It's not just Star Trek anymore, bud. Nicely, though, of the three groups, it's the gay red shirts that have the best chances of survival.

Oh yes, of course. When you linked it with Goths, I thought it was some new fad the kids are getting into. Gay Days didn't even cross my mind.

Bwa-ha.

On that note, I saw some guy in DL a few weeks ago wearing a red t-shirt with the word "Expendable" printed in Star Trek font.

Grumble. Okay. Disney has known how to mint money from day one. Usually they resist going for the easiest money and the lowest common denominator. DCA was the massive exception to the rule and, by all accounts, it was a big mistake for them. Remember, "If it's good enough for Magic Mountain?" So, Eisner was ousted, and we now have this multi-billion dollar makeover going on at Disney's second least compelling theme park. (I'll let the French get all curmudgeonly about Disney Studios.) Lots of fantastic artwork to look at in the Blue Sky Cellar, and daily updates on the company's blog from people like Steve Davison and John Lasseter. Quality, quality, quality. You people aren't going to believe the amount of quality we're going to be cramming into this park. And then, practically on the eve of what would define what we should expect from now on from DCA, Iger got nervous, dumbed down the centerpiece show and installed a temporary, and temporary looking dance party. They're trying to create a Hollywood Bowl picnic and concert experience, and then they sell you a plastic poncho and want you to hang out at a rave. Good for them, I guess. Remember the uproar when The Candlelight Procession was moved to the Fantasyland Theatre, and the only way you could be guaranteed a seat was if you bought a dining package? I'm sure there were people who loved the convenience, but it was terrible showmanship, and the extortion was transparent.

Yes, alcohol sells. Yes, Romans like watching lions eat Christians. Doesn't make either a great idea. There's more to this than, "I don't like children running around in a party where mixed drinks are being sold so I'm going to be a cranky old stick-in-the-mud." I really hate the cheap show quality of Glow-fest. I hate that they continue to ignore the infrastructure and themeing that already exists in the park. I hate that executive arrogance inserted itself into the creative process for WOC.

What is the point of WOC? Is it simply to give people a show, and create ancillary ways to pull money out of our pockets? Or is it a way to re-brand DCA, giving us a reason to come back and play at that park we used to hate? Every great show at Disneyland is filled with iconic Disneyland moments, Tinkerbell flies over the Castle, the MSEP towers over the crowds sitting on the curbs of Main Street, the Columbia is Captain Hook's pirate ship! Nighttime at Disneyland itself is so iconic there was an entire episode of The Wonderful World of Disney about it. The current "parade," Celebrate! A Street Party, is utterly forgettable and has no iconic Disneyland moments, neither did Light Magic. I would argue that WOC comes close, using the Fun Wheel as a lighting effect. Unfortunately, the cattle herding and the sheer amount of time invested just to see the damn thing makes makin' memories secondary to navigating the experience. Using the Hollywood Blvd. backdrop wall as a projection surface is a great idea, but (here's that word again) iconic scenes from Hollywood films might be a better fit for the Backlot. Move the bars inside Hollywood and Dine, hire a real live band in "I just got off from work at my studio job" costumes to play on the improv stage. I swear, DCA wouldn't lose a single guest waiting to see WOC, and they might walk away saying DCA is finally getting its act together.

I know Glow-fest isn't going anywhere, they're already hiring more food trucks to amp up the L.A. edgy hipness factor. Maybe, if it makes enough money, they'll just stop with all this expensive and unnecessary remodeling, shut down that little fountain show, and wrap the entire park in Glow-fest contact paper.

I'm not judging anyone for enjoying it. Go, have fun. Raise heck. I'd just rather see the full might and power of the Disney Magic Machine put to work here.

But the full might and power of the Disney machine has proved clueless for more than 2 decades how to appeal to, well, not only the teen market - but to anyone.

DCA? A nearly complete failure for nearly 10 years. And what major attraction has been added to Disneyland in the last 2 decades? Now name ONE that wasn't a revival of a much older Disneyland attraction.

How old is Fantasmic? What's that? New dragon, you say? You mean the dragon that was shown in the advertising commercials for the original Fantasmic over two decades ago? Finally getting around to that is NOT demonstrating any current talent for appealing to guests.

Ironically enough, it's DCA that has more recent successes. Midway Mania jumps to mind. Disneyland has been resting on its considerable laurels, or returning to them in a headlong rush, for longer than many of my friends have been alive.


But as for appealing to hipster young folks, Disney has done zip for the last quarter-century, and two outside companies contracted to install entertainment at DCA have had wild success. Um, I don't think I want Disney Entertainment involved in anything. The Imagineers could disappear tomorrow, too - and I would hardly notice.

Steve Davidson can stay. But get that Iger idiot off his back.

^Then I guess this is the answer.

I'll be over at the old park, complaining about the loss of Carousel of Progress.

What about The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh? You have to admit that this one attraction alone saved Disneyland from closing the doors forever!

I'm so sad. That ride SUCKED!

Hahahahaha, your best line at Disney since "Do they siralcohol here?"

Maybe if I had partook in some alcohol I wouldn't have been so sad!

Partookened.

The grammarian in me. Makes my clothes tight.